Fear of connection..

MotherFirefly said:

Of course, typing it all out is as easy as it gets. lol

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Amen!

MehGuy said:

Does anyone have a fear of getting close to others.. romantically.. etc?

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I was just thinking about this last night and figured out that I do. I went out on a handful of dates right after my divorce finalized, but now it's been almost two years since I've gone out. I chalk it up to being busy and focusing on finishing school, but in hindsight I think a big part of it is also fear.

When the time comes, l'll be ready.

The things you guys fear is real. There is a very real chance of rejection. And the pain and disappointment is real. And even if you marry her, there is always a chance of divorce.

However you do not need to fear. Because God is indeed with you. =)

If you never talked to you wife, you would never have married her. And your will never have those beautiful children. And you will never watch them grow up.

It is same as talking to non-believers about Jesus. Yes 99% of them will laugh at you or be mad at you, and they walk off. However if you never talk to any non-believers, how would you ever found that 1% that will come to faith because of you? If you never try you will always be at zero.

Now you got to use common sense and discern the lady. Is she a Christian? Is she a good fit for you? etc. However if you really want a GF, the only way is to go for it.

If you don't really want a GF, then yes you can sit back and do nothing. But you should be aware of your choice. So at least you won't regret, because hey you made that choice.

Travelers.Soul said:

Sometimes it is a little intimidating and being vulnerable with others can be a bit scary. However, overall I want to connect more than I fear any pain said connection may bring.

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This.

I think I am a bit scared just because I've never had to connect in that way, so I'm going to need someone who is really patient and understanding. Most guys probably wouldn't understand or want to go slow.

I think its only scary because we make it that way. We actually have an advantage as believers because we respect each other more. this is a topic we should not consider taboo, we need to be open about this more and engage in workshops. it's not about rejection, its about compatibility. we have to learn that if you are not compatible with someone, it's ok. but also, we shouldn't feel ashamed of ourselves if someone doesn't like us or feel pressured to change because of that. be yourself, be happy and content with yourself. if you can't be happy by yourself then you can't be happy with someone. not everyone likes the same flavor of ice cream and that's ok, it doesn't make you less of a person. so be confident with who God made you to be, be clear and straight forward about what you want (Communication is key to healthy relationships) and be content in all things. if we dealt with this in the church, we'd probably have better relationships in the body and there would be nothing to fear.

I get very uncomfortable being close to someone else. It may be my fear relating to my medical issues too but I generally don't like being touched and such. I used to.... I've gone so long without it that it feels unnatural to me now and it does make me sad

Yeah, I do. A big part of it is the fear of rejection. I'll admit that it's not right, though. I see a lot of the comments on this thread and I really feel bad for a lot of you guys. Unfortunately I also see a lot of myself in it. I can't judge anyone because I'm just as cynical.