What say you forum: Should I mend fences with my ex-friend?

Gnarwhal

☩ Broman Catholic ☩
Oct 31, 2008
20,373
12,069
36
N/A
✟423,673.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Libertarian
Alright, I'll try to keep this short and sweet, but I've tried before and I doubt it'll work.

So quick backstory: I think most of you on here know I'm divorced. After all, I've mentioned it far too often even for my own comfort on this forum. Just as a refresher, my ex-wife and I split in August 2013 and filed for divorce two months later in October. When we agreed to split up she asked me to move out since I had more options for places to go than she did, I was okay with this.

Within about 1-2 weeks of my moving out, she had a new boyfriend. I didn't mind much, I knew this was her pattern. She hadn't been single since she was about 13. Moving on... during the month of September a guy whom I considered to my best friend sat me down on three separate occasions and proceeded to ream me for protracted periods of time for "allowing" this divorce to happen. He essentially insisted that I go grab my wife and force her to capitulate with me to restore the marriage - even though she and I were both in agreement that our marriage never worked.

Neither of us cheated on each other, but we got married far too soon. Too soon to realize that we had nothing in common and we bickered, argued and fought constantly about everything from spirituality to family to travel plans and every minute and trivial thing in between.

Well, since I didn't follow my friends urgings, he essentially went on to tell me that I was going to hell for getting an unbiblical divorce. This hurt and angered me but I kept my cool during these situations, since we were in public and he was already making a fool out of himself.

Well, after a mediated meeting, I thought we had agreed to disagree on the matter and our friendship would resume. I had started seeing a girl I met around the month of December, and although my ex-wife had been dating a guy for three months already, my friend took issue with my little dalliance.

The following month he took me aside and told me he couldn't be friends with me anymore, according to 1 Corinthians 5:11 and the "advice" of his mentor (that's another post in and of itself).

I was crushed. My other three best friends lived hundreds or thousands of miles away, so he was really the only friend I had left in my town. I had been struggling in my faith, and all I really knew at that moment was that if he wanted me to circle back to the church, telling me off like that wasn't the way to make it happen.

So it's been over a year and a half since we last spoke or saw each other. My life has turned around 10-fold. I got laid off from my job last October, which was actually a blessing. I've been able to return to going to church, since my job inhibited me from doing so before. I will also be transferring to the local four-year university in the fall, or possibly moving across the country to attend a university back there. I've also plunged back into the church scene, and have been fully engaged in my church for several months now. I'm also living a better lifestyle (regularly hit the gym, eat better... mostly) and am enjoying a happier, albeit less social, life

Here's the hitch, I don't want to resume my friendship with him. Not only is my trust in him shot, but I'm concerned that entering back into a friendship with him would hamstring all the progress I have made and plan to continue making in my life.

However, one of my other best friends is getting married next month, I'm in the wedding and I'm almost certain this guy will be attending. I highly doubt anything will go wrong there, since that would be really inappropriate and selfish, however, I would like to stave off any awkwardness, if possible.

Do you guys think I should reach out to this guy and try to mend fences? Am I under any obligation to do so? Is he? Frankly, I'd just like to forget about the whole thing and move on in life without him, but I can't escape this nagging feeling that I should at least set the record straight and inform him that he really hurt me or something.

Whether I stay where I am to finish my degree or move to the opposite coast, at some point in the next few years I anticipate moving away from here to find a career. I figure that if I'm supposed to clear the air with him and I don't do it now, it'll never happen.

I really don't want to affirm his behavior because I think it was belligerent, hurtful, callous and I dare even say un-Christ-like.

So what do you think? Is the onus on me to fix things with this guy? Or is it on him?
 

Sketcher

Born Imperishable
Feb 23, 2004
38,978
9,399
✟378,031.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
You don't want to affirm his behavior, he didn't want to affirm yours. It sounds to me like love motivated his rebuke. If you believe that Hell is a consequence for the sins of a fellow believer (I don't) whom you care about very much, you have to say something or be unloving and sin against both that believer and God himself. That's what's going to be at the root of his behavior, if what you told me is true and complete.

Could you seek forgiveness and reconciliation, given this?
 
Upvote 0

Gnarwhal

☩ Broman Catholic ☩
Oct 31, 2008
20,373
12,069
36
N/A
✟423,673.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Libertarian
You don't want to affirm his behavior, he didn't want to affirm yours. It sounds to me like love motivated his rebuke. If you believe that Hell is a consequence for the sins of a fellow believer (I don't) whom you care about very much, you have to say something or be unloving and sin against both that believer and God himself. That's what's going to be at the root of his behavior, if what you told me is true and complete.

