This past Sunday I was baptized as a requirement to join my new church. I had always read in the Gospels that our God was one of mercy and healing, but Sunday morning was when that promise became a reality for me.
I came to this church from the Pentecostal denomination and was hurt, angry, scared, and had no concept of a merciful loving Father. I had been wrapped up in legalism and fanaticism to the degree that I almost walked away from God for good. Yet in the two years I struggled to know and love God I knew deep down inside that I was missing something and wanted it so badly. I just wanted to be able to love God the way other Christians did. What was wrong with me that I couldn't?
As we were waiting for our turn, I stood in the baptism pool and silently cried out to God to help me, to start over and to just help me see Him as He really was. The Deacon in charge that day prayed over me and submerged me, and when I came out of the water I was hit by the most intense feeling of adrenaline and tremors. I could barely walk out of the pool I was shaking so badly. Inside I felt an explosion of pure joy and love so powerful I started crying. When the tremors stopped, a deep feeling of peace unlike anything I had ever felt before enveloped me in a safe cocoon and the tears came.
I cried all day and just basked in the warmth of that feeling. My mind was quiet for the first time in my existence, and the peace that I felt was so strong and comforting you could have sawed a limb off and I wouldn't have cared. All day I just cried and cried. I cried to exhaustion and slept so deeply. It was also as if all knowledge if God had entered my heart and mind and for the first time I saw God for who He really is. I listened to Casting Crowns and as the lyrics blared in my headphones it hit me that all God ever really wanted from me was to love me and for me to love Him. He didn't want me to feel like following Him meant a miserable existence, rules, or fear of anger and punishment. God just wanted to LOVE me.....love me despite my sin. He chose to send Jesus so His death would free me from the very things I had carried around for two years. I knew that God answered my prayer to start over and to reveal Himself to me. Not only did He do that, He healed me from the pain of my past, and I daresay a demonic stronghold was broken off of me that day. At last, I saw the truth, and I was free.
I am starting over as if I were a brand new Christian and am letting the Holy spirit teach me in all things. I am excited to know God as my Father in Heaven and be assured that He will NEVER stop loving me.
I consider August 9, 2015 my new day of salvation, because indeed God gave me life and set me free.
I came to this church from the Pentecostal denomination and was hurt, angry, scared, and had no concept of a merciful loving Father. I had been wrapped up in legalism and fanaticism to the degree that I almost walked away from God for good. Yet in the two years I struggled to know and love God I knew deep down inside that I was missing something and wanted it so badly. I just wanted to be able to love God the way other Christians did. What was wrong with me that I couldn't?
As we were waiting for our turn, I stood in the baptism pool and silently cried out to God to help me, to start over and to just help me see Him as He really was. The Deacon in charge that day prayed over me and submerged me, and when I came out of the water I was hit by the most intense feeling of adrenaline and tremors. I could barely walk out of the pool I was shaking so badly. Inside I felt an explosion of pure joy and love so powerful I started crying. When the tremors stopped, a deep feeling of peace unlike anything I had ever felt before enveloped me in a safe cocoon and the tears came.
I cried all day and just basked in the warmth of that feeling. My mind was quiet for the first time in my existence, and the peace that I felt was so strong and comforting you could have sawed a limb off and I wouldn't have cared. All day I just cried and cried. I cried to exhaustion and slept so deeply. It was also as if all knowledge if God had entered my heart and mind and for the first time I saw God for who He really is. I listened to Casting Crowns and as the lyrics blared in my headphones it hit me that all God ever really wanted from me was to love me and for me to love Him. He didn't want me to feel like following Him meant a miserable existence, rules, or fear of anger and punishment. God just wanted to LOVE me.....love me despite my sin. He chose to send Jesus so His death would free me from the very things I had carried around for two years. I knew that God answered my prayer to start over and to reveal Himself to me. Not only did He do that, He healed me from the pain of my past, and I daresay a demonic stronghold was broken off of me that day. At last, I saw the truth, and I was free.
I am starting over as if I were a brand new Christian and am letting the Holy spirit teach me in all things. I am excited to know God as my Father in Heaven and be assured that He will NEVER stop loving me.
I consider August 9, 2015 my new day of salvation, because indeed God gave me life and set me free.
