Friend is being taken advantage of by others financially

Those situations can be tough to figure out. When it comes to going above and beyond like that, different people do it for different reasons -- some healthy, some not so healthy. Independent of that concern, though, assuming there are no agendas in play, I think assisting disadvantaged people is biblically sound.

Disabled people have a lot of needs and often live in poverty if they don't have family to support them. On their own, they often can't afford a car or gas to put in it, but have more than average number of doctor appointments to get to. I know people (in the US) who receive a mere $700 per month in disability income, and yet have monthly medical expenses out of pocket (after medicaid) of $600. That leaves $100 for their rent, utilities, food, transportation, clothing, etc. There are other services that can fill in the gaps for some of those things, but disabled people tend to have less energy and resources than most to go after them. They have huge needs and not everyone has family able to assist them. Also, I've seen several cases where one person's disability financially wrecks the whole family.

But the real issue is what does your friend think about all this. Has your friend complained to you about this? If he's not complaining, perhaps he's seeing a need he is more than happy to fill. The speaks of generosity and love. He's the one who gets to decide if he makes it his "problem" or not. And I put "problem" in quotes, because to him, maybe it's not a problem at all. And in any case, you don't really have a say in it all.

he could tell them that he needs some help himself

the bible says not to give and not leave enough for yourself-

"give whatever you are able to give. God doesn't ask for what you don't have."-2 corinthians 8:12

carebear1 said:

My friend works 2 jobs to support himself and has several friends who are on disability that he frequently pays for their meals dining out, other social events & giving them free transportation. The "friends" do have legit disabilities, I feel like he shouldn't make it his problem. It makes me sad to watch him do that when he's working his butt off at 2 jobs. He has been "friends" with them for many years so I know he won't change.

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*Why should it make you sad he helps out people
who have disabilities?
He works two jobs, that's his choice...be it good or bad.
I've done the same thing when I still lived in North Carolina.
...I don't regret helping people who really need it even though I was financially supporting my sick mom and
paying off a lot of debt.

Yea dont see the problem here. Dont be jealous, you friend is kind.
Why dont you take your friend out and treat him?

I don't understand what the issue is or why his behavior bothers you. Have you talked to your friend about this to see why he helps these people out? Honestly, if I had a friend that was being kind to those in need or who are disabled I would be proud of him. It would encourage me to help out too.

If he is able to support them without taking a hit to his finances or time I would say it isn't a huge deal... But I have been in the situation before where a close friend basically made me feel like I was the only one who would help them so I felt guilty when I thought about saving my time/money for myself. In my situation, my friend eventually really was taking advantage of me (at first and on occasion there were important things I am happy I helped them with. But looking back I noticed there were things they needed my "help" for that were really luxuries and unnecessary). I was not able to save money and had no free time because of how much they "needed me". At first I didn't mind, but eventually it took a negative toll on our friendship.

Do you have any other mutual friends with this person who also feel he shouldn't be helping them so much? If there are many people around him who thinks he is doing too much then it is might be a good idea to talk to him, but if you are the only one who sees a problem perhaps you should assess why and if it really is that big a deal? I am with davidtriune on that verse. Sometimes the one who needs looking after is yourself. But anyways what about him helping them makes you sad for your friend?

Do you want him to spend less on them and more on your and his future? Maybe he doesn't realize his options.

What if, he is giving to these individuals as his tithe? Just a question. . . .



In any case, I wouldn't sweat it. Dude is generous. . . if generosity offends you. . .

Yea dont see the problem.
Offer to pay to fix his glasses and broken window. He thinks others are more improtant than himself. Perhaps.

Mothers will spend on their children but wont see the broken things they have because their heart is looking after their children. Thats what love is, giving to other people. Its a gift to be given away.

If youve pointed it out to him, then see what he says, and maybe gently remind him to look not neglect looking after himself as well. But you could do the christian thing and offer your gift as well. I dont think he would refuse it.

I think Goodbook's answer above is good. Point it out to him that if he has things that need fixing (car and glasses are indeed important) then he should put his money there first. Remind him to take care of his own needs so he will be unhindered in looking after others.

Everyone else seems to think there is no problem whatsoever here but I see why you are concerned about him. Honestly going out to eat is a luxury, not a need. If he treats them often maybe just suggest he skip out every other time he would normally do it in order to save money for the things he needs. When people talk about budgeting, literally one of the first things people say is to cut out dining out, as it really takes a big chunk out of your finances (and he is paying for more than one person so he is losing even more). If the people he is treating really care about him they will understand that he needs to talk care of himself too. Perhaps he never complains to them so they think him paying is not a burden on him.

And yes maybe also offer to pitch in to fix his glasses or window. I know you say you don't let others problems become your own, which implies you wouldn't do that, but then why are you posting this question? Are you planning on talking to him about it either? Even if everyone on here agreed he shouldn't be treating people, it won't change anything in his life unless you take the action to speak with him. In any case, generosity is good in God's eyes, why not give it a try since you are concerned for him?