Could you seek forgiveness and reconciliation, given this?

You mean ask him for forgiveness or tell him that I forgive him?

I see what you're saying, but I feel that if I were to talk with him, I think quite frankly I would tell him that what he did hurt me at a very vulnerable time for me emotionally and spiritually. I as struggling with agnosticism and my immediate reaction to what he did was that he was in no way guiding me back to Christ by condemning me, and I really don't credit him at all with my journey back to church.
 
Upvote 0

Tess

Not a tame Lion
Jan 12, 2015
632
303
England
✟10,899.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
So are you thinking you should mend fences just because of the wedding?
If that's the case I don't think you should; there will be plenty of people to chat to or
hang out with, and you can make smalltalk if you need to :)

Besides, given that he told you 'I'm not gonna be your friend anymore' (like a child) he might not want to mend fences anyway.

I mean, if he comes to you all friendly then be friendly but if I were you I wouldn't go out of my way to try and 'make up'.
 
Upvote 0

Gnarwhal

☩ Broman Catholic ☩
Oct 31, 2008
20,373
12,069
36
N/A
✟423,673.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Libertarian
So are you thinking you should mend fences just because of the wedding?
If that's the case I don't think you should; there will be plenty of people to chat to or
hang out with, and you can make smalltalk if you need to :)

Besides, given that he told you 'I'm not gonna be your friend anymore' (like a child) he might not want to mend fences anyway.

I mean, if he comes to you all friendly then be friendly but if I were you I wouldn't go out of my way to try and 'make up'.

The wedding's part of it, the other is the suspicion that if I don't reach out and take care of this now, it will never be taken care of. Really I think it should be him apologizing to me, but he's stubborn and proud, I'm not even sure he understands that he did wrong.

Perhaps you're right, I don't need to go out of my way. The friendship is over, even if we clear the air, there's just no place in my life for him now. That space is filled with other things.
 
Upvote 0

Kaonashi

If God is thy father, man is thy brother.
Jun 8, 2004
2,825
187
40
Denver
✟13,333.00
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Democrat
To be honest, I wouldn't but it's up to you, people like that generally aren't worth the trouble or the time because all they do is poison and drain you until you're as lifeless as they are. An actual friend would have stayed by your side, and actually listened instead of throwing a childish temper, and ending the friendship because suddenly you were no longer the "Perfect Sinless White Sculpture" that his kind likes to be associated with. I'd shake hands and be polite during the wedding but draw the line at everything else.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gnarwhal
Upvote 0

ReesePiece23

The Peanut Buttery Member.
Sep 17, 2013
5,790
5,260
33
✟286,418.00
Faith
Christian
I'd leave it for now. You sound as if you're doing really well for yourself, with all of the potential in the world to move on to bigger and better things - so with that said, do you really have time for the distractions?

This isn't to say that you NEVER build bridges, but it doesn't have to be NOW. Life has a funny way of sorting these things out organically anyway, so it's best not to rush into anything, especially if it risks hurting the progress you're making currently.

This friend of yours also sounds as if he's suffering with some sort of God Complex. He needs to remember that his duty is to be a friend and not your master. Going to hell for getting a divorce? Ha! Another case of Adam and the fig leaves no doubt.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Gnarwhal
Upvote 0

Shattered-Reflections

Saved by Grace
Nov 13, 2008
1,386
219
✟10,131.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Libertarian
So what do you think? Is the onus on me to fix things with this guy? Or is it on him?

According to what you said, you did nothing wrong to him in the context of this friendship and he broke off the friendship. It's not your responsibility to mend it, it's his. His issue isn't that your actions wronged him but your life choices in how you handled your marriage as a Christian. How can you apologize for that? How you handled your marriage is something you have to sort out for yourself with God, but it's not this friend's problem to solve. He can have an opinion and have convictions and openly discuss them, but you are accountable for your own life. If he feels he cannot "fellowship" with you because he believes you aren't living as a christian, that's his perspective and choice. You can't change his perspective or his heart just as he can't change you. Wrong or right, his choice to leave the friendship is his responsibility.

You also mentioned you had tired to mend things before but it fell through when you started dating? So it's not that you haven't reached out or work things out, am I wrong?

Now of course that doesn't mean you shouldn't forgive him in your heart, but it's not your place to set him straight and get him to forgive you. By all means, let go and treat him as a man who has been forgiven whenever you happen to meet. But leave the situation in God's hand, let God deal with him and his heart in the way needed, and let the Spirit convict him when the time is right. But if the day comes where he asks for your forgiveness, don't give him hell but be an example of Christ.

