Boyfriend is leaving b/c of his "new" christian views.

ecco · Nov 10, 2015

Of course, if you'd rather you can substitute the word "fornication," which applies to sex between unmarried couples. Fornication is a sin as well.

DaveW-Ohev said:
IT is pre-marital sex in that they were having sex before THEY were married.

Actually that word would be "inappropriate contentia" (the greek often translated fornication) and that INCLUDES adultery. It even includes sex between husband and wife during her period.

"Sex between husband and wife during her period" is adultery?

pat34lee · Nov 10, 2015

Skaloop said:
Just gonna jump into violating the rules, are you?

● Stating or implying that another Christian member, or group of members, are not Christian is not allowed.

That was a valid question, not a statement or implication.

KWCrazy · Nov 10, 2015

DaveW-Ohev said:
Where do you get that definition? It is not one I have ever heard before, and I find it unworkably narrow.

Pre: a prefix occurring originally in loanwords from Latin, where it meant“before” ( preclude; prevent); applied freely as a prefix, with themeanings “prior to,” “in advance of,” “early,” “beforehand,” “before,”“in front of,” and with other figurative meanings ( preschool; prewar;prepay; preoral; prefrontal).

There is no pre-marital if there is no planned marriage. You don't have pre-ignition without planned ignition. You don't have a preview without an expected view. I find it hard to believe that you are not familiar with the prefix "pre" and what it means contextually.

Crowns&Laurels · Nov 10, 2015

I can't shake the feeling that there is more to the circumstance in the OP then what is revealed.

Skaloop · Nov 10, 2015

KWCrazy said:
Pre: a prefix occurring originally in loanwords from Latin, where it meant“before” ( preclude; prevent); applied freely as a prefix, with themeanings “prior to,” “in advance of,” “early,” “beforehand,” “before,”“in front of,” and with other figurative meanings ( preschool; prewar;prepay; preoral; prefrontal).

There is no pre-marital if there is no planned marriage. You don't have pre-ignition without planned ignition. You don't have a preview without an expected view. I find it hard to believe that you are not familiar with the prefix "pre" and what it means contextually.

Most people plan to get married at some point. If they have sex with someone before that, it's pre-marital.

Dave-W · Nov 10, 2015

ecco said:
"Sex between husband and wife during her period" is adultery?

That is Not what I said.

I said that both adultery and sex during menses are included in inappropriate contentia, which is usually translated fornication.

keith99 · Nov 10, 2015

KWCrazy said:
Casual sex is not pre-marital sex. There was never any ring or date, there was no mention of an engagement, she was not his first and though it wasn't specifically mentioned he probably wasn't her first either. You can't have pre-marital sex without a pending wedding. You have sex outside of marriage with multiple partners, which is adultery. Of course, if you'd rather you can substitute the word "fornication," which applies to sex between unmarried couples. Fornication is a sin as well.

NO. Adultery is well defined though there are some variations. All variations require at least one involved to be married. There is no adultery here.

Dave-W · Nov 10, 2015

KWCrazy said:
There is no pre-marital if there is no planned marriage. You don't have pre-ignition without planned ignition. You don't have a preview without an expected view. I find it hard to believe that you are not familiar with the prefix "pre" and what it means contextually.

I am fully cognizant of what pre- means.

If either party has not gotten married YET it is pre-. Yes, I understand that it assumes that one or both will get married at some point but that is a rather standard assumption.

I would prefer that this discussion use the original greek and hebrew terms rather than the english.

KWCrazy · Nov 10, 2015

Skaloop said:
Most people plan to get married at some point. If they have sex with someone before that, it's pre-marital.

You're stretching here. Beyond that, it's still fornication. Sex with multiple partners is generally considered adultery. Either way, it's sinful behavior.

Skaloop · Nov 10, 2015

KWCrazy said:
You're stretching here. Beyond that, it's still fornication. Sex with multiple partners is generally considered adultery. Either way, it's sinful behavior.

Do an informal poll asking if premarital sex is limited to "sex with one's fiance(e) prior to the wedding night" or includes "sex between two people who are not and have not been married to each other or anyone else" and I'll bet dollars to donuts that most will go with the second one. Premarital sex does not require being betrothed to the person you are having sex with.

Dave-W · Nov 10, 2015

KWCrazy said:
Sex with multiple partners is generally considered adultery.

NO - adultery is a violation of an existing marriage covenant.

You need to get a Strongs and start reading the definitions.

fat wee robin · Nov 10, 2015

bhsmte said:
But his religion let him move in and want to have sex with you?

Always be leery of people who pull the religion card to judge others in this way. He is fine with it and then he isn't. Leads me to believe, he interprets his religion to suit his current needs.

