I can make myself follow Christ's teachings about how to live. I can make myself pray. I can make myself go to church. And I experience little "flashes" that are almost faith here and there. But none of that means anything without actual, full-on faith, right?
So where do I get faith? Christianity involves not just practices but a set of factual beliefs– I have to believe that God exists, that Christ was the son of God, that his death redeemed our sins, etc etc etc. Sometimes, I think it's like being presented with a box and told that, without opening it, I have to believe that there's a red ball inside it. I can acknowledge that there might be a red ball in there, but how can I make myself believe that there definitely, definitely is?
It can be infuriating. I want to have faith (sometimes, anyway), I pray for faith, I try ordering myself to believe, but something's missing. I haven't been able to force faith, and it's not coming on its own, and sometimes it's painfully frustrating– it's like I'm dying of thirst in a desert and faith is an oasis of water lying just out of reach of my lips. Is there anything I can do other than wait?
We all have faith in something or some people.
What you are talking about is directing that faith toward God to make it a saving faith.
Sitting at home and “hoping” for a faith does not work, but getting out and around true Christians of great faith will grow your desire and allow you to see how it works. A lot comes with the right attitude: Do you like seeing others being Loved unconditionally, would you prefer to be loved unconditionally (in spite of who you really are) and not loved for how you want others to perceive you to be? Would you like to Love others unconditionally (not because they are lovable, but because you are a Lover)?
Faith comes with hearing/seeing God living in and through others, experiencing that Love.
If you then take the little faith you have with the little Godly type love you got from God, you can grow that faith and Love through use (doing stuff for others without expecting anything in return).
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