Until he's ready to make amends, addressing the situation even with the best intentions is like poking at a dragon. You'll either get burned or eaten alive. So I say, don't bring it up. If he brings it up only to argue, then choose to not engage and walk away if necessary. If he need resolution, then talk.

We've all make choices and decisions to the best of our understanding. Just know, he himself is just struggle with what's right and wrong and how to best navigate through life.

Letting go of this friendship is probably God sent grace. I've had to let go of a lot of "friends" over the years and while it hurt for a time I honestly have no regrets.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

TheOliveSeed

0-_-0
Dec 6, 2009
2,197
298
Canada
✟15,332.00
Country
Canada
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
You're only going to reinforce his behaviour if you do that and he's never going to grow up. He should be the one to approach you to mend fences and/or apologize, as you did nothing wrong. You and your ex-wife made the best decision for yourselves. He didn't have to agree with it but ending your friendship over that is cray, especially at a time when you needed a friend the most. He kinda made it all about him and what he wanted you to do. If, after a year and a half, he is still too stubborn to let go of his pride to admit that he was wrong and how his behaviour might've hurt you - as a friend, then the friendship obviously didn't and still doesn't mean anything to him. You can forgive him in your heart, if you haven't. I think the fact that you want to mend fences shows you have. I just don't think you should be the one to initiate the conversation, considering what he said and how he has removed himself from your life since.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

Messy

Well-Known Member
Jan 30, 2011
10,027
2,082
Holland
✟21,082.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I had a friend like that from church. I was living together with another guy after the split up (not even divorced officially), she came in with her husband and kids, when they saw the two computers, tv, they noticed that we were living together, they didn't know how fast they could go, didn't even put off their jacket and left, didn't want to expose the kids to that filth I suppose. Then later trying to get you to their church, lol.
Later after I was converted again and that relationship was over I emailed her, trying to make things right, but didn't hear anything anymore. Well at least I did my part.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

quietpraiyze

In The Secret Place
Nov 18, 2011
2,159
813
✟93,590.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
So what do you think? Is the onus on me to fix things with this guy? Or is it on him?


[FONT=Georgia, serif]To me this seems more about you having unresolved issues in never having told this individual how they really hurt you, so this is my thought. Write it out. Write out everything you feel you need to say to this person and then be prepared to send it via email, snail mail, etc [/FONT][FONT=Georgia, serif]after[/FONT][FONT=Georgia, serif] the wedding OR tear the letter up. Be prepared to share the letter if that's what you really want to do. [/FONT][FONT=Georgia, serif]The other thing to consider is just like you have changed, he may have changed. Do you know what's been going on in his life? If not then don't assume. Do you forgive this person? Even if you don't choose for this person to be in your life, you still have to forgive him for the hurt he inflicted. Even if he was trying to follow the Word, what you described sounded very legalistic and lacked mercy. It might be helpful for him to hear what you experienced from him during that time and how he affected you. If you do choose to write it out, do it prayerfully. Pray for yourself and pray for him. If all you're seeking is “closure” do you really need to talk to your former friend to have that?[/FONT]

 
Upvote 0

keith99

sola dosis facit venenum
Jan 16, 2008
22,884
6,556
71
✟318,690.00
Faith
Atheist
Marital Status
Single
If you ever want to be friends with him again you are going to have to take the first step, and the second step and the third. And short of giving in to his views and being celibate for the rest of your life I doubt there is enough you can do to make him satisfied.

What is honestly the best chance for you to ever be friends again is for him to end up in the shoes you were in. That may or may not ever happen. Since birds of a feather flock together I'd guess most if not all of his current friends share his views. If he ever ends up in your shoes he may be friendless.

Just a thought. As things stand now it seems you would be apt to accept him back as a friend at that point. If you instead try to mend fences now you just might use up what is left of your ability to forgive when you are slapped in the face again.
 
Upvote 0

Gnarwhal

☩ Broman Catholic ☩
Oct 31, 2008
20,373
12,069
36
N/A
✟423,673.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Libertarian
To be honest, I wouldn't but it's up to you, people like that generally aren't worth the trouble or the time because all they do is poison and drain you until you're as lifeless as they are. An actual friend would have stayed by your side, and actually listened instead of throwing a childish temper, and ending the friendship because suddenly you were no longer the "Perfect Sinless White Sculpture" that his kind likes to be associated with. I'd shake hands and be polite during the wedding but draw the line at everything else.

I agree with you, that a friend would have stayed by my side. Which is why the whole situation utterly baffled me. We've known each other since we were practically toddlers, and while our friendship was weak until we got out of high school, we were pretty close thereafter. I considered him like a brother, and he felt the same way (or so he said).

