what are you feeling right now? (23)

Today I was on-board an emotional roller coaster, all over the place, but at least I'm feeling again both good and bad is much better than nothing.

I think being in a state of not feeling, of feeling good, and of feeling evil are all beneficial for our growth as second adams.

maybe it is like going through different parts of the world which have different environments.

the places that God has prepared for all of us are endless, may we we find ourselves through it all and may we give ourselves to God who gives himself to us. he will wipe away all tears from our face, thank God that he makes our earthly lives worth it.

we might walk through hell and conquer it and not even know how much destruction we left behind us, for that is the power of God. who endures but those who are in Gods hands?

Isa 41:4-18 (YLT)
Who hath wrought and done, Calling the generations from the first? I, Jehovah, the first, and with the last I am He. Seen have isles and fear, ends of the earth tremble, They have drawn near, yea, they come. Each his neighbour they help, And to his brother he saith, `Be strong.' And strengthen doth an artisan the refiner, A smoother with a hammer, Him who is beating on an anvil, Saying, `For joining it is good,' And he strengtheneth it with nails, it is not moved! --And thou, O Israel, My servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, Seed of Abraham, My lover, Whom I have taken hold of, from the ends of the earth, And from its near places I have called thee, And I say to thee, My servant Thou art , I have chosen thee, and not rejected thee. Be not afraid, for with thee I am , Look not around, for I am thy God, I have strengthened thee, Yea, I have helped thee, yea, I upheld thee, With the right hand of My righteousness. Lo, all those displeased with thee, They are ashamed and blush, They are as nothing, yea, perish Do the men who strive with thee. Thou seekest them, and findest them not, The men who debate with thee, They are as nothing, yea, as nothing, The men who war with thee. For I, Jehovah thy God, Am strengthening thy right hand, He who is saying to thee, `Fear not, I have helped thee.' Fear not, O worm Jacob, ye men of Israel, I helped thee, an affirmation of Jehovah, Even thy redeemer, the Holy One of Israel. Lo, I have set thee for a new sharp threshing instrument, Possessing teeth, thou threshest mountains, And beatest small, and hills as chaff thou makest. Thou winnowest them, and a wind lifteth them up, And a whirlwind scattereth them, And thou--thou rejoicest in Jehovah, In the Holy One of Israel dost boast thyself. The poor and the needy are seeking water, And there is none, Their tongue with thirst hath failed, I, Jehovah do answer them, The God of Israel--I forsake them not. I open on high places rivers, And in midst of valleys fountains, I make a wilderness become a pond of water, And a dry land become springs of water.

Noxot said:

I think being in a state of not feeling, of feeling good, and of feeling evil are all beneficial for our growth as second adams.

maybe it is like going through different parts of the world which have different environments.

the places that God has prepared for all of us are endless, may we we find ourselves through it all and may we give ourselves to God who gives himself to us. he will wipe away all tears from our face, thank God that he makes our earthly lives worth it.

we might walk through hell and conquer it and not even know how much destruction we left behind us, for that is the power of God. who endures but those who are in Gods hands?

Isa 41:4-18 (YLT)
Who hath wrought and done, Calling the generations from the first? I, Jehovah, the first, and with the last I am He. Seen have isles and fear, ends of the earth tremble, They have drawn near, yea, they come. Each his neighbour they help, And to his brother he saith, `Be strong.' And strengthen doth an artisan the refiner, A smoother with a hammer, Him who is beating on an anvil, Saying, `For joining it is good,' And he strengtheneth it with nails, it is not moved! --And thou, O Israel, My servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, Seed of Abraham, My lover, Whom I have taken hold of, from the ends of the earth, And from its near places I have called thee, And I say to thee, My servant Thou art , I have chosen thee, and not rejected thee. Be not afraid, for with thee I am , Look not around, for I am thy God, I have strengthened thee, Yea, I have helped thee, yea, I upheld thee, With the right hand of My righteousness. Lo, all those displeased with thee, They are ashamed and blush, They are as nothing, yea, perish Do the men who strive with thee. Thou seekest them, and findest them not, The men who debate with thee, They are as nothing, yea, as nothing, The men who war with thee. For I, Jehovah thy God, Am strengthening thy right hand, He who is saying to thee, `Fear not, I have helped thee.' Fear not, O worm Jacob, ye men of Israel, I helped thee, an affirmation of Jehovah, Even thy redeemer, the Holy One of Israel. Lo, I have set thee for a new sharp threshing instrument, Possessing teeth, thou threshest mountains, And beatest small, and hills as chaff thou makest. Thou winnowest them, and a wind lifteth them up, And a whirlwind scattereth them, And thou--thou rejoicest in Jehovah, In the Holy One of Israel dost boast thyself. The poor and the needy are seeking water, And there is none, Their tongue with thirst hath failed, I, Jehovah do answer them, The God of Israel--I forsake them not. I open on high places rivers, And in midst of valleys fountains, I make a wilderness become a pond of water, And a dry land become springs of water.

