Why is Contraception Considered Morally Acceptable?

patricius79 · Jul 18, 2015

Open Heart said:
We are called to be fruitful and multiply and fill up the earth. The problem is, the earth is now full. Not only is child spacing prudent for the health of the mother, but a married couple may want to limit their children to one or two for the sake of the planet. The question then becomes, which method of child spacing is best/most moral.

Many methods are downright immoral as they are abortifacients. I'm speaking of the pill and the IUD. Others wreak havoc with a woman's health, both physical and mental, also the pill and other hormone methods. Barrier methods like a condom interrupt the romantic mood of the moment and can interfere with the sensation for men. Some methods are simply too unreliable, such as coitus interruptus. I am convinced that the best and most moral method available is Natural Family Planning. If used properly, it has same efficiency rate as the Pill. It is NOT the same as the rhythem method, but relies on bodily signs of fertility.

I agree that the moral way of spacing children is through periodic-abstinence (NFP) such as the Billings Ovulation Method.

Open Heart · Jul 18, 2015

patricius79 said:
I agree that the moral way of spacing children is through periodic-abstinence (NFP) such as the Billings Ovulation Method.

It worked for us. We have our two children spaced three years apart.

John The Recorder Player · Jul 18, 2015

patricius79 said:
If you think sexual pleasure is a good in itself--without any openness to procreation-- then why do you believe in any sexual morality?

How have I not? You said that masturbation was wrong because it is an act of lust. Is not contracepted sex an act of lust, since it, also, deliberately separates sexual pleasure from procreation?

I believe in sexual morality because I believe in God's revelation to man. And no I did not say masturbation was wrong I wrote "...if it's wrong..." I personally do not believe that it is. For example one may fantasize about one's wife when she is not available. One cannot commit adultery with one's own wife. I also believe that masturbation is possible without sexual fantasy. At least I am told that it is.

patricius79 · Jul 20, 2015

Open Heart said:
It worked for us. We have our two children spaced three years apart.

Hi Open Heart,

That's wonderful.

--Pat

patricius79 · Jul 23, 2015

John The Recorder Player said:
I believe in sexual morality because I believe in God's revelation to man. And no I did not say masturbation was wrong I wrote "...if it's wrong..." I personally do not believe that it is. For example one may fantasize about one's wife when she is not available. One cannot commit adultery with one's own wife. I also believe that masturbation is possible without sexual fantasy. At least I am told that it is.

Hi John,

I think it is possible, in a sense, to adulterate--i.e. render impure--one's relationship with one's own spouse, if one is looking at the spouse as a sex object. One of the predictions of the Vicar of Christ, Pope Paul 6th in Humanae Vitae, is that if contraception is accepted women will be more and more viewed as sex objects.

Peace,

Pat

Shemjaza · Jul 23, 2015

patricius79 said:
Hi John,

I think it is possible, in a sense, to adulterate--i.e. render impure--one's relationship with one's own spouse, if one is looking at the spouse as a sex object. One of the predictions of the Vicar of Christ, Pope Paul 6th in Humanae Vitae, is that if contraception is accepted women will be more and more viewed as sex objects.

Peace,

Pat

But not men? Women's sexual agency often seems to be ignored by this kind of attitude.

Why can't sex be an expression of love and closeness "becoming one flesh" if you will without children being a goal?

patricius79 · Jul 25, 2015

Shemjaza said:
But not men? Women's sexual agency often seems to be ignored by this kind of attitude.

Good point.

I agree that contraception also tends to encourage women to see men as sexual objects.

Open Heart · Jul 25, 2015

patricius79 said:
I agree that contraception also tends to encourage women to see men as sexual objects.

Really? I kind of think the oxytocin interfears with that. Women bond when we have sex. Generally speaking, we'll never be able to have casual sex the way men do. Although you have to admit it, all the current cultural forces are trying to convince us that we can and should.

patricius79 · Jul 25, 2015

Open Heart said:
Really? I kind of think the oxytocin interfears with that. Women bond when we have sex. Generally speaking, we'll never be able to have casual sex the way men do. Although you have to admit it, all the current cultural forces are trying to convince us that we can and should.

Hi Open Heart, You make a good point. I don't know. I've always thought that men are much more prone to eroticism than women, and one of my favorite writers teaches that. But I have a friend who insists that this is false.

