High anxiety; Feel like im going doqn the rabbit hole

Far Side Of the Moon said:

Uhh.. Dealing with anxiety so high I feel like I'm gonna throw up, dealing with derealization, nightmares...i feel I cant make it. This is a special hell... My fear is going insane and I feel that's happening slowly but surely.

I dont have.money for meds, doctors and pills, I just hate this is happening to me.

I hate this is my life... I just feel like my brain is breaking and just wish the lord would be kind enough to put me out of this misery.

Dealing with intrusive thoughts, derealizatiom and just pretending to be okay...along with my dad leaving and replaying my aunts events in my mind.

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I feel for you. If I could bear the brunt for you, I gladly would. I pray that God will place onto me all that you cannot handle, according to His will. But in the end, you are in the hands of God, and He will do according to that which is purposed in you. Have faith, trust and courage. Remember this passage:

Matthew 8:24-26

And if it helps, believe me when I tell you I experience the same pressings, but I count it joy, and do not mind it, even, count it glory to God. I have wondered if what is happening to me will happen to others, and hope they can likewise endure.

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Somedays I just want to curl up in a ball. I still don't get it. How a person can feel so much pain and still be expected to keep going. I feel like I'm stuck in limbo. I have no idea where I'm going. I've done a terrible job at help myself and it's like I've chosen to suffer in silence but I don't know how to snap myself out of it. You're not alone in your feelings. I said a prayer for you.

Far Side Of the Moon said:

Uhh.. Dealing with anxiety so high I feel like I'm gonna throw up, dealing with derealization, nightmares...i feel I cant make it. This is a special hell... My fear is going insane and I feel that's happening slowly but surely.

I dont have.money for meds, doctors and pills, I just hate this is happening to me.

I hate this is my life... I just feel like my brain is breaking and just wish the lord would be kind enough to put me out of this misery.

Dealing with intrusive thoughts, derealizatiom and just pretending to be okay...along with my dad leaving and replaying my aunts events in my mind.

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Dear sister, I saw your thread earlier but was at work and couldn't respond then. I did pray for you, though, in line with Philippians 4:6-7.

Before I talk more about that, though, may I ask if you know exactly what you're anxious about? I hear you that there are multiple things going on externally (and internally), but I'm asking about the very root of the feeling(s), internally. What is it that you feel most afraid of?

If you can feel what it might be, you don't have to express it here, of course, unless you want to. But I'm asking this because it feels to me as if there is something, and perhaps multiple somethings, at the center of all of this, and that the feelings you're having are just symptoms and side effects of this central thing.

If I'm off-base, that's ok; I'm very willing to be wrong. I just felt as if I had to ask.

I'm continuing to pray and do some spiritual warfare for you, in any case.

In Christ,
Daryl

Far Side Of the Moon said:

Right, I feel that way...but I have to be strong for my mom.

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Yeah, I know how you feel on that front. My step dad passed away last August (he had so much different health issues he was just really sick). So it's just me, my mom, and my younger sister (she's special needs). I have an older sister but she's busy with her kids and her own life. My mom needs my help but I struggle with stupid things like making doctors appointments and filling out job applications (because I feel so inadequate). Sometimes I think if I could just get better fast enough everything would be okay because what I'm doing now isn't life.

aangel said:

Somedays I just want to curl up in a ball. I still don't get it. How a person can feel so much pain and still be expected to keep going. I feel like I'm stuck in limbo. I have no idea where I'm going. I've done a terrible job at help myself and it's like I've chosen to suffer in silence but I don't know how to snap myself out of it. You're not alone in your feelings. I said a prayer for you.

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I wanted to mention your post as well, dear sister. Though I don't know the specific cause(s) of your pain, I hear and recognize its intensity very well. I thank you for having the courage to give some small voice to it here, and I want you to know that you're not alone either.

In my experience, in order for there to begin to be any relief to the pain, it needs to be shared and expressed with someone you trust who can hear you and understand you without judging. It can be very hard to find someone like that, particularly if you're a deeply sensitive person, but people like that do exist.

Suffering in silence is often the only recourse if you feel or perceive that no one around you can truly hear or see you. The language of the heart has no words, and while many can speak it to some degree, only few can hear it.

As I'm writing this, I see the two of you beginning to share, so I'll just finish, step back, and let you talk. Please know that I'm praying for you both, though.

In Christ,
Daryl

Ok the first thing I learned towards getting help for my anxiety was you are not alone, just no one talks about it.

Try to develop a rational out look on your fears...when you worry write it down, no matter what it is, or how bizarre just put it on the page, if it's an event in the future you fear, once that event has passed go back to what you wrote down about and then write what actually happened...you will see something interesting the more you do it.

When you worry, try to get an alternative dialogue going in your head, like you were your own friend asking for advise on your worries....what would you tell yourself.

The worry tree...you're worried, what are you exactly worried about first of all, then ask yourself...can I do anything about that right now...if not then ask yourself, can I deal with it later? If the answer is yes...then deal with it later and try and distract yourself away from it...in my case I play games. If the answer is no then ask why you are worried about it if you cannot do anything about and distract yourself with something else. If you can deal with it at the time then do so.

A mindfulness exercise to help you not worry about future events...take a buscuit, focus only on the biscuit in your hand...nothing else exists but you and the biscuit, how does it feel in your hand? How does it smell, what does it look like, what does it taste like, focus only on that moment. There is no future, it hasn't happened yet, the past is at best a poor memory, the only thing that is real is right now in this moment. Takes practice but it helps to avoid thinking about the future.

The future is not set, there is no fate but what we make for ourselves. John Connor.

Hope this helps

My brother. Listen to me.


I understand exactly what you are going thru. I have lost my career over intrusive and irrational thoughts. I have such bad anxiety 24/7 it feels like I'm going to die or do something bad.

My point here is don't give up! The lord loves you. He gives us a peaceful and sound mind. The devil uses instrusive thoughts to control us! Trust me when I say I know what your going thru!

As I sit here, I'm lottery trembling in anxiety. But I wanted to write you this post to encourage you!

God loves you! You are not crazy, you are not going crazy. We are normal. Lord I pray peace over you.

Trust me. This will pass.