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I have a very hard time believing god loves me...to the point

kodadog1024

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It's hard sometimes to rely on God when you can't see Him or audibly "hear Him". I wish I could hear Him too. BUT, through His Living Word, the Bible, He speaks to us. It's living, breathing. Stay in it, everyday. Ask God, what do you want me to learn from this today? God doesn't usually shout. It's the smallest "whisper" in the dead of night. A tiny, tiny whisper, so you can focus on Him. But just because things of this world are not going your way does not mean He doesn't love you. He is changing things up, based on what He thinks is good for you, NOT the opposite. Whether it's school, friends, the job, your home, etc. Trust Him. Yes, it's hard, BUT His yolk is easy and His burden is light. Without pain, there can NEVER be growth, honest, raw spiritual growth where you depend on 110%, where you need Him more than life, than air. I've been there, where all I could do is say "Jesus" and that is it. BUT make no mistake, he takes no pleasure in "correcting us", whatever it may be. Stay in His word, daily. Ask Him to guide you and He will. Don't let your own path confuse you for the path He wants to take you on. Everything you are feeling is normal. But you HAVE to trust Him. And He smiles upon you everyday you wake up. Trust Him. //
Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad – for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world. 1 Peter 4:12
 
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ArcticWind

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Your thoughts are familiar to me. I also suffer from depression, for a long time. There are days when I'm devoid of a will to leave.
As much as I would like to sort things out in my life, I know I don't have the power to do so by my own. It's like fighting Goliath, and I feel overwhelmed.
But I do believe that God permits these wounds to scar our bodies, only for Him to heal them afterwards. I know that when I have episodes of "rebellion", my anger blocks me from feeling His love. But then I see the people that are dear to me, and they are the biggest sign of His love for me.
You may feel miserable, but so many people are, in this world. But this pain is nothing compared to the pain that Christ felt, pain that He endured because of His love for you and me.
We must believe, like David believed in God when he was faced with the giant before him.
I do believe God will find a way, and work in such a way, so that we can be happy both on earth and in heaven.
So keep going...
 
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Ginger Sunshyne

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I struggle with the same thing. And someone told me something once that has stuck with me: You don't feel like God loves you, because YOU don't love you. That really cut me to the quick. I was trying to put my own self-hate on God. And that's a sin to attribute things to God that are not His. Once that really hit me, I was able to release God from my perceived "hatred He had for me" and start work on loving myself. Psalm 139 really helped me with that..
 
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