How to handle, toxic parents?

John Tholms

Member
Dec 5, 2016
19
4
39
Alabama
✟10,036.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
My mom and little sis, keep starting fights, constantly calls both me and dad liars, and are extremely hostile to minor problems. Without the advantage of good karma, they are dangerous to me spiritually, almost completely impossible.

As a person desperately trying to hold onto God's word, it's getting very hard to return favors.

What should I do?..
 

thecolorsblend

If God is your Father, who is your Mother?
Supporter
Jul 1, 2013
9,199
8,425
Gotham City, New Jersey
✟308,231.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
I guess it depends on what they're picking on you for.

I get baited a lot about my Catholic faith by some family members. They're always looking for an argument about the Pope or some such. It's annoying. It's like they're shocked to discover Pope Francis isn't a TEA Party Patriot or something, I guess.

So I've resolved to answer questions if people have them but I won't engage if someone's just looking for trouble. Why should I use this beautiful tradition that nourishes me as a battering ram? I shouldn't. So I don't.

Instead, I stick to topics where we have more consensus and constructive things to say.

Fighting fire with fire won't work. When we get attacked personally, it's tempting to return fire. But who does that help? What is gained with that?
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Hank77
Upvote 0

Wolfe

Pack Leader
Aug 24, 2016
1,345
1,115
United states
✟59,662.00
Country
United States
Faith
Anabaptist
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
Personally I fight back anytime someone picks on me.
But that's prolly not a good thing to do.

Either share the truth with them (Gods word), or depart from them.

It's better to lose an arm, than your whole body (different context, but I think it holds up)
 
Upvote 0

John Tholms

Member
Dec 5, 2016
19
4
39
Alabama
✟10,036.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
It's not all the time it's like this.

I didn't mean to make it sound like that, but here is the actual problem; sometimes, she just gets very confrontational. Like pitting people in corners, intentionally fermenting anger in other people to stir emotions, and putting blame on me for problematic events that were primarily not my fault.

I'm trying my best to follow this commandment; but these fight almost always come out of nowhere. And when they do, someone will implode..

Every time I finish a large task like helping dad with something or chores, It's almost as if I've not done anything at all...

-- They are old, I make a limited income that won't allow me to live on my own, next Sunday may change my life though, little sis is getting married soon and may be an opportunistic time to get back with God again.

I'm obligated to take care of them the best I can..
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

Hank77

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Jun 26, 2015
26,368
15,457
✟1,099,038.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
It's not all the time it's like this.

I didn't mean to make it sound like that, but here is the actual problem; sometimes, she just gets very confrontational. Like pitting people in corners, intentionally fermenting anger in other people to stir emotions, and putting blame on me for problematic events that were primarily not my fault.

I'm trying my best to follow this commandment; but these fight almost always come out of nowhere. And when they do, someone will implode..

Every time I finish a large task like helping dad with something or chores, It's almost as if I've not done anything at all...

-- They are old, I make a limited income that won't allow me to live on my own, next Sunday may change my life though, little sis is getting married soon and may be an opportunistic time to get back with God again.

I'm obligated to take care of them the best I can..
What does your dad do?
 
Upvote 0

John Tholms

Member
Dec 5, 2016
19
4
39
Alabama
✟10,036.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
We go fishing often, he mainly keeps to himself. He knows what I'm going through; when these things happen to him he tries his best to back out. Unlike him, I've got nowhere to get away from it.

He's fine, I don't know what those two do, sometimes I just need to rest down a little bit. But calm time can lead to storms.. I was just asking if maybe religion could help me just a little bit. Women in this house always marry soldiers. pretty much the background there...
 
Upvote 0

Hank77

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Jun 26, 2015
26,368
15,457
✟1,099,038.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
We go fishing often, he mainly keeps to himself. He knows what I'm going through; when these things happen to him he tries his best to back out. Unlike him, I've got nowhere to get away from it.

He's fine, I don't know what those two do, sometimes I just need to rest down a little bit. But calm time can lead to storms.. I was just asking if maybe religion could help me just a little bit. Women in this house always marry soldiers. pretty much the background there...
I am truly sorry to hear of your situation, it is sad to say the least.
All I can advise is stay close to Jesus. When you are feeling persecuted call out to Him. Stay close to your dad as much as you can.
Pray for your mom and sister. Ask God to bless them. Of coarse for your dad too.
If you have a church get involved with the young group and maybe you can talk to the pastor about your situation.
I will pray for you and your family.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

John Tholms

Member
Dec 5, 2016
19
4
39
Alabama
✟10,036.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I am truly sorry to hear of your situation, it is sad to say the least.
All I can advise is stay close to Jesus. When you are feeling persecuted call out to Him. Stay close to your dad as much as you can.
Pray for your mom and sister. Ask God to bless them. Of coarse for your dad too.
If you have a church get involved with the young group and maybe you can talk to the pastor about your situation.
I will pray for you and your family.

Thank you, Faith Hope and Love to you.
 
  • Friendly
Reactions: Hank77
Upvote 0