You know, the whole; take the log out of your own eye first?

Ironically, this is the most honest and Christ like answer .No Wonder there are so many atheists with so called christians like here .

fat wee robin · Nov 10, 2015

St_Worm2 said:
You're probably right, thanks Keith Assuming this young man has indeed come under the influence of a new Christian teacher, why do you believe this guy must be "unbalanced at best" or "cultish at worst"?

Thanks!

--David

Because he should be encouraging marriage ,not seperation .

Unless he intends living celibate for a very long time , and repenting of what he has done ,to this young woman .

ananda · Nov 10, 2015

glamer85 said:
Just some back story before I get to the main question. My boyfriend and I live in the same house. We also share the same bedroom and sleep together. and yes we have had premarital sex. All of this was his idea. The house is mine and he asked to move in with me when his lease came up on his apartment. I was a little hesitant about it but it would help us both out financially so I agreed to it after he asked a few times. the sex was also his idea and I was not his first. now he is saying that he can no longer be with me and needs to move out once he gets his money together because his religion wont let him. he has spent the weekend sleeping in the living room even though I have 3 bedroom house. I have spent the weekend in my room feeling rejected and trying to make sense of why he would wrap me up in this relationship then change his mind after making a life with me. im crushed and just don't know what to do. he keeps saying he isn't breaking up with me......im so lost an confused. what should I do?

Tell him that, if he wants to get strictly Biblical, the moment you two had sex was the moment you became his wife

Dave-W · Nov 10, 2015

ananda said:
Tell him that, if he wants to get strictly Biblical, the moment you two had sex was the moment you became his wife

That is not so. If it were, there would be no sin of premarital sex.

Xojessica · Nov 10, 2015

I'm going to pop my nose in here for a moment and inturrupt the debate (which I would take part in if it had anything to do with answering the OPs question).

I have been in a situation similar you in the past. I met a man and he is actually the one who introduced me so heavily into Christian belief. Though technically we never slept together or lived together, we were doing some unchristian like things. And for a long time. One day he came home from church and told me it had to stop. So I questioned him about it.

It basically lead to us arguing in nearly every conversation because the sudden change of heart came from what seemed like no where. We split up a few weeks later. As it turned out, he just wanted to do those unchristian things to other women.

Now, I'm not saying this is the case for you, but I would advise you have a lengthy conversation with him and figure out if there is an ulterior motive behind his reasoning to you.

If you are able to give us a few more details of the relationship, we may be able to give you more guidance.

I hope everything goes well.

God bless.

Jahrooshshalom · Nov 10, 2015

It's odd that a Christian woman wold be lost and confused that about a situation her Christian faith should have never permitted her to enter into in the first place. And now her religious boyfriend is the one acting as his faith prescribes and is moving out. But only after he gets things together.
You didn't have a life together. You were unequally yoked with an unbeliever who then found religion, supposedly, and is now using that as an escape clause.

What should you do? Ask forgiveness, repent, and learn from this. There's an old saying, why marry the cow when you get the milk for free?
Have respect for yourself. Wait till you're married to share a bedroom with a man. Otherwise, this shock and surprise and hurt is going to repeat itself. Find Christ! Don't just wear the label and then not walk in the word.

glamer85 said:
Just some back story before I get to the main question. My boyfriend and I live in the same house. We also share the same bedroom and sleep together. and yes we have had premarital sex. All of this was his idea. The house is mine and he asked to move in with me when his lease came up on his apartment. I was a little hesitant about it but it would help us both out financially so I agreed to it after he asked a few times. the sex was also his idea and I was not his first. now he is saying that he can no longer be with me and needs to move out once he gets his money together because his religion wont let him. he has spent the weekend sleeping in the living room even though I have 3 bedroom house. I have spent the weekend in my room feeling rejected and trying to make sense of why he would wrap me up in this relationship then change his mind after making a life with me. im crushed and just don't know what to do. he keeps saying he isn't breaking up with me......im so lost an confused. what should I do?

ananda · Nov 10, 2015

DaveW-Ohev said:
That is not so. If it were, there would be no sin of premarital sex.

Where does the Bible condemn "premarital sex"?

Jahrooshshalom · Nov 10, 2015

In numerous verses throughout scripture. Here's one example:
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

ananda · Nov 10, 2015

Jahrooshshalom said:
In numerous verses throughout scripture. Here's one example:
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

As far as I understand it, a man in the Bible can have as many wives as he wants and can support, and a woman can only have one husband. Therefore, "fornication/inappropriate contenteias", in context, equals a man having sex with a married woman (not married to him), or vice versa. Therefore, no such thing as "premarital sex"

Boyfriend is leaving b/c of his "new" christian views.

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