Since I'm stuck at home all the time right now I'm trying be productive. I watch my sister when she comes home from school (she's autistic). I do most of the cooking and I clean the kitchen every night and other household chores. I try to listen to sermons regularly (a sermon a day at least) and I even fall asleep with christian worship songs on. I take a scripture and meditate on it throughout the day. I'm struggling to read my bible daily even though I have a couple of small bible plans. It just feels like all I do is ruminate. The only time it seems like I get any peace is if I'm watching tv. I have two new books for leisure (usually I'm a fast reader) but I haven't been able to read them. I feel awful. I am so tired of this.
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Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
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Do you feel like you always need to be doing something productive? Like you feel bad if you do something that you find fun or entertaining?
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Maybe a little bit. It was really bad when I first got saved. OCD started attacking tv shows I watched I ended up quitting a lot of shows. I would even watch Arthur (a kids' show) and still feel guilty. Now I try not worry about the things I watch though there still a few things I'm unsettled about so I avoid it. I guess the current issue is I spend so much time ruminating and it's such a waste of time and it causes me to procrastinate in other areas like setting goals for the things I need to do. Sometimes it feel likes the only time I get a break is when I'm watching a show I like and then I feel guilty for enjoying it so much. I want out of my head.
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Ah, I see. Yeah, I had an entire year or two where I did almost nothing but schoolwork. I never really did much else but go to church related events. I couldn't get very far because I was always either ruminating or re-reading the same parts of the school books over and over. It's rough.
Have you ever sought treatment? Like a therapist or psychiatrist?
Have you ever sought treatment? Like a therapist or psychiatrist?
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