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Dear brother I can't agree more, eternal life doesn't start at the end of our earthly life, but starts when we find life in the truth of God - time and again. Only His Truth is eternal, only with Him and in Him our adventure has no ending and no boundaries.

The wilderness in my life is in full bloom and producing abundance of good fruit to eat. His truth literally growing me into eternity. I find that so amazing - each time again - the vastness that is Him and the space for originality - God made no mistakes making any of us that much I know for certain.

We are so blessed to know Him.

I've been feeling a lot of anxiety and sadness the last few days, especially the anxiety has been persistent. Still sleeping through the night though so that is great.

I don't know how long this emotional roller coaster is going to last, it is not always pleasant but so far it is the best results I've ever had when someone has been dealing with my psychosis and depression and I have so much more energy.

Still sugar free though, I get sick from the stuff now and think I might leave it out of my diet for good.

Hoping everybody is okay.

This evening I will take part in an activity ,which is about praying for Muslim. it is a weird feeling.

Wish you all a blessed day!

Yusuphhai said:

This evening I will take part in an activity ,which is about praying for Muslim. it is a weird feeling.

Wish you all a blessed day!

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Good on you! I hope your prayers will be fruitful.

How have you been brother?

Discouraged. In the past week I gained 5.4 pounds and lost my job. I know God is in control and I really don't want to stress about things. But the good news is that over the weekend I didn't once have an episode of crying. Besides after losing my job, that is.

LoyalToGod said:

Thank you for allowing me to vent, but I doubt I'll find anyone who is trustworthy, except for God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.

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I've felt that way and felt discouraged in the beginning, but God led me to people who healed my deep distrust in others through other people whom I've never thought could be counted on before. God always seems to use other people when I get hurt by someone. Sorry for being preachy!

FlaviusAetius said:

Tried to entertain myself with a game that should have been a stress free and nothing but fun. Of course losing to the computer over and over left me crying at my own worthless.

I'm 24 living like a 13 year old. I'm the weakest link at my job, my body feels like I'm 70 with bone cancer especially in my knees, I can't enjoy anything at all, and every passing day I feel like training to become a teacher is the biggest mistake of my life and that I'll be an awful teacher.

I'm sick of life, of being worthless and a parasite. I don't feel this is normal, I'm an abnormal waste of flesh. I can't even live to make myself happy.

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I think if you were someone who never loses temper at children, why not go for it? There is a difference between rightful discipline and hurtful anger.

I thought you mentioned majoring in history was worthless, but I have a useless bs with my condition which may last forever. I would've majored in history if I didn't have these conditions. I've met high school (maybe drop out) graduates who claimed college graduates were worthless and have been hurt by them. After I've met more people through life, I've come to realize it's simply a shame to be recognized as having no degrees and to be justifying it without saying much. (I've come across great high school graduates, too, but they've never justified it or bullied college graduates who were never bragging.)

Best regards,

heaLsEarch

I'm doing really good at the moment, yesterday as well. Been busy.


How is everybody?

Glad you are doing better Jeshu. Well wishes to all of you. I am on a new med. for a new diagnosis-binge eating disorder. I got really annoyed tonight but I guess I can get annoyed in general. The med is called Topamax and it's an anti convulsive. It's making me kind of tired so far. I'm waiting for that to wear off. Hopefully it will. I hope everyone has a good rest of the week. Blessings to you all!!

The Staphysagria has been doing wonders friends. I recommend anyone who has suffered from trauma to use this remedy, under trained supervision of course. Very powerful. I have been taking it for a month now and had to reduce to dosage by 50 percent because my emotions just run wild on the higher dosage, but nevertheless it is slowly bit by bit putting me back together again. Isn't that amazing? And no other side effects whatsoever.

