So a few years back, I experienced one of my worst episodes of Anxiety/Obsessive/Intrusive thoughts that led into a long bout of depression and quite honestly, thoughts of suicide at the very end (because of the intrusive thoughts, ... but I didn't want to die...) Fast forward about 5+ years and in the meantime, things have gotten much, much better, UNTIL... I go to my doctors and find out I have high blood pressure (towards the end of last summer, 2016). Needless to say, my obsessive thoughts kicked back in. Dying, death, etc. That lasted for about a month or two and then I broke away from it. Fast forward till about last week and my wife and I had a really long, deep discussion about how I'm not the greatest husband. Great dad, great person, but not so great of a husband. I still love her and she still loves me, very much, and since our talk last week, we are on a slow recovery to mending ourselves and me focusing much more on her than ever (rather than myself), I found myself after a few days of crying, knowing that I wasn't a great husband, my intrusive thoughts kicked back in again. While not as "strong" or long-lasting as last summer, they still pop up throughout the day and every now and then, they'll sort of take my "breath away" sink in my stomach sort of feeling. So here is the question, it always revolves around the thoughts of me hanging myself? Why? I HATE talking about when people commit suicide, HATE IT. And I know (and have no need to, nor want to) either take my life or hang myself. For the most part, I would say 90% of the time, I super easy going and laugh quite a bit. I just don't know why it consumes my thoughts when I get "really" upset about things. Thoughts?
Hey,it may scare you but to be honest I think you are under attack by the devil. It like to attack our weakest string. it lied to you by saying you are not good ..and you believed. You need to pluck the lie out by reading the scriptures about how much God love
Me.
I was hand-crafted by the creator of the univer
Psalm 139:14, "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."
My heavenly Father deeply cares about me!
Isaiah 49:15-16, "Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."
My heavenly Father rejoices over me with great joy!
Zephaniah 3:17, "The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing."
There is no condemnation awaiting me!
Romans 8:1, "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus..."
My sins are cast into the depths of the sea!
Micah 7:19, "He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea."
I am no longer the person I used to be!
2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."
I am considered a son of God!
1 John 3:1, "Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God..."
I am no longer a child of the darkness, but of the light!
Ephesians 5:8, "For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:"
I am loved for who I am, not because of what I've done
Romans 5:8, "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."