What to do if i'm in love with a married man

Give him up. You already know the answer to your question about whether to do the right thing or to continue the relationship. You wouldn't have called it "what is right" if you didn't already know what you should do.

I'll add that oftentimes you know what the right choice is because it's the easiest to make up in your brain but the hardest for the rest of yourself to follow through on.

Second, from a purely logical/secular viewpoint: You've been with him for two years and he's been saying he's going to divorce his wife and be with you. Okay, what's he going to tell you in '16? In '18? In 2020?

Third: If he's willing to divorce his wife because he found a new honey (you), how long will it take after you two are together before he starts cheating on you because he... yep... found a new honey? And so a relationship like this just makes no sense, if on no basis other than self-preservation.

Fourth: Say this guy never existed, and say you're single and not in a relationship. Okay, I come up to you and say, "Hey Megan, I know this married guy you've never met who cheats on his wife. Want a date with him?" I don't think you'd say yes unless you were insane or a cutter or something.

(I hope your name's not Megan, lol.......)

To the other forum members: I do know this is a wrong relationship from a Christian perspective, but I've just tried to come at it from a different angle.

Get over it, go out with somebody else.

Jn 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Psa 46:1 To the chief Musician for the sons of Korah, A Song upon Alamoth.God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

You feel guilty because you know this relationship is wrong. Please repent and stop seeing this man. It's a true saying “if they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you”. This is not a man you want to build a life with . He can't even be faithful to his wife, so what makes you think he would be faithful to you? His saying he loves you and is going to leave his wife is a lie and manipulation. It's just the way he holds on to you and you to him. It's nothing but a dead end/death/heartache. Please let the Lord love you, heal you, and remove you far from from this situation. God is more than willing to help you get free of this but you have to be willing and obedient. Praying for you.

You deserve better! Turn away from him completely and don't look back. God will give you an available man to marry, if you're in His will. Please don't waste another minute on this man. Would you really like to be married to a cheater? If he'll do it WITH you, he'll do it TO you. Pray to the Lord for strength.

Do what is right.

God will bless you when you do what is right.

This is easy: end the relationship.

audreygrace955 said:

I have been in relationship with a married man for 2 years. I feel quilty and have tried to walk away from this relationship for so many times. But everytime i end up coming back to him after he told me that he love me and that he is going to divorce his wife.

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audreygrace955 said:

*Two years of seeing a man who's showing you that he doesn't love you or honor his
marriage... living with lies/deceit and some how this keeps you going back to him again and again for more of the same thing?

Two years has come and gone, realize that
he is stringing you along, he's not honoring
his marriage vows nor is he honoring you.

Why continue to compromise your Christian
testimony for a someone who has shown you for two years and counting that he can't
be trusted?

As long as you allow him to have access, he
will continue to "smooth-talk" you and pull
you further into sin.

You need to repent, seek the Lord's help in
breaking free of this bond with the married
man.
End it today, change all your contact info,
throw away his notes, gifts etc.
Remember, break ups don't have to be done in person, in fact it's usual not wise to break up in person, especially when that person
holds "sway" over you and are known for
enticing you to compromise etc.

Where's your spiritual support team?
Don't have one? get one together ASAP!
Connect with a Christian prayer partner(s)
and a Christian mentor at church.

Live out your faith, don't live a life that
revolves around lies/deceit.
You are worth more than that, don't de-value yourself by accepting "second-best"
that the devil sent your way...remember the enemy prowls around seeking whom he can
devour...put a STOP to the devil's plan to
derail your faith walk with God.

Learn to see what the enemy is doing in your life-- recognize that the devil wants
to render your testimony as a Christian
null and void. The devil wants you confused,
upset and running in circles, because that
way you are doing NOTHING worthwhile
for God...no advancing the Word, no reaching those who are lost, no standing
for Truth and godly living etc.

It's a spiritual battle you are in and you will
need spiritual weapons to fight this battle...
bible study on the full armor of God here:
http://www.freebiblestudyguides.org/bible-teachings/armor-of-god.htm
Study it closely and use it into practice each day, so you can stand against the fiery darts from the enemy.

Also,
We aren't to follow our feelings or heart blindly-- we are to use God's Word to filter good from bad.
This is revealed in scripture:
Proverbs 4:23
"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."

Jeremiah 17:9
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

Colossians 3:5
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.

You and I are to guard our hearts, no one else will...certainly not the married man who claims to love you.

Now i'm confused between doing what is right or following the love that i feel for him. Please give some advice.

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* What to do? <REPENT>
Return to your first love...Jesus.
Live the new life accordingly....
Colossians, chapter 3

1"Since you were brought back to life with Christ, focus on the things that are above—where Christ holds the highest position.

2 Keep your mind on things above, not on worldly things.

3 You have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
4 Christ is your life.
When he appears, then you, too, will appear
with him in glory.

5 Therefore, put to death whatever is worldly in you: your sexual sin, perversion, passion, lust, and greed (which is the same thing as worshiping wealth).

