What's the deal with Chritian divorcees remarrying?

curious mike said:

one christian told me today that when we became born again and accepted Jesus as our savior that we were made clean so whatever sins we had committed before then would be forgiven so we would be starting with a clean slate, would that be accurate? If the answer to that question is yes then that tells me that a man or woman who had gotten divorced prior to accepting Jesus, would be clear to remarry since he/she would be starting with a clean slate, is that correct or not please?

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Being forgiven of one's sins (the clean slate) does not confer the right to commit the same or other sins thereafter. We do sin, it's true, but your question seems to ask if we are given a 'green light' to sin simply because past sins have been forgiven.

So, the big question here probably is "would a new marriage BE a sin?"

The answer to that depends on the circumstances. Scripture teaches that some second marriages are permitted because of the circumstances of the first one--your spouse having committed adultery, for instance. When speaking of a possible remarriage, there is, after all, a former spouse still alive, so it's not as though the past is erased. But different churches interpret all of this differently.

curious mike said:

Yes, you have put things into better perspective. I am thinking if the "the past is erased", I am guessing it's not? So how does one determine if remarrying is sin, is this an individual's judgement call between he/she and God since I am guessing there is no cut and dried law dues to many circumstances being different?

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Well, the various denominations have a range of policies on this matter, and I would think that a serious Christian would be guided by his own church's view or of SOME church's view of this matter. I'd think it harder to justify making a decision on such a thing simply on my own.

The Eastern Orthodox permit up to four marriages. The Roman Catholic Church continues to oppose remarriages but mainly in theory (a few hundred dollars and an unsubstantiated claim that you didn't understand what you were getting into at the time will get a member an "annulment," meaning that the church will take the position that you were not really married the first time so no divorce occurred). Protestants break several ways on this, with many mainline churches considering remarriage permissible if counseling takes place and the former spouse caused the marriage to fail or become non-functional, etc. Some of the more fundamentalistic churches oppose it absolutely, so long as the former spouse is alive.

curious mike said:

one christian told me today that when we became born again and accepted Jesus as our savior that we were made clean so whatever sins we had committed before then would be forgiven so we would be starting with a clean slate, would that be accurate?

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Yes. It would be.

If the answer to that question is yes then that tells me that a man or woman who had gotten divorced prior to accepting Jesus, would be clear to remarry since he/she would be starting with a clean slate, is that correct or not please?

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Yes, that's correct.

The old man is dead. Whoever he/she was, was buried into Christ's death. That person no longer exists, the new man is not responsible for any of his covenants, commitments, and what have you. Marriage is a covenant, but having died, a person is freed from covenant.

Romans 6:8 (all of Romans 6)... Romans 7:2-4 ... Romans 13:8 ... 2 Corinthians 5:17

If you are presently married to a person when you die to the covenant between you, the obligation of love remains Romans 13:8. And because that obligation remains: 1 Corinthians 7:12-17

curious mike said:

Yes, you have put things into better perspective. I am thinking if the "the past is erased", I am guessing it's not? So how does one determine if remarrying is sin, is this an individual's judgement call between he/she and God since I am guessing there is no cut and dried law dues to many circumstances being different?

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He's relying on wisdom of man's traditions, not scripture or God in his statements. Notice, no Bible verses quoted. He did reference a religious order, not scripture.

"permits up to 4 marriages" ... find this in the Bible, good luck!

Razare said:

He's relying on wisdom of man's traditions, not scripture or God in his statements. Notice, no Bible verses quoted. He did reference a religious order, not scripture.

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Oh, I can throw Bible verses around with the best of them, my friend, but I thought it better to answer the questions asked as directly as possible. I did not mention any religious orders, by the way.

You saw it as an opportunity for promoting your own or your denomination's views on the matter at hand. I think that's wrong to do in a case like this, and it isn't what we were asked to do.

curious mike said:

one christian told me today that when we became born again and accepted Jesus as our savior that we were made clean so whatever sins we had committed before then would be forgiven so we would be starting with a clean slate, would that be accurate? If the answer to that question is yes then that tells me that a man or woman who had gotten divorced prior to accepting Jesus, would be clear to remarry since he/she would be starting with a clean slate, is that correct or not please?

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I'll get some flak for saying this, but I'm tired of catering to tradition. On this side of the cross, a Christian male can get married to any other unmarried Christian female. She must be willing and of marriageable age (anytime after puberty). And he must be able to provide for her. If the woman has had any past divorces, they must be determined to be legitimate. If the man has had any past divorces, it doesn't matter if they are legitimate or not. It doesn't even matter if he is currently married. However, the opinion of his current wife (wives) must be honestly considered. This might seem like a double standard, but this corresponds with the natural purposes of male headship, polygamy, and to the husband's right to be the sole reproductive partner to his wives. This doesn't mean that the husband wasn't in sin during any past divorce, it just means he is under different marriage regulations - and in this scenario the legitimacy of any of those past divorces (if any) simply don't play a factor.

I will note that polygamy is culturally frowned upon and currently illegal in many countries. However, this does not affect truth. You might want to argue that the NT somehow bans the practice of polygamy, but the evidence presented to support such a position is incredibly weak. If anything, monogamy is positioned as "ideal", but certainly not the only way to practice marriage. Answer this question before going off on me: Let us say you go to South America and bring the Gospel to a tribe in the rain forest. The chief of this tribe has three wives and he has children with each. He accepts the Gospel message and becomes born again. Do you make him divorce two of his wives?

Jig said:

Let us say you go to South America and bring the Gospel to a tribe in the rain forest. The chief of this tribe has three wives and he has children with each. He accepts the Gospel message and becomes born again. Do you make him divorce two of his wives?