In either case, though, I think that contraception tends to the objectification of both men and women.

And even if--as I believe--women are, by nature, much less prone to promiscuity or casual sex, they may still be capable of objectifying their husbands, right?

Open Heart · Jul 25, 2015

patricius79 said:
Hi Open Heart, You make a good point. I don't know. I've always thought that men are much more prone to eroticism than women, and one of my favorite writers teaches that. But I have a friend who insists that this is false.

I think women are just erotic in a different way. Men buy inappropriate content, women buy spicy romance novels.

And even if--as I believe--women are, by nature, much less prone to promiscuity or casual sex, they may still be capable of objectifying their husbands, right?

I honestly don't know. When you say objectification, are you talking about all the time, or just during love making?

patricius79 · Jul 25, 2015

Open Heart said:
I think women are just erotic in a different way. Men buy inappropriate content, women buy spicy romance novels.

That makes sense to me. Both have possessive, objectifying tendencies, but men are more genital-centered and women more heart-centered. Women tend to bond more emotionally through sex, while men are more capable, as you said above, of casual sex without as much connection between sex and bonding.

I honestly don't know. When you say objectification, are you talking about all the time, or just during love making?

I would think both.

Open Heart · Jul 25, 2015

patricius79 said:
I would think both.

I don't see how you can avoid some objectification during love making, not if its really hot and passionate. It's just the nature of sex, it's how God designed it.

patricius79 · Jul 25, 2015

Open Heart said:
I don't see how you can avoid some objectification during love making, not if its really hot and passionate. It's just the nature of sex, it's how God designed it.

I think that the objectification comes from sin. Sex is meant to be intensely interpersonal and pleasurable. But if people are centering their sexuality in their brains and understanding the connection between sex and procreation, then there shouldn't be objectification, but a true act of heterosexual friendship and respect. But if they are centering their sexuality in their genitals, then what seems "hot, for a brief time, is really pretty cold. Contraception encourages this.

patricius79 · Jul 26, 2015

Open Heart said:
I don't see how you can avoid some objectification during love making, not if its really hot and passionate. It's just the nature of sex, it's how God designed it.

I think I may see what you are saying now, Open Heart. I would agree that sex by nature involves possessive love. My point is that this passionate possessiveness (eros) of married sex is meant to be connected with the powers of our high brain (the frontal lobes), our spiritual life, our knowledge of morality, our friendship with (and respect for) our spouse, etc.

Open Heart · Jul 26, 2015

patricius79 said:
I think I may see what you are saying now, Open Heart. I would agree that sex by nature involves possessive love. My point is that this passionate possessiveness (eros) of married sex is meant to be connected with the powers of our high brain (the frontal lobes), our spiritual life, our knowledge of morality, our friendship with (and respect for) our spouse, etc.

I was reading this artical on what parts of the brain are invovled in sex, and it lists a lot, especially the temporal lobe, but not the frontal lobe.

Hank77 · Jul 26, 2015

patricius79 said:
I think that the objectification comes from sin. Sex is meant to be intensely interpersonal and pleasurable. But if people are centering their sexuality in their brains and understanding the connection between sex and procreation, then there shouldn't be objectification, but a true act of heterosexual friendship and respect. But if they are centering their sexuality in their genitals, then what seems "hot, for a brief time, is really pretty cold. Contraception encourages this.

Paul gives a clear reason for having a marital sexual relationship and it's not because of having children. Paul was real.
1Co 7:5 Defraud not one another, except by consent for a time, that ye may be free for fasting and prayer, and again may come together, that the Adversary may not tempt you because of your incontinence;

patricius79 · Jul 26, 2015

Open Heart said:
I was reading this artical on what parts of the brain are invovled in sex, and it lists a lot, especially the temporal lobe, but not the frontal lobe.

Interesting. I would suppose that all of the parts of the brain are meant to be involved in something as special as sex. I don't know much about the brain. What I do know is pretty vague. I don't really understand what the temporal lobe does. I looked it up but didn't understand. My understanding is that the frontal lobe has to do with the more spiritual powers of the brain: decision-making, insight, evaluating options, awareness of consequences, etc. I would think these higher parts of the brain are important in sex, as are the other parts of the brain.

