Do I give advice or keep my thoughts to myself?

Is this on FB? Cancel facebook. You got better things to do.

Littlek said:

Okay, as Christians we all have our feelings of what is right and wrong in our own eyes. One person may view it as harmless, while someone else views it as sin. I personally, find myself trying to help people see what is wrong. It is a strong will that I have and I think I need to stop. Now, don't think that I do this in mean fashion. I have a heart that strongly wants to not sin, and I voice my views and opinions on things, sometimes in a get around the point kind of deal or straight up say that it's wrong.
I do not mean any harm. I don't know why I have such a stubborn headed mind set of "that's not right" don't do it. I want people not to sin, and I want to show them that what they watch, listen too, do etc. is wrong. I have got to quit. How do I get over this? I don't want to be judgmental, and make people not want to be around me. For instance, a Christian close to me posted pics of men, who were posing and showing their butts and just covering up their privates on front view, and was supposed to be wounded soldiers, but more less like soft inappropriate content. I said something about it to her, and she agreed it was a little to provocative and took it off.
How do I stop interfering with other's decisions and what they do and keep my nose in my own business!? Ugh, it's a hard thing to deal with, and I don't like it. I don't think I'm better than anyone else by no means. I struggle too and try to make sure I pull out the plank in my own eye. Another example, if a family member is watching nasty, raunchy dancing videos, that is clearly wrong, how do you stop your mouth from saying that's not right? Or I find out an old friend has a daughter that wants to strip, and I want to say, oh honey please don't use your body this way..blah blah..but I can't tell her this, I have not talked to this person since she was a little girl and she might tell me off lol. But I just want her to see who loves her so much (God) and who she is to him.

Am I a worrier over other people's sin and I need to keep myself in check? And again, please don't think I am a cold hearted person telling everyone what to do. I feel I try to do this out of love, and concerned about people's fate. Sometimes as a Christian it gets depressing viewing sin and what foolish things people do with their lives.

Anyone else go through before? Am I supposed to be a light or just shut up and let them do whatever? Confused.

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If Jesus was in your shoes what would he do? There's a huge difference between telling someone and talking to someone. I wouldn't keep silent but I would also say that the decision is 100 percent up to the other person. Being a young adult myself if someone were to just tell me what I'm doing is wrong I would be quite irritated and annoyed. The reason I would be irritated is because if someone were to tell me what I'm doing is wrong because the bible says so and leave it at that, I would be strongly convinced that the person hasn't gone through what I'm going through and I would feel a huge disconnect in him/her trying to tell me what to do. However if someone were to politely ask me for a minute and simply just say hey I know I have no right to tell you what to do but I've been through or seen what this situation does to people and this is why I think it would be a better option for you not to do this. Again not telling them what to do or how to live their life but offering them alternatives and showing them that you love and care for them no matter their decision. If someone were to bring that attitude I would not feel a disconnect and even if I disagreed with them I would really appreciate the fact that they would take the time to talk to me. Jesus wouldn't keep silent, he would love them and offer them a better way but if they refused he wouldn't force them. He would still love them and keep the offer on the table for whenever they are ready.

While some may disagree, I honestly think you did the right thing in the situations noted. Think about it this way - if you were engaging in a questionable action, and somehow brought a friend or family member into it, what would you think if they said nothing? In a way, silence speaks volumes - it sort of condones the action as acceptable. By contrast, if you voice your opinion on the action, that individual will (hopefully) find it more difficult to justify the action or behavior.

I honestly applaud you for taking a stand. Call out a sin when you see it. To me, a friend who is strong enough to offer moral guidance rather than merely "going with the flow" is a good one. Make a wrong known and then let the individual make a decision. Steering people toward the "straight and narrow" is an act of love, not pride or hypocrisy. True, you should direct wisely - we humans hate being told we are wrong - but also actively.

Obviously, just make sure you are willing to accept such advice if it is offered to you. This sets a fine example.

Keep up the good work. Reason with them that the consequences of the sin they are doing will not be good.

Speak to give grace to those who hear. Eph 4:29 IE Let your words be guidance to the solution. There are times to pic your battles. You can't speak up about everything.

Well if we focus on what everyone else is doing we will never live our own lives. As someone else said theres a time and a place. We can correct people all we want but they ultimately have to answer to God for what they do.

Unless it is a sin issue - real sin, not just pseudo-sin - it should be left alone. After all, where do you draw the line? I mean, seeing a few naked hinies on the internet is not the same as committing adultery. And if you get upset about a hiney on the facebook, why don't you tell an obese person they should not have dessert or even dip on their veggies, or that you're not allowed to get angry because it's a precursor for murder? Or would you tell someone who has battled addictions to hard drugs that they need to quit smoking too, since it's "not right"?

Going about correcting others is not what any of us are called to do because the message it really sends is that the other person is not where they should be on their Christian journey according to you. People need to be respected on their journey, and God will deal with them in their own time. It's not your job to point out what is right and wrong for other people. That's the Holy Spirit's job. He will convince people in his time.