Within hours of taking it I began to cycle through all kind of suppressed emotions especially about the severe trauma I suffered as a kid. Gently at first, but more and more persistent, burning emotions as if I had been badly hurt or was grieving, also an incredible amount of anxiety, feelings of powerless, disgusted, hate, hopeless, captivation, being overcome, helpless, useless, weak, wrong, bad, the list goes on. I was amazed how many feelings I had suppressed which were directly associated with my trauma.

I also went through a lot of the decision I made as a child directly after the trauma, and redid them. I was a kid badly hurt and very angry and frightened, my choices reflected this that is for sure. A more mature and much more securely loved and loving heart placing all these raw emotions into the right place, realigning them to my way of seeing and understanding things and moving on.

All in all it has been a very trialling and emotional time. Especially the anxiety got really bad and took days to run itself out. It was hard not to get court up by my feelings at times, but usually the cycling helped that along. When I thought it wasn't going to work and I was just going to go mad because my emotions were running wild again did it all stop.

For not only did I suppress my emotions when I was assaulted as a kid but also as a direct result of my psychoses - wild, highly strung emotions always preluded total madness, so for years I suppressed my emotions when I was manic because I was sacred I was going to go mad if I didn't. I think an enormous amount of damage has been done there as well.

However yesterday the cycling stopped and I have had no more anxiety nor painful emotions. Today I feel stable, warm, energetic and raring to go. I went for a 4 kilometer hike through the estuary - a beautiful nature resort - I haven't done that for ages, and never on my own, but I really enjoyed it and wasn't even exhausted when I came home.

The process is still going on but much more subtly and on the back ground. Slowly my emotions are starting to come back. True I've got a long way to go and it is not all good sometimes my emotions still tear/rip through my being - I'm not really sure why that happens, I do suppress such feelings because it is impossible to handle such frequencies, they drive me manic and ultimately psychotic, I'll have to talk about this with my health professional when I see her next.

Maybe I have to increase my dosage again.

Also I have lost almost 8 kilos - about 18 pounds - in the process of going sugarless. I never want to use sugar again, life is so much easier this way - all my bad food habits died after I stopped craving for sugar and I eat much less than before all around without doing anything for it. However be warned it is difficult to quit sugar - I craved it for about 3 weeks, especially the first week was terrible, the week after that much easier and after that easier still.

Now I feel sick when I use sugar and get a bad head ache. I'm done with it. So if you decide to go sugarless make sure that you have plenty of alternative sweet things to munch on, I ate a lot of bananas - they have good sugars - and chocolate made with alternative sweeteners - and increased weight instead of losing any in the first few weeks. However once the sugar craving stop then food cravings stop as well, or at least that is how it went with me.

I don't drink any fruit juices either, not even 100 percent juice, nor did I use any yeast at all, in an attempt to kill the Candida. I do use bone broth to try and help repair my leaky gut. After this process has been completed I will in earnest begin to use probiotics as part of my diet.

I'm so excited because I know for sure that Jesus is healing me from my mental illness. I feel so much better within myself, but none of these manic or psychotic symptoms like before, I'm breaking free from my trauma and have broken free from my psychoses, I think the depression will sort itself out now this has taken place.

Praise the Lord.

Jeshu said:

The Staphysagria has been doing wonders friends. I recommend anyone who has suffered from trauma to use this remedy, under trained supervision of course. Very powerful. I have been taking it for a month now and had to reduce to dosage by 50 percent because my emotions just run wild on the higher dosage, but nevertheless it is slowly bit by bit putting me back together again. Isn't that amazing? And no other side effects whatsoever.

Within hours of taking it I began to cycle through all kind of suppressed emotions especially about the severe trauma I suffered as a kid. Gently at first, but more and more persistent, burning emotions as if I had been badly hurt or was grieving, also an incredible amount of anxiety, feelings of powerless, disgusted, hate, hopeless, captivation, being overcome, helpless, useless, weak, wrong, bad, the list goes on. I was amazed how many feelings I had suppressed which were directly associated with my trauma.

