Why are non-Christians allowed in Singles group?

Servant68 said:

I'm not complaining or condemning or judging. Just curious as to the reasoning. I am no theological expert, but I know that every church I've gone to has held that non-believers are not to be married ("yoked") with believers.

So, when a Christian site hosts a forum for single people and allows non-Christians to mingle with and potentially develop relationships with Christians, it seems to me that they are actually promoting the practice of Christians and non-Christians becoming unequally yoked.

Or am I way off base?

I see value in Christians and non-Christians interacting with each other in a spirit of openness and sharing. I see value in witnessing to others from different theological viewpoints and having open discussions.

But this is a forum for people based solely on their relationship status and I don't understand why a site that is seemingly based on a belief system that discourages such relationships would then create an atmosphere that seemingly encourages such relationships.

Don't get me wrong. If I was upset about it and felt that strongly about it, then I wouldn't be here. And I don't look down upon non-believers as unwashed scum who shouldn't be allowed to speak to me.

I have seen some truly great and rewarding discussions take place here because of the different belief systems allowed.

I've just always wondered about the whole believers and non-believers being unequally yoked thing and how that works with a singles forum on a Christian site...

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Yeah you're way off base.

If you all want to save these people so much then I advise you to do like Jesus and hang out with the sinners.

MehGuy said:

Yeah, a forum is much better than a traditional dating site for meeting someone IMO.

Only problem is we by and large live so far away from each other.

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That's true. Even when I was in the States I was still a good thousand miles away from the nearest CF'er.

I used to do forum meet ups with a bunch of guys from a powerlifting forum. We would all gather up in London a few times a year and do deadlifts and beer.

Yeah, fun times. It was also quite interesting how the loudest members on the boards were the most quiet in real life.

MehGuy said:

This isn't a dating site in theory. Although I've had a few Christian women want to actually meet me up in real life. So I guess I am a dangerous wolf among sheep, lol.

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Maybe he is afflicted by the evil eye of envy?

He sees Christian women here more interested in the non-believers then himself as a Christian xD

Eannie Soul said:

Non-Christians are allowed to be in Single Groups because there are many cases of divorce due to lack of trust and mostly love so having non-Christians to actually be in this single group is to understand the true meaning of marriage under God's Guidance.

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Eannie Soul said:

there are numerous cases of separation of marriages.
there are numerous cases of adultery.
My conclusion is that God is missing from their marriage.
No offense but this might happen a lot to people who rejected God or never believed that God exist.
Having a Non-Christian join the Single Group is to allow Christians ......................... i am definitely not talking about fixing ................ but give spiritual advice and example on how they could find an healthy relationship with God first before finding what they hoped for?

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This is just....wow.

I'm so glad I'm here to be an example for you all of someone who apparently isn't capable of a successful marriage...

EyesOfKohl said:

Maybe he is afflicted by the evil eye of envy?

He sees Christian women here more interested in the non-believers then himself as a Christian xD

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Yeah, one girl was freaking out.. "oh no! I'm falling in love with an atheist!" Lol.

As far as me, I don't care much, other than the problems raising children as long as a Christian isn't a fundamentalist, I don't see much of a problem. I'm not going to forgo being with a cool chick just because she happens to be a theist. I think most atheists feel this way. Even a Youtuber who is known falsely to be smug against believers ended up dating a Christian, although she later became an atheist.

I will copy and paste the singles forum statement of purpose and that may help you understand. And a thumbs up to MehGuy for chasing the ladies and breaking hearts, I knew you had it in ya.



Singles Forum Statement of Purpose

The purpose of our Singles forum is to have a unique place for our single members to fellowship and encourage one another, and to discuss faith, life, and issues related to being single. Posting is restricted to single members 18 and older.

