- Feb 22, 2016
- 683
- 1,179
- 30
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Lutheran
- Marital Status
- Single
My mother and I have gone to the same church for many years and now that I'm an adult and am able to understand what I like to call 'the finer points of human interaction' that I was either oblivious to as a child or shielded from. I have noticed that our congregation treats my mother horribly. Why? Because she is a twice divorced woman and currently single with no intentions of dating or marrying ever again (she's been far too hurt by the last two to even think of that and I understand that completely). I am her only child and the child of the second marriage and therefore, if you think about it, I am technically a bastard child because since she has divorced her first husband and married another she has committed adultery. The married ladies of the congregation constantly exclude her as subtly (but to me it's very obvious) as they possibly can. If she tries to talk to any male member of the congregation (usually asking about something from the sermon or asking for help with something), their wife immediately comes over and interrupts the conversation to get their husband away from her as if she intends to do something inappropriate.
The congregation always treated me well when I was a child and I was held in high esteem by adults and elders alike. But as I got older that started to change. Why? Because I was becoming a woman and I am the girl child of an adulterous marriage and whatever niceness they had for the innocent child I was is apparently null now that I'm older and all their good will goes to my best friend who has two parents who are married because she is somehow more pure than I could ever hope to be. I hold no grudge against or jealousy towards my friend for this for she's done nothing wrong and neither have I and we are like sister to each other.
I actually heard two older ladies talk quietly yet openly about this in the bathroom one Sunday while I was in a bathroom stall so I am not imagining this. You can't imagine how horrible I felt afterwards.
So we have tried a few other churches of our denomination in the area. We introduce ourselves and things go well until people find out about my mother and then its the same story all over again. So we then tried some other churches of other denominations (my county has A LOT of churches) and we have gotten the same treatment.
Is there simply no church that has a congregation that will look at us as fellow Christians instead of outsiders? We're at a loss for what to do.
The congregation always treated me well when I was a child and I was held in high esteem by adults and elders alike. But as I got older that started to change. Why? Because I was becoming a woman and I am the girl child of an adulterous marriage and whatever niceness they had for the innocent child I was is apparently null now that I'm older and all their good will goes to my best friend who has two parents who are married because she is somehow more pure than I could ever hope to be. I hold no grudge against or jealousy towards my friend for this for she's done nothing wrong and neither have I and we are like sister to each other.
I actually heard two older ladies talk quietly yet openly about this in the bathroom one Sunday while I was in a bathroom stall so I am not imagining this. You can't imagine how horrible I felt afterwards.
So we have tried a few other churches of our denomination in the area. We introduce ourselves and things go well until people find out about my mother and then its the same story all over again. So we then tried some other churches of other denominations (my county has A LOT of churches) and we have gotten the same treatment.
Is there simply no church that has a congregation that will look at us as fellow Christians instead of outsiders? We're at a loss for what to do.