Am I too strict on women?

jamesstewart89 · Mar 26, 2016

All I want is a woman that is Christian and has the same constitutional views on politics like me at least. A lot of women like those lacking these days and I know I'm not going to find a woman that is a virgin, so that I can't really control. Sometimes I feel I can tell a woman isn't meant for because she has a problem that sticks out about her like she is to lazy, to carefree, or isn't christian enough. I'm the type of Christian that doesn't go to church because the lack of a good church for me but I believe in the Word. I believe in sex doesn't come before marriage, the 10 commandments, the morals of being a christian, and etc. Then again maybe I'm too judgemental then again I also feel I'm pretty right too. I'm just worried I could get hurt again or worse. I mean it isn't about how good looking she is because if it was then I would of gotten one by now but the problem is that those are the ones to be careful with.

The reason why I asked this now is because I may of had a chance to ask a nice girl out because I thought I could give her chance since she has matured but then again I don't have a crush on her...... I know when I have a crush on a girl it is easy for me to avoid looking at other girls. I was like at least interested in her but I was still looking at other girls who were beautiful.

Anyway I hope I get some civilized responses because every time I mention this to someone they say I'm strict for no reason. I will admit to a flaw since I am a shy person but I'm not the type of shy where I don't talk at all. I just need to get to know you.

Goodbook · Mar 26, 2016

Um. Maybe go to the politics forum and discuss politics there? If thats the first thing you talk about on a date I think that would put lots of women off. I think everybody has a view on politics that is unique to them actually, so you probably wont find anybody the exact same as you.

The born again christians I know of are usually apolitical. Because politics ultimately is controlled by the world system and is the opposite to how the Kingdom of heaven is.

jamesstewart89 · Mar 26, 2016

Goodbook said:
Um. Maybe go to the politics forum and discuss politics there? If thats the first thing you talk about on a date I think that would put lots of women off. I think everybody has a view on politics that is unique to them actually, so you probably wont find anybody the exact same as you.

The born again christians I know of are usually apolitical. Because politics ultimately is controlled by the world system and is the opposite to how the Kingdom of heaven is.

I know I could go to the "politics" forum but I was asking all of you am I too strict since I making this a more of general post than just one thing type of post.

Goodbook · Mar 27, 2016

Well if you just want someone with the exact same views as you and dont tolerate anybody else it could be limiting because everyone has different views and opinions on all different topics. So yes, I would say that that criteria is a bit restrictive.

AnneY · Mar 27, 2016

KitKatMatt · Mar 27, 2016

I don't see how you're too strict with your preferences. The more preferences a person has, the more narrow their search will be, but that is not a bad thing. You need to look for what is relevant and important to you.

The traits you mention are definitely not shallow things, so I think you're good!

timewerx · Mar 27, 2016

jamesstewart89 said:
All I want is a woman that is Christian and has the same constitutional views on politics like me at least.

If political views are an important part of my criteria, then I'll never be able to find the right woman for me!

My political views are so different that I end up despising talks about politics so I rather avoid it.

Swan7 · Mar 27, 2016

Sounds like you are rushing this "project" of yours. That's a problem in itself because relationships aren't a race or an objective. The real race is the Kingdom of God. Why do you want to be with someone this badly? Don't run emotions on relationships, that will get you into trouble since even your own heart can deceive you.

For me, I put my whole trust in God because I don't trust myself, I've gone down the road trying to find someone only to be the wrong one for me - multiple times. God will provide, just trust in him. :angel:

Miss Spaulding · Mar 27, 2016

KitKatMatt said:
I don't see how you're too strict with your preferences. The more preferences a person has, the more narrow their search will be, but that is not a bad thing. You need to look for what is relevant and important to you.

The traits you mention are definitely not shallow things, so I think you're good!

Basically this.

Like Katt says, you will limit yourself with such strong preferences/standards, but that isn't a bad thing necessarily. I get it, I have a high standards as well.

Anyway, yes, your preferences are strict, but that's okay. People should actually be much more strict with themselves, so whatever.

JeffofGallifrey · Mar 27, 2016

Okay, let's see....

You can ask someone out without having a crush on them. In fact, it's better that way because people aren't wasting time with unrequited crushes. :sigh:

Your preferences are strict and I think as you get more mature, they'll become less strict. One of the things I've learned is that sometimes it's good to date someone with slightly different views, because you can learn about the topic together. Assuming you can talk about the disagrement civilly, you'll expand each other's horizons.