Being in relationship with Jesus is not about the appearances of what is right or wrong. It's a matter of love, and if there is someone who is caught in ongoing sin, there might be occasion to expose - although I believe this is rare. It must be done with the other person's best interest at heart, without imposing your own values onto them - which you are not doing. There is a specific way to go about it, and each time must be thoroughly examined ahead of time.

As for those who are not living up to your standard of what is right and wrong, again, their relationship with Jesus is about love. I love my husband; therefore, I do my best to never hurt him, and even when I do, it is unintentional. I love Jesus; therefore, I do my best to never hurt him, although I know that I do not always please him. But when I learn how my behaviour might break Jesus' heart, I do everything I can to change it and ask him for his mercy and empowerment through the Spirit while I work it out. But heaven help the critical person who tries to point out all my shortcomings - that's not very loving and indeed, my defenses will go up.

So pray for grace, pray for mercy, pray for compassion for those who are at a different place in their faith journey. Extend the same grace to them that Jesus does - the love that covers over a multitude of sins. If you do not want to see naked hinies on your facebook feed, you can click on the little arrow that provides the option to "see less of this kind of post" and then no one's offended.

Remember that love is always right, so each time you are tempted to tell someone what's "wrong" with their behaviour, ask yourself how you can best love that person in that moment of their weakness.

One friend of mine would sometimes say "How does that fit in with scripture which says..." That he gives the scripture shows he has thought about it rather than making snap judgements. As you say there are areas where people don't see things the same. One only has to look at threads about halloween to see that. Even what bible translation should be used gets rather emotional for some. Of course on grey matters you can still say something but be aware they may see it differently. You will need to accept it if they do. On other things that are clearer such as stripping then yes you can say something but you need to consider the relationship. When the bible talks about being a light to others it is a lamp to guide not the sun. Difference between a lamp and the sun is the amount of light given. In other words a lamp gives light to those around not people not around us.

If you see that they are sinning and they are somehow unaware then you should point it out to them. At that point your obligation would be fulfilled and the decision on whether they will change their actions is up to them. God has told us how he expects us to live and simply relaying that message is not passing judgment on somebody.

Opinions aside, here's some bare Scripture for you:

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,..." (2 Timothy 3:16)

Also, we are not told not to judge at all, but rather to "Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.” (John 7:24)

In our engagements with unbelievers, however, we are admonished to " be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves." (Matthew 10:16) So be tactful in your correction of believer and unbeliever alike.

I'd say you did the right thing, the Scriptural thing, in this regard. Don't snuff out your light.

There are just as many verses to back up the assertion that we should not be judging....there is a difference between judging to evaluate a situation or person and judging to condemn them (point out sin).

Well. Inunderstand your concern but...it furthers the kingdom of God when you give advice if its asked for. Not to people who wont receive it. If they will not recieve you in Jesus name we are to shake the dust off our feet.

Do not cast your pearls before swine or feed what is holy to the dogs as they will turn and bite you.

This is something I learned in my walk too.

NothingIsImpossible said:

Well if we focus on what everyone else is doing we will never live our own lives.

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And, as far as correction goes, I think we need to be first busy with our own correction that we need > Hebrews 12:4-11 < this has to do with becoming perfected in God's love > 1 John 4:17.

So, while we may point out what is wrong, we need to be busy with the right way of loving, and how to be with God and obeying how He rules us in His peace > Colossians 3:15.

ValleyGal said:

a few naked hinies on the internet

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I would agree that we do not need to try to be the "Internet police"; but if he knows a woman who is a Christian, I can see the point of talking with her about what example she is setting, but . . . as I think you mean . . . not trying to control and boss people >

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

ValleyGal said:

Being in relationship with Jesus is not about the appearances of what is right or wrong.

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This is true. But there are things which may be outward, but they are involved in being unloving. So, if he knows someone who claims to be a Christian and who wants to live for Jesus, it can be good to say things to help the person to know what is against love and how we need to go, instead.

For example, arguing can be an outward thing, but it certainly can be destructive and degrading from relating the way the Bible says to relate in love >

"submitting to one another in the fear of God." (Ephesians 5:21)

"swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." (in James 1:19-20)

And Colossians 3:16 does say "teaching and admonishing one another". But, Little k, please note how this does say, "one another" > so you might also challenge people to talk with you about how you yourself need correction, since it looks like the Bible says for us to do this

"Sweetheart, you have been very good about listening to me, while I talk with you about some way I find you are wrong; but why don't you ever point out how I am wrong?"

"I don't see anything about you that is wrong."

"UH-uh!! I know there are things wrong with me. And you can be my helper to do better."

Well, now she does say things . . . but very efficiently, like when I really am wrong somehow! But she helps me with her example of how she is compassionate and caring while I can be paranoid and critical > her example can tell me how I am wrong plus how I need to become real in love. So, example can speak more than you might be able to tell someone

And our Apostle Paul says > "warning every man and teaching every man in all wisdom, that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus," in Colossians 1:28. So, we need to go with this purpose of correction, how we need to become like Jesus in how we relate in love. So, make sure you yourself are feeding on what you are needing >

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

So, it would be much more important to point out how unforgiveness is against loving, than to point out that it is wasteful to spend too much money on chocolate, for one example.