I also went through a lot of the decision I made as a child directly after the trauma, and redid them. I was a kid badly hurt and very angry and frightened, my choices reflected this that is for sure. A more mature and much more securely loved and loving heart placing all these raw emotions into the right place, realigning them to my way of seeing and understanding things and moving on.

All in all it has been a very trialling and emotional time. Especially the anxiety got really bad and took days to run itself out. It was hard not to get court up by my feelings at times, but usually the cycling helped that along. When I thought it wasn't going to work and I was just going to go mad because my emotions were running wild again did it all stop.

For not only did I suppress my emotions when I was assaulted as a kid but also as a direct result of my psychoses - wild, highly strung emotions always preluded total madness, so for years I suppressed my emotions when I was manic because I was sacred I was going to go mad if I didn't. I think an enormous amount of damage has been done there as well.

However yesterday the cycling stopped and I have had no more anxiety nor painful emotions. Today I feel stable, warm, energetic and raring to go. I went for a 4 kilometer hike through the estuary - a beautiful nature resort - I haven't done that for ages, and never on my own, but I really enjoyed it and wasn't even exhausted when I came home.

The process is still going on but much more subtly and on the back ground. Slowly my emotions are starting to come back. True I've got a long way to go and it is not all good sometimes my emotions still tear/rip through my being - I'm not really sure why that happens, I do suppress such feelings because it is impossible to handle such frequencies, they drive me manic and ultimately psychotic, I'll have to talk about this with my health professional when I see her next.

Maybe I have to increase my dosage again.

Also I have lost almost 8 kilos - about 18 pounds - in the process of going sugarless. I never want to use sugar again, life is so much easier this way - all my bad food habits died after I stopped craving for sugar and I eat much less than before all around without doing anything for it. However be warned it is difficult to quit sugar - I craved it for about 3 weeks, especially the first week was terrible, the week after that much easier and after that easier still.

Now I feel sick when I use sugar and get a bad head ache. I'm done with it. So if you decide to go sugarless make sure that you have plenty of alternative sweet things to munch on, I ate a lot of bananas - they have good sugars - and chocolate made with alternative sweeteners - and increased weight instead of losing any in the first few weeks. However once the sugar craving stop then food cravings stop as well, or at least that is how it went with me.

I don't drink any fruit juices either, not even 100 percent juice, nor did I use any yeast at all, in an attempt to kill the Candida. I do use bone broth to try and help repair my leaky gut. After this process has been completed I will in earnest begin to use probiotics as part of my diet.

I'm so excited because I know for sure that Jesus is healing me from my mental illness. I feel so much better within myself, but none of these manic or psychotic symptoms like before, I'm breaking free from my trauma and have broken free from my psychoses, I think the depression will sort itself out now this has taken place.

Praise the Lord.

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18 pounds is significant weight loss, Gerry. I am so happy for you. I also know the awesome experience of being healed. In my case, not so much healed from depression but learning real coping skills using his Word via affirmation and memorization without the use of drugs.

Press On said:

18 pounds is significant weight loss, Gerry. I am so happy for you. I also know the awesome experience of being healed. In my case, not so much healed from depression but learning real coping skills using his Word via affirmation and memorization without the use of drugs.

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I do know about that healing as well Ron, Jesus took me and is taking me through that process. Isn't the word absolutely awesome? It has the power to free us from our demons, all of this is mainly spiritual though but has an enormous effect on our physical being.

Take this prophecy for example, my world of being is seeing these words fulfilled even now.

Joel 3
“In those days and at that time,
when I restore the fortunes of Judah and Jerusalem,
I will gather all nations
and bring them down to the Valley of Jehoshaphat.
There I will put them on trial
for what they did to my inheritance, my people Israel,
because they scattered my people among the nations
and divided up my land.
They cast lots for my people
and traded boys for prostitutes;
they sold girls for wine to drink.

“Now what have you against me, Tyre and Sidon and all you regions of Philistia? Are you repaying me for something I have done? If you are paying me back, I will swiftly and speedily return on your own heads what you have done. For you took my silver and my gold and carried off my finest treasures to your temples. You sold the people of Judah and Jerusalem to the Greeks, that you might send them far from their homeland.


“See, I am going to rouse them out of the places to which you sold them, and I will return on your own heads what you have done. I will sell your sons and daughters to the people of Judah, and they will sell them to the Sabeans, a nation far away.” The Lord has spoken.


