Not sure where or what to post, but my problem is I miss the relationship, closeness I had when I was first saved. I used to have dreams, visions, feel Gods presence, hear His voice. The closeness is gone, I know He is still there but it is not the same. Not sure what to do, did I cause this? Maybe not expecting an answer just feel lost.
2 Corinthians 5:7
7 For we walk by faith, not by sight.
Have you ever thought about what this means? The Old Testament gives some great examples of what this sort of living is like. One of the best examples is, unfortunately, a negative one. You can read all about it in
Numbers 13 & 14. When the Israelites came to the borders of the Promised Land, the land that God had said was theirs, twelve spies were sent in to check it out. Of the twelve, only two gave an encouraging report. The rest doubted God and His promise and said the land could not be taken by the Israelites. The cities were huge, the people were many, and there were giant Anak in Canaan, too. Rather than believe God's promise, the Israelites were made afraid by the report of the ten spies, and despaired of the future, and began to wonder if going back to the bondage of Egypt might be an option. Can you believe that? These same Israelites had lived through the miraculous exodus from Egypt, had witnessed the parting of the Red Sea, the pillar of cloud and fire moving with them as they journeyed to Canaan, the daily supernatural provision of mana and yet they
still doubted the care and power of Jehovah. Incredible! As a result, that doubting generation of Israelites was made to wander and die in the wilderness.
Christians are often just like the Israelites of old. They doubt God, too. They look around at the World and themselves and doubt that what God has said about Himself and about them is true. You see, every believer has a spiritual "Promised Land" that is theirs in Christ. But few fully enter into it because they go with what they feel, and see, and hear rather than with what God has said. Every believer is in Christ:
2 Corinthians 5:17
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
Romans 6:11-12
11 Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
12 Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts.
Romans 8:2
2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.
Colossians 3:3-4
3 For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
4 When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.
Galatians 2:20
20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
We have the "spirit of Christ" (
Romans 8:9, 10) who lives within us and in whom we live. In Christ we find our salvation (
1 John 5:11, 12), we find freedom from the power of sin (
Romans 6:6, 7), we find transformation (
2 Corinthians 5:17), we find the power to live "godly in Christ Jesus" (
Philippians 1:21; 2:13).
Many Christians, however, are encouraged and taught to think that if they don't feel God and see Him manifesting in some unusual way (miracles, sensations, high emotions, tongues, etc.) there is something wrong with their Christian experience. Nothing, though, could be farther from the truth. At some point, if our faith is to be strengthened and matured, if we are going to really enter into the Promised Land we have in Christ, we must stop walking by sight - by signs and "special" experiences of God - and instead walk
by faith. "God has said," should be enough. Even when all my experiences, and feelings, and thoughts contradict what God has said, I am still to simply trust Him and to step out in faith on the basis of what He has said is true. The Israelites on the borders of Canaan didn't do this and they ended up wandering in the wilderness until they died.
So, stop worrying about what you do or don't feel. God has made each of His children a promise that He will "never leave them nor forsake them." (
Hebrews 13:5) Do you believe it? Maybe, though, the problem is that it is the experiences and feelings you crave. Your present "dry spell" is, perhaps, revealing this. God isn't your experiences and feelings. Don't make the mistake of confusing them for Him. God is still just as real, just as powerful, and just as present even when you don't have any feeling or experience to prove it. Trusting that this is so against what your feelings and experience may indicate is what "walking by faith" is.
Have you read Hebrews 11? It communicates a great deal about what real faith looks like. It isn't what is commonly held up by many modern believers as faith:
Hebrews 11:13
13 These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.
Hebrews 11:35-40
35...And others were tortured, not accepting deliverance, that they might obtain a better resurrection.
36 Still others had trial of mockings and scourgings, yes, and of chains and imprisonment.
37 They were stoned, they were sawn in two, were tempted, were slain with the sword. They wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented--
38 of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and mountains, in dens and caves of the earth.
39 And all these, having obtained a good testimony through faith, did not receive the promise,
40 God having provided something better for us, that they should not be made perfect apart from us.
Rather different than those today who chase constantly after supernatural validations of God's presence and power, eh? Even in the absence of the fulfillment of God's promise, these heroes of the faith continued to trust Him. How about you? Will you let go of the need for special feelings and experiences and simply trust God? Will you by faith go deeper with God and enter into the spiritual Promised Land in Christ that is yours? Or will you be like so many these days who never feel sure of their relationship with God unless they are doing or experiencing something unusual and intense?
One other thing: It is almost always the case that when a believer feels God has moved away from them it is that they have moved away from Him. And when people do this, when they move away from God, sin is always in some way in the mix. The remedy for sin, thankfully, is simple:
1 John 1:9
9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
The great thing about being God's child, though, is that even when we stray, He comes after us like the Good Shepherd He is and by His goodness draws us back to Himself. (
Romans 2:4) God will let us feel the distance our waywardness and self-centeredness causes between ourselves and Him, but He does not remain passive, demanding that we must always move toward Him. If God were like this, none of us would ever have been saved. Thank God, He pursues us, and woos us to Himself, and does not wait for us to be good enough, to be faithful enough, to be strong enough to walk rightly with Him.
Selah.