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Certainly. And that has been the Christian policy throughout the ages. Missionaries have brought the Gospel to pagan peoples and, if they converted, taught them to abandon their pagan practices such as head hunting, going naked, human sacrifice, etc. The behavior (polygamy) is not as stunningly unacceptable as these practices, but condoning or approving of it is nothing the church has been willing to do. It should be said that the church has compromised on the customs of some of these peoples when they did not touch upon a moral issue (for instance, in the look of the vestments worn by priests who ministered to these natives, but that is not the same thing.

Albion said:

Certainly. And that has been the Christian policy throughout the ages. Missionaries have brought the Gospel to pagan peoples and, if they converted, taught them to abandon their pagan practices such as head hunting, going naked, human sacrifice, etc. The behavior (polygamy) is not as stunningly unacceptable as these practices, but condoning or approving of it is nothing the church has been willing to do. It should be said that the church has compromised on the customs of some of these peoples when they did not touch upon a moral issue (for instance, in the look of the vestments worn by priests who ministered to these natives, but that is not the same thing.

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May I ask what you think is immoral with polygamy?

Jig said:

May I ask what you think is immoral with polygamy?

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It's considered by the Christian churches to be an infringement on everything that the Bible teaches concerning the Godly relationship between a man and a woman.

Albion said:

It's considered by the Christian churches to be an infringement on everything that the Bible teaches concerning the Godly relationship between a man and a woman.

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That wasn't very specific. I see some indication that monogamy is considered preferred in some contexts. However, this ideal cannot be contrasted to say that polygamy in general is always sinful. The OT regulated and allowed for polygamous marriages in the Mosaic Law. In fact, many of the most prominent Godly figures in the OT were practicing polygamists. Were they living in unrepentant sin? Sure, we see issues arise in these marriages, but we also see issues arise in monogamous marriages. Could you provide something more concrete?

Jig said:

That wasn't very specific.

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That's correct, but this isn't a thread about why Christianity is wrong on its teachings concerning marriage. Of course one that's dedicated to that proposition could always be started somewhere for the benefit of whoever wants to discuss it.

Razare said:

Yes. It would be.



Yes, that's correct.

The old man is dead. Whoever he/she was, was buried into Christ's death. That person no longer exists, the new man is not responsible for any of his covenants, commitments, and what have you. Marriage is a covenant, but having died, a person is freed from covenant.

Romans 6:8 (all of Romans 6)... Romans 7:2-4 ... Romans 13:8 ... 2 Corinthians 5:17

If you are presently married to a person when you die to the covenant between you, the obligation of love remains Romans 13:8. And because that obligation remains: 1 Corinthians 7:12-17

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Oh, I see. You're saying that if you're married as a non-Christian, then when you become a Christians that marriage covenant is null and void as you're not the person who entered into the marriage. Therefore coverts should divorce their spouse as they are not longer married to them. You have an interesting viewpoint.

Jig said:

May I ask what you think is immoral with polygamy?

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Polygamy is immoral in that it doesn't conform to God's design of marriage. Same reason homosexual marriages are immoral.

A murderer who is convicted of murder does not get out of prison simply because they repented of their sins. It doesn't make that person come back alive as well. Repent means that we change our lives and do what is right to God. Repenting of our sins and having the blood of Christ cover it means that God no longer sees the sin. However, the consequences still remain with us. Matthew 19 tells us the only cause for divorce is adultery. If we did not get divorced because our spouse cheating on us but got a divorced for any other reason, then we are in our sins. Regardless of how people want to twist it, we cannot get remarried if we divorce for any other reason then sexual immorality.

If you want to say, "We can do anything we want because the law of the land allows us to", if you are a child of God, you know that reason will never fly. We are to please God, not man.

Jig said:

Let us say you go to South America and bring the Gospel to a tribe in the rain forest. The chief of this tribe has three wives and he has children with each. He accepts the Gospel message and becomes born again. Do you make him divorce two of his wives?

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I think this is a different kind of question than some of the others here. In a situation like this there is no way to avoid problems. As they say in chess, there's no good move from a bad position. The OT tolerates polygamy. Jesus' teachings certainly assume monogamy. I wouldn't allow marrying more than one person. But I think in this case the least damage might well be caused by having him remain married to all three. Yes, this prevents him from getting some of the benefits that Jesus said God intended from marriage. But it also prevents causing damage to several other people.

curious mike said:

one christian told me today that when we became born again and accepted Jesus as our savior that we were made clean so whatever sins we had committed before then would be forgiven so we would be starting with a clean slate, would that be accurate? If the answer to that question is yes then that tells me that a man or woman who had gotten divorced prior to accepting Jesus, would be clear to remarry since he/she would be starting with a clean slate, is that correct or not please?

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Divorce is not necessarily a sin, seeing as God himself got divorced, "I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries." Jer 3:8

It's remarriage after divorce which is sin. For "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." Mk 10:11,12

curious mike said:

one christian told me today that when we became born again and accepted Jesus as our savior that we were made clean so whatever sins we had committed before then would be forgiven so we would be starting with a clean slate, would that be accurate? If the answer to that question is yes then that tells me that a man or woman who had gotten divorced prior to accepting Jesus, would be clear to remarry since he/she would be starting with a clean slate, is that correct or not please?

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Accepting Jesus as our savior doesn't give us a pass to sin gratuitously. We are still accountable for all our actions, even when we are saved. Nonetheless, Christians do make mistakes in life, one such mistake being a failed marriage. There aren't any Bible verses which state that forgiveness for divorced people is off limits, and I don't see why they wouldn't be free to remarry if they have genuinely repented.

Albion said:

That's correct, but this isn't a thread about why Christianity is wrong on its teachings concerning marriage. Of course one that's dedicated to that proposition could always be started somewhere for the benefit of whoever wants to discuss it.

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He means prove polygamy is immoral using only Scripture.