Since I'm stuck at home all the time right now I'm trying be productive. I watch my sister when she comes home from school (she's autistic). I do most of the cooking and I clean the kitchen every night and other household chores. I try to listen to sermons regularly (a sermon a day at least) and I even fall asleep with christian worship songs on. I take a scripture and meditate on it throughout the day. I'm struggling to read my bible daily even though I have a couple of small bible plans. It just feels like all I do is ruminate. The only time it seems like I get any peace is if I'm watching tv. I have two new books for leisure (usually I'm a fast reader) but I haven't been able to read them. I feel awful. I am so tired of this.