(By slightly different, something big enough to notice but small enough to overcome. I don't mean a Catholic dating a Muslim, but a Lutheran dating a Catholic would work. Same with politics: if a Trump supporter is dating a Kasich supporter, that gives them both an opportunity to learn. Same with interpretations of the Bible. I've dated people who interpret it fairly differently, but we agree on the basics. So it works.)

So, look for someone who is compatible with you, NOT someone who is the same as you.

And I guarantee you you have more flaws than being shy. ^_^

Goodbook · Mar 27, 2016

I don't think women esp christian women ENJOY talking about politics was my point.
I mean we all have our opinions but its not something that women generally enjoy discussing all the time.

Think on things that are lovely, things that are pure, of noble and good report...

jamesstewart89 · Mar 27, 2016

Swan7 said:
Sounds like you are rushing this "project" of yours. That's a problem in itself because relationships aren't a race or an objective. The real race is the Kingdom of God. Why do you want to be with someone this badly? Don't run emotions on relationships, that will get you into trouble since even your own heart can deceive you.

For me, I put my whole trust in God because I don't trust myself, I've gone down the road trying to find someone only to be the wrong one for me - multiple times. God will provide, just trust in him.

Rushing? If I was rushing I would been in a lot more relationships by now but God also doesn't drop something or someone to you. There are times he expects you to do make an effort. If I was in a rush I would dated the sister of someone that is famous, a girl that considered generally highly attractive by every guy, and etc.

miss-a · Mar 27, 2016

I would just caution you to be sure that you are healed enough from whatever hurt you before to be seeking a new relationship. When we go into relationships with unhealed stuff, we can tend to see problems where there really aren't any. If you're preferences are just preferences, that's fine. If they originated as a result of someone who hurt you, that means you need to take that to the Lord and let Him heal it, and He will. Blessings, friend.

jamesstewart89 · Mar 27, 2016

Goodbook said:
I don't think women esp christian women ENJOY talking about politics was my point.
I mean we all have our opinions but its not something that women generally enjoy discussing all the time.

Think on things that are lovely, things that are pure, of noble and good report...

I actually don't discuss politics all that much because I never like to focus on just one thing but I would like her to at least care. I'm saying she has to not be 24/7 about and I'm sorry I wasn't clear.

Goodbook · Mar 27, 2016

? 24/7 about politics??No woman is like that. Unless you want to marry a politician.

A truly christian woman cares for the Lord and not the things of this world. You will find that, there is a sharp divide and thats probably why you cannot find anyone. Jesus gives us peace that passeth all understanding, and even the Bible says not to debate and complain.

When people discuss politics its not actually discussing its complaining about things they can't do anything about.

jamesstewart89 · Mar 27, 2016

What about if the girl wasn't real a bad person but misled.... Should I give her a chance or no? I usually at least like to have one like me or close. Is this too strict?

jamesstewart89 · Mar 27, 2016

Goodbook said:
? 24/7 about politics??No woman is like that. Unless you want to marry a politician.

A truly christian woman cares for the Lord and not the things of this world. You will find that, there is a sharp divide and thats probably why you cannot find anyone. Jesus gives us peace that passeth all understanding, and even the Bible says not to debate and complain.

When people discuss politics its not actually discussing its complaining about things they can't do anything about.

Typo I meant not 24/7

Goodbook · Mar 27, 2016

A more important thing to focus on, if you looking for a woman, is that she cares for YOU and the people around her she interacts with everyday. Why should she bother to read all the bad news in the paper or comment on everything that gets shown on tv? Is that really important?

If it is, look for someone who works in the news media. I don't know. Your relationship with God is your first priority, ask Him about it.

Goodbook · Mar 27, 2016

Don't go out with anybody you don't really like or are unsure about. Save the confusion.
If you think she's deceived about something pray for her and ask God to give you words of widsom for her to see the light.

But don't mistake talking with a woman about politics for dating.

Swan7 · Mar 27, 2016

jamesstewart89 said:
Rushing? If I was rushing I would been in a lot more relationships by now but God also doesn't drop something or someone to you. There are times he expects you to do make an effort. If I was in a rush I would dated the sister of someone that is famous, a girl that considered generally highly attractive by every guy, and etc.

It was just speculation is all

Am I too strict on women?

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