6 It is because of these sins that God’s anger comes on those who refuse to obey him.

7 You used to live that kind of sinful life.

8 Also get rid of your anger, hot tempers, hatred, cursing, obscene language, and all similar sins.

9 Don’t lie to each other.
You’ve gotten rid of the person you used to be and the life you used to live, 10 and you’ve become a new person.
This new person is continually renewed in knowledge to be like its Creator.

11 Where this happens, there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, uncivilized person, slave, or free person.
Instead, Christ is everything and in everything.

12 As holy people whom God has chosen and loved, be sympathetic, kind, humble, gentle, and patient.

13 Put up with each other, and forgive each other if anyone has a complaint.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

14 Above all, be loving. This ties everything together perfectly.

15 Also, let Christ’s peace control you.

God has called you into this peace by bringing you into one body.
Be thankful.

16 Let Christ’s word with all its wisdom and richness live in you. Use psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to teach and instruct yourselves about God’s kindness. Sing to God in your hearts.

17 Everything you say or do should be done in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

audreygrace955 said:

But everytime i end up coming back to him after he told me that he love me and that he is going to divorce his wife.

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Then it would still be adultery. My niece married a man who left his wife for her, she was younger. Few years later he dumped her for something younger.
Leave and repent and break the soulties.
I was in a relationship with a single guy who wanted sex without marriage. I tried to break it off but he told me he loved me and sang cute songs. Then I broke it off and after a while he called again. God gave me a picture, I saw us both falling in a deep dark pit. And then I still was so stupid to think we could just be friends. I heard a preaching of John Kilpatrick who said: get out now in the Name of Jesus! and then broke it off totally.

As others have said, I think you DO know what you need to do really. Not only do you deserve to have better- but you know better, too. This may sound harsh- but can you really justify the fact that you're stepping into someone else's marriage and basically happy to steal another woman's husband? I don't how she feels about all this- whether she's a big part of their marriage problem, whether they have mutual problems or or whether she acually loves this guy and doesn't suspect a thing- but whichever it is you don't really have any business helping to destroy that marriage and any chance they have of working things out. Hon- it's so easy to say, I know, and so hard to do- but you KNOW that there is no way you can possibly look at it and make it right.
Do you have anyone you trust who you can speak to honestly and who could be a support for you if you find the courage to do the right thing and break off this destructive and deceitful relationship? This sounds very judgmental, I know- but I do understand that your feelings must be going through the wringer and what a battle it must be.

You need to end this relationship before you get caught, and you WILL get caught.

Blessings,

Alan

The answer is simple-he is married-you need to walk away. This is wrong.

audreygrace955 said:

It's like there is two mind fighting inside me. Its making me so depressed.

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It's going to hurt to stay put, and it's going to hurt to walk away. It's going to be costly either way. I would do the right thing and walk away. At least then you can appeal to God.

audreygrace955 said:

I have been in relationship with a married man for 2 years. I feel quilty and have tried to walk away from this relationship for so many times. But everytime i end up coming back to him after he told me that he love me and that he is going to divorce his wife. Now i'm confused between doing what is right or following the love that i feel for him. Please give some advice.

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This is a no-brainer.
You know what is right, you said it yourself. You need to dump this loser.
He's already shown himself to be a cheat and a liar...what could you possibly see in him?
Dump the chump.
Trust me...there will be other men...

audreygrace955 said:

What you're saying is very true. And i do hate myself for loving him this way. I never plan like this. Even this love growing without me realizing it. We were just friends when we met, also at first we were just talking and sharing about eachother problems. Nothing more. Until now i' m not doing sex with him, so i' m sure that his intention for me is not for pleasure. I keep telling him that this is not right and that he should make things work with his wife. As far as i can i' m giving him all the best advice i can give. I'm not trying to steal him from his wife. I also know that somehow someday this will end. The only thing i struggle now its fighting my own feeling. Because we cannot switch on and off our feelings just like that.

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I get ya sister. I want you to know that I took a hard approach on this with you because you are just to important to just sugar coat the truth, and then have you continue in it.. You are only going to get hurt.
doing the right thing usually comes at a price, and in this case it is your heart that will be broken. But, you know it is right to walk away, and wrong to continue a relationship with another woman's husband
I do hope that you can move past this point in your life, and onto the incredible things that the Lord has in store for you.
I am sure that there is probably even a great guy out there, and the Lord is holding off on that until you decide that you are ready.

If there is one thing that I am certain of, it is that what I think that I cannot live without. Always comes short of what God replaces it with. That has always been the way.

I love you sister, and I know that the Lord is just waiting on you now.. So what are you waiting for?

audreygrace955 said:

I wish it could be that easy....i never plan to fall in love with a married man.

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It is that simple. He does not belong to you. It will hurt, just as any heartbreak does. You feel guilty because you are wrong. What makes you think he would be faithful to you even if he left his wife. I stand by what I said, you need to walk away.