Proclaim this among the nations:
Prepare for war!
Rouse the warriors!
Let all the fighting men draw near and attack.
Beat your plowshares into swords
and your pruning hooks into spears.
Let the weakling say,
“I am strong!”
Come quickly, all you nations from every side,
and assemble there.

Bring down your warriors, Lord!


“Let the nations be roused;
let them advance into the Valley of Jehoshaphat,
for there I will sit
to judge all the nations on every side.
Swing the sickle,
for the harvest is ripe.
Come, trample the grapes,
for the winepress is full
and the vats overflow—
so great is their wickedness!”


Multitudes, multitudes
in the valley of decision!
For the day of the Lord is near
in the valley of decision.
The sun and moon will be darkened,
and the stars no longer shine.
The Lord will roar from Zion
and thunder from Jerusalem;
the earth and the heavens will tremble.
But the Lord will be a refuge for his people,
a stronghold for the people of Israel.



“Then you will know that I, the Lord your God,
dwell in Zion, my holy hill.
Jerusalem will be holy;
never again will foreigners invade her.


“In that day the mountains will drip new wine,
and the hills will flow with milk;
all the ravines of Judah will run with water.
A fountain will flow out of the Lord’s house
and will water the valley of acacias.
But Egypt will be desolate,
Edom a desert waste,
because of violence done to the people of Judah,
in whose land they shed innocent blood.
Judah will be inhabited forever
and Jerusalem through all generations.
Shall I leave their innocent blood unavenged?
No, I will not.”

The Lord dwells in Zion!

I've been looking at too much nudity lately. Nothing else to do

.Mikha'el. said:

I'm struggling with a very strong emotional longing for some companionship with a woman while at the same time having a physical need for much more than that.

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It is strange how things go Mikha'el I only just comforted a single woman longing after a man. I tell you the same as did her. Keep all the lies that surround your dream and hurt you out, for lies keep the truth of God away from you, and follow the truth of God's word which says that He will make all your dreams come true, and patiently wait for the fulfillment of His promise.

I heard about a person who really needed and wanted a woman. So he went and bought a pair of bikinis and laid them at the foot end of his bed and asked God to fill them with His desire. He went about his life as normal trusting that God would do as he had asked. I don't know how long he waited but this person got his woman, and when they married and she tried the bikinis on they fitted perfectly. My experience with God is very much the same, it are the lies hurting, and our desires demanding that can make the waiting so difficult or get us to make mistakes and regret them.

I really hope you will meet the woman of your dreams soon brother it must be very hard to have to wait for so long and be disappointed so many times. However I encourage you not to despair God's love over you and trust that He will do as He says for those who love and trust Him.

grandvizier1006 said:

I've been looking at too much nudity lately. Nothing else to do

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I have to disagree with you there! Have you read the Song of Solomon recently much better than inappropriate content and so uplifting and romantic. inappropriate content has to do with fleshly desires and perverts them, but the bible teaches us how to have sexual (and spiritual) relationships and find full fulfillment and purpose.

For as long as you torture yourself with inappropriate content brother your are not ready for a spiritual love relationship with God in your sexuality and will miss out big time. I had satan as master over my sexuality for many years and he only brought me hot and perverted desires, a lot of emotional pain and much desolation and anguish.

Hand your sexuality over to Jesus - time and again - and let Him shape you and satisfy you, wouldn't your Creator know what's best and works best?

Jesus says - deny your life and you shall find it - keep your life and you shall loose it - so whatever way you go brother you must perish being like you are - it is best to die as soon as possible so that you can have newness in Him and don't have to feel so empty and miserable within for so long.

Praying you see the truth you see inappropriate content next time - Jesus crying out Father Father why hast Thou forsaken me - and you knowing that God hasn't forsaken you who has been captivated by inappropriate content and is willing to give you life abundantly instead of none at all.

Song of Solomon 1:4 Take me away with you—let us hurry!
Let the king bring me into his chambers.

Love Making.

My love removes what has no desire or need,
To bare to the passions of embracing His Love,
Pure ecstasy as His Love releases The Seed,
Love making conceives Heavenly bliss from above.

My love carrying what His Good Loving has Sown,
Awaiting the time of delivery to Come,
Our Heavenly Dad to give a child of His own,
Hear the Angels adore Him who gave us The Son.