One of the root issues as I see it is understanding that humans are not animals in any sense. Neither are we centaurs or mermaids. All of our sexual powers are based in our personhood: our likeness to God. In other words, sex can never be a purely sensual reality. It is extremely sensual, obviously. But this sensuality is mean to be ordered based on our spiritual life and reason. The Catechism says that couples should know how to keep themselves within the limits of a just moderation, even during sex. That is kind of what I'm saying. In other words, feeling intense desire for one's spouse is not wrong. A certain abandonment to the enjoyment of sex is not wrong.

But choosing to allow this intense desire to overwhelm our self-determination is lust, and that is wrong, even in marriage. For example, when a husband--or a wife--begins seeking sexual pleasure without regard for their spouse. An extreme example of disconnecting sex from the frontal lobes would be marital rape.

A less severe example would be, I suppose, contracepted sex.

Of course, I realize that we are all going to fall. We are fallen creatures. But I think we can gradually grow in psycho-sexual maturity and integration.

Open Heart · Jul 26, 2015

patricius79 said:
Interesting. I would suppose that all of the parts of the brain are meant to be involved in something as special as sex. I don't know much about the brain. What I do know is pretty vague. I don't really understand what the temporal lobe does. I looked it up but didn't understand. My understanding is that the frontal lobe has to do with the more spiritual powers of the brain: decision-making, insight, evaluating options, awareness of consequences, etc. I would think these higher parts of the brain are important in sex, as are the other parts of the brain.

The brain is fascinating and complicated. I'm only a beginner and I've TRIED to study it. Everything you say about the frontal lobe is right on, but one thing you missed is that the frontal lobe is our emotional filter and what makes us think twice before we act. My guess is that the reason the frontal lobe doesn't do much during sex is because it would interfere with the necessary abandon. Unless of course you want to do something really perverse and need a good filter. The temporal lobe, however, processes sensory input, so it makes sense that it would be the primary location of activity during sex.

patricius79 · Jul 29, 2015

Open Heart said:
The brain is fascinating and complicated. I'm only a beginner and I've TRIED to study it. Everything you say about the frontal lobe is right on, but one thing you missed is that the frontal lobe is our emotional filter and what makes us think twice before we act. My guess is that the reason the frontal lobe doesn't do much during sex is because it would interfere with the necessary abandon. Unless of course you want to do something really perverse and need a good filter. The temporal lobe, however, processes sensory input, so it makes sense that it would be the primary location of activity during sex.

Hi Open Heart,

For what it's worth, I think you might be right. However, I suppose sex is going to be very different from married couple to married couple. There are so many factors involved, from health, to hangups, to various levels of sexual maturity, etc.

But it sounds like we both believe that the whole brain is involved, but that we don't want to be over-thinking during sex.

Priests have said that sex should not be planned, and I would agree that we shouldn't have too many expectations about sex, or be surprised if it doesn't happen the way we expect. We're all just humans after all.

Sex is extremely special and important--being the source of human life and a source of bonding in marriage--but it is not God and should not be overly-idealized.

Peace,

Pat

Open Heart · Jul 29, 2015

patricius79 said:
Hi Open Heart,

For what it's worth, I think you might be right. However, I suppose sex is going to be very different from married couple to married couple. There are so many factors involved, from health, to hangups, to various levels of sexual maturity, etc.

But it sounds like we both believe that the whole brain is involved, but that we don't want to be over-thinking during sex.

Priests have said that sex should not be planned, and I would agree that we shouldn't have too many expectations about sex, or be surprised if it doesn't happen the way we expect. We're all just humans after all.

Sex is extremely special and important--being the source of human life and a source of bonding in marriage--but it is not God and should not be overly-idealized.

Peace,

Pat

Great post, Pat.

Why is Contraception Considered Morally Acceptable?

Called to Jesus Through Mary

Well-Known Member

Active Member

Called to Jesus Through Mary

Called to Jesus Through Mary

Regular Member

Called to Jesus Through Mary

Well-Known Member

Called to Jesus Through Mary

Well-Known Member

Called to Jesus Through Mary

Well-Known Member

Called to Jesus Through Mary

Called to Jesus Through Mary

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Called to Jesus Through Mary

Well-Known Member

Called to Jesus Through Mary

Well-Known Member

Similar threads