ValleyGal said:

There are just as many verses to back up the assertion that we should not be judging....there is a difference between judging to evaluate a situation or person and judging to condemn them (point out sin).

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Resorting to this kind of dismissal of Scripture when it explicitly affirms the necessity to designate immoral actions is irresponsible. Where do you get this definition of condemnation? It is quite absurd to conflate judgement (designating sin) with condemnation (damning one to an adverse fate, in this case hell). I was going to quote a few verses regarding the necessity for correction and the actual biblical standpoint on discipline, but NothingIsImpossible got ahead of me. The Bible is full of examples, including from the apostles and Jesus Christ Himself of judging the actions of others. Indeed, we can agree that patience on lesser issues (like the chocolate example given com7fy8) is certainly edifying and more practical, and certainly we need to be tactful and patient in addressing some issues which aren't lesser but neither severe. It is, however, explicitly unbiblical to ignore a majority of issues altogether, without any kind of address at all. Especially the virtual inappropriate content issue mentioned by the OP. I'd be astounded to see a Christian ignore this kind of behaviour in another Christian. We need to be gentle, humble and respectful, but it is hardly like Jesus and His statements for our benefit to place an abundance of cotton pillows around everything we say, which will simply encourage idleness and weak emotional integrity. And these traits perpetuate themselves like laziness with the body continues to degenerate and render it weak. It's precisely this reason that makes many Christians so susceptible to apostacy when they don't encounter the land of milk and honey they falsely expected to have on this present earth in Christ. For now there's still thorns and thistles, and they need to be removed, not ignored.

My post didn't turn out right, theres the correct version:

And, as far as correction goes, I think we need to be first busy with our own correction that we need >Hebrews 12:4-11< this has to do with becoming perfected in God's love >1 John 4:17.

So, while we may point out what is wrong, we need to be busy with the right way of loving, and how to be with God and obeying how He rules us in His peace >Colossians 3:15.

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Well that is true, we do need to make sure we are also up for correction. Though it doesn't mean we can't correct anyone until we have no logs in our eyes because its impossible to be perfect. But I think its a balance to all three things, not judging, correcting, removing ones own log. For most I know they are 90% correcting, and 10% not judging with 0% removing their own log. Where there are those who are 90% not judging, 10% removing logs and 0% not correcting.

Both of those extremes can be dangerous. And of course the percentages shift back and forth sometimes as life goes on. In my past I was defiantly like 99% judging, with that last 1% being looking at my own logs and not judging. So glad I'm not that person anymore.

NothingIsImpossible said:

we do need to make sure we are also up for correction. Though it doesn't mean we can't correct anyone until we have no logs in our eyes because its impossible to be perfect.

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"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

I think, Nothing Is Impossible, that we can use our own correction as our example to help others get correction. Especially . . . if God brings me from my wrong stuff to how I can be loving, instead, this is so beneficial; and I am encouraged with how He has brought me to so better; so I can use this to help others. I can tell someone how something kept me from how I could have love with God and other people, and how God corrected me . . . not only stopping what is wrong, but changing me more into how He has me love. So, correction is not only pointing out what is wrong, but showing which way to go and God changing the person.

Sometimes it's hard to take correction and there's a right way and a wrong way to go about it.
I think before we go about correcting others we ought to allow ourselves to be corrected first. Often our correction is intensely one on one with God and nobody knows except ourselves. But sometimes he does bring us people who correct us. If we feel our correction is falling on deaf ears we can always pray and most of the time that is more effective.

As far as your friends are concerned OP sometimes it is our job, and sometimes it isn't. If its just things on FB, remember that if you quit on FB you sending the message that FB isn't that important and you are not feeding the beast that feeds FB - people's attention seeking behaviours.

I mean you haven't said it was on FB but I gather that behaviour is bothering you with 'posts' and when I used to be on FB people posted all kinds of rubbish. That I don't need to hear. Sometimes its just nothing to bother with frankly. Your 'advice' is just going to be ignored anyway cos who is that addicted to FB that they check every single post?

True, on FB you could probably spend all day correcting people. I don't bother with posts I disagree with because its not worth it. Its their page and they can post what they want. Worse comes to worse I just block them.

Fortran said:

While some may disagree, I honestly think you did the right thing in the situations noted. Think about it this way - if you were engaging in a questionable action, and somehow brought a friend or family member into it, what would you think if they said nothing? In a way, silence speaks volumes - it sort of condones the action as acceptable. By contrast, if you voice your opinion on the action, that individual will (hopefully) find it more difficult to justify the action or behavior.

I honestly applaud you for taking a stand. Call out a sin when you see it. To me, a friend who is strong enough to offer moral guidance rather than merely "going with the flow" is a good one. Make a wrong known and then let the individual make a decision. Steering people toward the "straight and narrow" is an act of love, not pride or hypocrisy. True, you should direct wisely - we humans hate being told we are wrong - but also actively.

Obviously, just make sure you are willing to accept such advice if it is offered to you. This sets a fine example.

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Amen!!

I say as long as you are keeping yourself in line ,like you are, you have every right to show people The way . I know how you feel but even Christ called out sin.