Dealing With People

The best thing is to do what is right for you. Who cares what other people say about your situation. Only you know the facts and the experiences you have are unique. I have come across people saying that they have been cured from prayers. chelation therapy, exorcism, vitamins, etc. Well, goodie for them!! As far as I know about my illness, I need my meds. I have been off my meds, taken vitamins, said prayers, and these all caused me to become ragingly psychotic. I no longer listen to other people's advice nor hypotheses about mental illness, except from my doctor. Mental illness is like having diabetes or high blood pressure. One needs medication to be stable. It is just like any other serious illness that can be managed by meds. I hate the labels of being called mentally ill, schizophrenic, etc. I am first a person, not an illness.

I was forced to accept that no one in all creation can understand my experiences (the way I experienced them or as I understand them). That includes my doctor, and sometimes I recognized that even I didn't understand it! Other people with the same names for their mental illnesses can't understand my experiences the way I experienced them, either. What does a few words (the name of a mental illness) tell you about someone? In my mind it triggers compassion, because I know how extreme the pain can be and the destruction of one's life that can happen.

It reminds me to be more accepting and not judge someone. What do I know about what has happened to a person to put them where they are? It also reminds me that I don't know what is best for them or what they "should do" to feel better. I pray for them, because God does know and will act. I just try to be kind.

So, why does the person have to be mentally ill for me to behave that way toward someone. What if the person's "mental illness" is not understanding mental illness? The following verse reminds me there are people that I can't understand and should definitely not judge. It also reminds me to have nothing to do with them:

But these men blaspheme in matters they do not understand. They are like brute beasts, creatures of instinct, born only to be caught and destroyed, and like beasts they too will perish. (bold mine, 2 Peter 2:12, 1984 NIV)

Unfortunately I find myself like them at times—which is even more reason to not judge them, but it is still hard not to.

However, God does truly understand us and what we have experienced—and is the only one that can. After being saved, God quickly became my go-to person to talk to about things. I knew he was the only one who could understand me. I didn't have to spend any time trying to explain what I meant.

One way I reduce the amount of prejudice I deal with is to just not talk about it, or avoid using words that trigger their prejudice. For example, instead of "mental illness" I might say "chemical imbalance" or in some contexts it is fine to just say "sick" or "ill." "Not feeling well" is often enough of an explanation even if you know more detail about what it is. "Therapy" is so common that the only people that think poorly of a person in therapy have bigger problems than me. At least I knew my problems and was getting help.

My best advice is stay away from those people. They are toxic. They are the same people who thought that Alzheimers was a form of demon possession. These types of people existed in every generation and they are not going anywhere. Avoid them like the plague. Just come and chill with us!

Is hard to avoid people and their views, judgement, crazy comments and all. Actually, it is impossible to detour from it. So, as distasteful as it may seem, we will have to deal with such people that cannot or will not understand mental illness.

It hate it. I know...it totally sucks. Nothing goes better with a conversation than a nice cup of coffee and a person that is giggling it up while saying, "oh come on...this is just a rough patch and you'll get over it- move on."

redblue22 said:

I'm not sure how to deal with many kinds of people and the things they say.

1. People who suffer mental illness who suddenly think they have solved their problem, but it seems pretty clear they have not solved it--or that there was no problem to begin with. I get bothered by their bragging and telling others how to no longer be mentally ill.

2. People who say there is no such thing as mental illness. Closely related is telling someone that no one right with the Lord has a mental illness. Counseling and medicine are the devil.

How do you deal with this kind of stuff? Or maybe there are other things that bother you? What are they?

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With regard to (2) I direct them to psycho-education literature so that they can educate themselves.

Unfortunately most times when people are dismissive of mental health issues they refuse to learn.

You can't help everyone

look4hope said:

Is hard to avoid people and their views, judgment, crazy comments and all. Actually, it is impossible to detour from it. So, as distasteful as it may seem, we will have to deal with such people that cannot or will not understand mental illness.

It hate it. I know...it totally sucks. Nothing goes better with a conversation than a nice cup of coffee and a person that is giggling it up while saying, "oh come on...this is just a rough patch and you'll get over it- move on."

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I guess what I do is I find a couple of people that I trust and talk to them about my problems. When others ask me how I am doing I say better then I deserve or something like that. It isn't a lie and it leaves no doors open for them to criticize.

@Justin1234

That's a simple yet effective way to keep those doors closed, unless you're a person that warms up to people way too quick. I don't know why it happens too often with me.

look4hope said:

@Justin1234

That's a simple yet effective way to keep those doors closed, unless you're a person that warms up to people way too quick. I don't know why it happens too often with me.

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I have found that it is possible to give the illusion that you are normal. I wouldn't say its closing the door off to all people. I would say it closes the door to most(sadly I feel that most people think they are doctors and can fix all of your problems with their infinite wisdom). I personally am miserable if I don't have anyone. It has taken a long time, but I have found people that don't diagnose me. They just love me. Anyway, I will be praying for you!