Certain members of my family don't like my wife [moved]

My entire family until recently all live in NJ and my wife's family all live within two hours away. My wife works days and I work evenings and weekends so we don't have to pay for day for daycare.

My aunt and grandmother moved into our area because my aunt couldn't find work. My wife and I thought this was a general good thing so our daughter can get to know her great grandmother and we can have someone to watch her sometimes. We thought there might be some issues because my aunt has to say it nicely a strong personality.

The problems started last summer. My in-laws wanted to take our daughter to Disney World next now this year even though my daughter is only 3 (she will be almost 4) since my father in-law is an older man he wanted to do it while he can and still enjoy it. So we all went to a local for them theme park.

When my aunt found out she wanted to take her to another one 3 hours away. My daughter got very hot at the park when we took her and only wanted to be in the water park area and didn't like waiting in line for a ride. I told my aunt if she wanted to take her to go to the one my in-laws took her too since we didn't do anything and they could pick her up from my in-laws on the way so she can sleep in and to take her in September so it won't be as hot.

That wasn't good enough for her and told me it's her way or nothing. I said nothing then.

Now this past Christmas is when it got really bad. My aunt and grandmother wanted to take her to see some lights. We said OK. When my wife and I saw the weather report it was going to be bitterly cold and we were going to NJ for Christmas to see my brothers and mom so we asked if they could change their plans maybe see a drive thru display some where else. Again my aunt and now my grandmother are saying it's my way or nothing. We said nothing.

We have had problems with my uncle as well because him and his wife like to come down and not tell us until they are down and get angry when my wife and I don't drop everything to come and see them.

They are now spreading lies and half truths about my wife. I am following my dead father's advice"if anyone including family does or says anything against your wife you disown them right then and there".

I am asking what should we do so it doesn't spread to other members of the family. My mom has gotten in on it and is telling everyone the truth.

Thank you for the advice I had to tell these members of the family that we need distance (I didn't actually say it that nicely). My wife and I tried to mend bridges when we took our daughter to open Christmas presents at my Aunt and Grandma's house.

They literally acted like we weren't there no hello no nothing. We are going to Disney World in March with my wife's family and them. My wife and I decided that we are taking them off our reservations since the trip I am sure you know is very expensive and we agreed it is too much money to be miserable.

My Mom asked if we are going to tell them I said I told my wife no since we apparently don't exist. My Mom said good.

I am sorry to inform everyone that over the weekend those members of the family and I got into a huge argument after my wife, daughter and I didn't go to my Grandma's party. My Aunt accused my wife and I of neglect and that I didn't love my daughter that much.

That was the last straw and I cursed them out. My Aunt, Grandma, and Uncle told me never to speak to them again.

It wasn't so much what they said, but how they said it. They said in so many words that "the text wasn't because we were still upset, but that we felt you were being neglectful and we have concerns that you don't love your daughter as much as you should" (there was nothing in the text to convey that only that she was still hurt about last month).

My one brother agreed with me that my daughter is so unneglected that might need some neglecting. But also that if they are so emotional immature that it probably isn't in my daughter's best interest in being around them.