Hi guys,
My first thoughts started when I was 14 with a fear of being a lesbian, that didn't last too long. Then I had this thought 'I want to be possessed' and I want to become a satanist' and writing that now I laugh because it sounds so dumb. A few weeks ago though I asked God to reveal himself to me and was seeking him. Then this thought popped into my mind 'how did God come into existence'. Then it escalated to 'why can't I have the knowledge of God' and then 'I want to be God'. When I have a moment of clarity I know that God created me and I'm so thankful and I know that Jesus died for me. When I'm in the middle of all these thoughts and doubts it's so hard to distinguish what I actually believe. I have had moments where I ask for forgiveness and ask God to humble me and I feel so at peace and cry and then as soon as I wake up the next day the thoughts start again
. Everytime I read the bible or listen to Worksop I get these thoughts. I'm so scared that I actually think these thoughts. Ive even had thoughts 'I don't want to go to heaven'. Has anyone every experiences ones like them. Ocd is so scary.
My first thoughts started when I was 14 with a fear of being a lesbian, that didn't last too long. Then I had this thought 'I want to be possessed' and I want to become a satanist' and writing that now I laugh because it sounds so dumb. A few weeks ago though I asked God to reveal himself to me and was seeking him. Then this thought popped into my mind 'how did God come into existence'. Then it escalated to 'why can't I have the knowledge of God' and then 'I want to be God'. When I have a moment of clarity I know that God created me and I'm so thankful and I know that Jesus died for me. When I'm in the middle of all these thoughts and doubts it's so hard to distinguish what I actually believe. I have had moments where I ask for forgiveness and ask God to humble me and I feel so at peace and cry and then as soon as I wake up the next day the thoughts start again
. Everytime I read the bible or listen to Worksop I get these thoughts. I'm so scared that I actually think these thoughts. Ive even had thoughts 'I don't want to go to heaven'. Has anyone every experiences ones like them. Ocd is so scary.