In addition to the site wide rules (found here), please take the following guidelines to heart while posting in the Singles forum:

We want to see everyone treated well here with all posts having a foundation of love and unity in Christ. This focus can get lost when folks make sweeping generalizations about groups of people. Generalizations are comments such as "men are like this", and "women are like that". When speaking in general terms, please use the word "some" ("some women/men _______."), so that it isn't a negative, sweeping generalization.

How to deal with addiction to inappropriate contentography, masturbation, and other sexual issues are limited to the Struggles with Sexuality forum, or the Men's inappropriate contentography Addiction forum. You can find controversial topics of health as related to human sexuality in the Men's Health forum and Women's Health forum. Topics of sex or premarital sex are off topic and will not be discussed or promoted in the singles forum. Singles* is a PG-13 forum, which means that you should not make sexual innuendoes or post sexually explicit images or comments.

References to or insinuations of the promotion of alternative lifestyles is also considered off topic in the singles forum. Please remember that homosexuality can only be discussed, without promotion, in Christian Communities and Faith Groups. Homosexuality may also be discussed in the Recovery and Ask a Chaplain forums.


Tips and suggestions for love and unity in the Singles forum:

Try to focus on current issues and the topic at hand, rather than rehashing old issues.

When someone shares a personal experience, allow them to feel heard even if you disagree.

If you're unsure about what someone means in a post, ask for clarification. It's better than jumping to conclusions and keeps hearts open to discussion.

Be clear about what in the post is unclear to you. Represent postings with accuracy, asking for clarification when needed.

Keep the discussion on topic. If you think your response could derail a thread discussion, please start a new thread.

As this is a Christian message board, we want to post in a manner that is respectful of both Christ and other members.

At times moderators may choose to close a thread or remove a post that is deemed off topic or inappropriate.

Thanks for making this a great forum for all our singles here on CF

MehGuy said:

As far as me, I don't care much, other than the problems raising children as long as a Christian isn't a fundamentalist, I don't see much of a problem. I'm not going to forgo being with a cool chick just because she happens to be a theist. I think most atheists feel this way.

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Yep. I have no problem with marrying a Christian or someone from pretty much any other religion. The only imminent obstacle I see is that they'll probably want a Christian marriage ceremony, but I'm not willing to lie my way through that whole process. I didn't feel bad about lying my way through Confirmation because that's a one-person deal. A marriage, on the other hand...

Eannie Soul said:

Non-Christians are allowed to be in Single Groups because there are many cases of divorce due to lack of trust and mostly love so having non-Christians to actually be in this single group is to understand the true meaning of marriage under God's Guidance.

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So... True Christians™ don't get divorced?

I read a study not too long ago, that pointed to atheists going through less divorces than Christians, all other things being equal. The reasons varied. That might be one of those ''inconvenient truths.''

Darth Bagel said:

Well, Singles isn't supposed to be thought of as a dating site. It's just a place where we can all interact. There are several sections of the forum that permit non-Christians to engage with the group.

I would bet 95% of us on here aren't here because we're trying to find someone to date, we're all just living the single life and connecting with other people who do the same.

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BINGO. I'll also second what EyesofKohl said about non-Christians being longtime posters here in Singles, this forum would be missing something without him and the other non-Christian members.

ReesePiece23 said:

Dating sites SHOULD be like this though. It's much better to have a medium platform to go from, rather than jump straight in with IM's to nobody.

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You might be onto something here. I checked out a Real Life "Singles Group", which turned out to be mostly a scam, but the principle was essentially "Meet and do stuff together."

Darth Bagel said:

So... True Christians™ don't get divorced?

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This conversation reminds me of a thread I made about this one time, I was small group one day and this girl said something to the effect of "Non-Christians are incapable of loving another person because they don't know God's love, and that's why we have a high divorce rate"

Here's my OP:

TX_Matt said:

So, I went back to my old Life Group last night just to kinda see what it was like now...it's full of freshman.

Anyway, we were discussing Sermon on the Mount, specifically divorce. This girl talks about how she's a tutor and most of her kids' parents are divorced. She goes on to say that most of them aren't Christians, I understood that. Then she made quite a claim...

People who are not Christians are not capable of actually loving another person because they don't know God's love. Thus, why we have such a high divorce rate because the love they feel isn't real love.


My personal thought was HOLD THE FRONT DOOR. I'm pretty the divorce rate in he church is just as high as outside, if not higher, so don't act like it's only their problem or their fault, I think everyone's to blame. Secondly, so only Christians can be charitable, have life long marriages, have a desire to help people in need, etc.


No one really responded to her statement, so I don't know if they agreed with her or was in the same position of "um no, I think you're misunderstanding something", but didn't want to start an argument.

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Christians don't really have a monopoly on anything despite when "contemporary" evangelicals try to make it seem that way. Christians are subject to every single thing that non-believers are subject to in this fallen world i.e. divorce, money problems, depression, illnesses and diseases... Save for few things like demonic possession, Christians don't have an "easier way" in this life; I would argue that they have it harder because now they are fighting against the world, the flesh, and the Devil, whereas non-believers aren't really in a fight with those three things.

Darth Bagel said:

So... True Christians™ don't get divorced?

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Everyone knows that divorce only happens when you let Satan win! #Duggars

Servant68 said:

I'm not complaining or condemning or judging. Just curious as to the reasoning. I am no theological expert, but I know that every church I've gone to has held that non-believers are not to be married ("yoked") with believers.

So, when a Christian site hosts a forum for single people and allows non-Christians to mingle with and potentially develop relationships with Christians, it seems to me that they are actually promoting the practice of Christians and non-Christians becoming unequally yoked.

Or am I way off base?

I see value in Christians and non-Christians interacting with each other in a spirit of openness and sharing. I see value in witnessing to others from different theological viewpoints and having open discussions.

But this is a forum for people based solely on their relationship status and I don't understand why a site that is seemingly based on a belief system that discourages such relationships would then create an atmosphere that seemingly encourages such relationships.

Don't get me wrong. If I was upset about it and felt that strongly about it, then I wouldn't be here. And I don't look down upon non-believers as unwashed scum who shouldn't be allowed to speak to me.

I have seen some truly great and rewarding discussions take place here because of the different belief systems allowed.

I've just always wondered about the whole believers and non-believers being unequally yoked thing and how that works with a singles forum on a Christian site...

Click to expand...

You are very right in with that statement. Christians are not to be unequally yoked: 2 Corinthians 6:14 - What does life (Jesus being the Way, Truth and Life) have with death (those who do not believe are dead in God's sight, unless they have a change of heart)?
No matter how it is looked at it doesn't make sense.

However, I wouldn't go so far as to blame a site for individual actions/decisions. Jesus said: John 14:15
Anyone willing to seek His face and His Kingdom - which is His character - loves Him. It's really up to us since He's made us in His image, He has also given us free will; to love Him means to obey and to obey means to love Him.

Yes, I agree with you here as well: I see value in this opportunity ("mingling" with unbelievers) because it gives us a chance to be that example of Christian life to those that even may be seeking. Of course, God does the work so no man can boast: Ephesians 2:8-9
So, you're not off base with your questions or reasoning You have the right of it in both aspects.

Servant68 said:

I'm not complaining or condemning or judging. Just curious as to the reasoning. I am no theological expert, but I know that every church I've gone to has held that non-believers are not to be married ("yoked") with believers.

So, when a Christian site hosts a forum for single people and allows non-Christians to mingle with and potentially develop relationships with Christians, it seems to me that they are actually promoting the practice of Christians and non-Christians becoming unequally yoked.

Or am I way off base?

I see value in Christians and non-Christians interacting with each other in a spirit of openness and sharing. I see value in witnessing to others from different theological viewpoints and having open discussions.

But this is a forum for people based solely on their relationship status and I don't understand why a site that is seemingly based on a belief system that discourages such relationships would then create an atmosphere that seemingly encourages such relationships.

Don't get me wrong. If I was upset about it and felt that strongly about it, then I wouldn't be here. And I don't look down upon non-believers as unwashed scum who shouldn't be allowed to speak to me.

I have seen some truly great and rewarding discussions take place here because of the different belief systems allowed.

I've just always wondered about the whole believers and non-believers being unequally yoked thing and how that works with a singles forum on a Christian site...

Click to expand...

This isn't a Christians only part of the site, so there's no reason to exclude non-Christians from participating here. Also, as others noted, this board isn't a dating site.

And while the "unequally yoked" thing is a common view in many Christian circles, not all Christians are of that opinion; not because we do not believe the relevant biblical text, but because the text itself says nothing about romantic relationships. There are, however, good common sense reasons why interfaith relationships can be more trouble than they are worth; but these would apply not only to interfaith relationships but even to inter-denominational relationships. This is even doubly true of marriage, e.g. a Catholic and a Baptist date, get engaged, and finally get married, where do they go to church at? They have kids, the Catholic parent wants their children to be baptized Catholics, the Baptist parent rejects infant baptism altogether. Whether or not a Christian should be in a relationship with someone who isn't a Christian is a perfectly acceptable discussion I think, and one worth having; but the Scriptural proof text given for forbidding it, I'd argue, is an act of bad exegesis or even just eisegesis.

-CryptoLutheran

Deidre32 said:

I read a study not too long ago, that pointed to atheists going through less divorces than Christians, all other things being equal. The reasons varied. That might be one of those ''inconvenient truths.''

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The statistic I've encountered most often is that, in the United States, the highest rate of divorce is among Evangelicals. I could offer speculations (and observations) as to why that might be the case, but I think that's probably a discussion for another time and place.

-CryptoLutheran

MehGuy said:

Yeah, one girl was freaking out.. "oh no! I'm falling in love with an atheist!" Lol.

As far as me, I don't care much, other than the problems raising children as long as a Christian isn't a fundamentalist, I don't see much of a problem. I'm not going to forgo being with a cool chick just because she happens to be a theist. I think most atheists feel this way. Even a Youtuber who is known falsely to be smug against believers ended up dating a Christian, although she later became an atheist.

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This goes out to MehGuy, you heart breaker.......

This part of the forum isn't restricted to Christians only. And dating is not encouraged. I heard rumors when I first joined of a girl on here trying to meet with people from here and sleep with them and she was one of the Christians! I got a pm from someone warning me that she was crazy and on the prowl. So weird if that was true. I think that if you are easily swayed by a forum member to abandon your morals or faith; then they weren't that strong to begin with.

Cearbhall said:

Yep. I have no problem with marrying a Christian or someone from pretty much any other religion. The only imminent obstacle I see is that they'll probably want a Christian marriage ceremony, but I'm not willing to lie my way through that whole process. I didn't feel bad about lying my way through Confirmation because that's a one-person deal. A marriage, on the other hand...

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I'm not so sure that I could marry someone who followed another religion, but I'd have no problem marrying an atheist or agnostic. Looking for a Christian partner hasn't worked out for me, so a shared religious belief is still a preference but no longer a specific criterion.

And I'd have no problem getting married in a civil ceremony. To me, the whole wedding process feels a lot like you're putting on a show for other people and many things are just done because that's what's supposed to be done when you get married. I'd much rather keep it simple and cheap, and spend the money that we would have spent on the wedding on ourselves rather than other people.

But being the groom, my opinion might count for very little...

MehGuy said:

Yeah, a forum is much better than a traditional dating site for meeting someone IMO.

Only problem is we by and large live so far away from each other.

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Here here! At least I might be moving somewhere to middle Earth soon (literally, the middle of Earth, not in NZ Lord of the Rings). So it won't be too far if I need to meet someone in East Russia or Japan or anyone in the Eastern seaboard of North America.

Europe is just few steps away and I could easily blend in with the Syrian refugees even without papers as long as I can learn to write and speak fluent Arabic!