I'm inclined to think that his mentor had a lot to do with it. It's hard to describe the guy without saying terrible things, but he's power hungry and craves authority. He started a young adults group at my [old] church several years ago and he exerted a ton of control over those who participated. He even owned a house that a few of the guys could rent out, and even though he didn't live in that house he enforced curfews (these are twenty-somethings by the way) and established a slew of gender rules for the household that were way over-the-top.

I never joined the group for a number of reasons. I'm fairly certain it's this guys influence that really pushed my friend to the point that he did what he did.

I'd leave it for now. You sound as if you're doing really well for yourself, with all of the potential in the world to move on to bigger and better things - so with that said, do you really have time for the distractions?

This isn't to say that you NEVER build bridges, but it doesn't have to be NOW. Life has a funny way of sorting these things out organically anyway, so it's best not to rush into anything, especially if it risks hurting the progress you're making currently.

This friend of yours also sounds as if he's suffering with some sort of God Complex. He needs to remember that his duty is to be a friend and not your master. Going to hell for getting a divorce? Ha! Another case of Adam and the fig leaves no doubt.

That's a good point, he and I both may need more time to heal or recognize our actions. There may yet be a point in the future when it would be more apropos to reach out, or maybe he would do it.

He did seem to be radiating some kind of messianic halo when he chewed me out. At one point in this multi-day tirade he implied he was guilty by association and somehow I was dragging him down to hell with him. ^_^

According to what you said, you did nothing wrong to him in the context of this friendship and he broke off the friendship. It's not your responsibility to mend it, it's his. His issue isn't that your actions wronged him but your life choices in how you handled your marriage as a Christian. How can you apologize for that? How you handled your marriage is something you have to sort out for yourself with God, but it's not this friend's problem to solve. He can have an opinion and have convictions and openly discuss them, but you are accountable for your own life. If he feels he cannot "fellowship" with you because he believes you aren't living as a christian, that's his perspective and choice. You can't change his perspective or his heart just as he can't change you. Wrong or right, his choice to leave the friendship is his responsibility.

You also mentioned you had tired to mend things before but it fell through when you started dating? So it's not that you haven't reached out or work things out, am I wrong?

Now of course that doesn't mean you shouldn't forgive him in your heart, but it's not your place to set him straight and get him to forgive you. By all means, let go and treat him as a man who has been forgiven whenever you happen to meet. But leave the situation in God's hand, let God deal with him and his heart in the way needed, and let the Spirit convict him when the time is right. But if the day comes where he asks for your forgiveness, don't give him hell but be an example of Christ.

Until he's ready to make amends, addressing the situation even with the best intentions is like poking at a dragon. You'll either get burned or eaten alive. So I say, don't bring it up. If he brings it up only to argue, then choose to not engage and walk away if necessary. If he need resolution, then talk.

We've all make choices and decisions to the best of our understanding. Just know, he himself is just struggle with what's right and wrong and how to best navigate through life.

Letting go of this friendship is probably God sent grace. I've had to let go of a lot of "friends" over the years and while it hurt for a time I honestly have no regrets.

First of all, great post.

Um, well it wasn't that we tried to patch things up before because at that point they didn't need patching. What happened was that the month after my wife and I separated, he sat me down on three separate occasions (because apparently that's in scripture? I think he was following a very skewed understanding of Matthew 18v15-17 where it describes three separate means of confronting sin) and tried to debate my reasoning for divorce. He didn't budge, and maintained that my divorce wasn't justified and therefore as long as I remained "divorced" I was perpetually in sin.

The first time he brought it up, he was anxious as all get-out. I thanked him and told him I appreciated his boldness to express his position on the matter, but I told him (nicely) that it was a decision that couldn't and wouldn't be reversed because it was for the best. I thought it was that. The second time, he came at me with the fury of a thousand suns and tore me a new one, in front of a Starbucks no less. He confronted me a third time, but after the second lashing I was pretty jaded by that point.

Since I wasn't complying with his wishes, he asked me if I would agree to a mediated discussion with a mutually approved pastor. I did, and we met at church with one of the associate pastors. The meeting lasted about an hour and everything seemed hunky-dory after that. So I assumed we had agreed to disagree, and I had my friends back. This was in December 2013.

About a month later is when he texted me out of the blue to go to coffee in the evening. That's when he told me he couldn't hang out with me anymore, per 1 Corinthians 5:11.

So from one perspective, our meeting with the pastor might have seemed like a reconciliation, but it seemed more like a "fourth meeting" but where he was more amiable to understanding my side of things. It's possible he thought the reverse was going to happen, but it didn't.

Anyway, I know all of that was redundant, but I don't think we have/had tried reconciling yet.

I'm pretty sure I have forgiven him, I always question myself in these matters though ("did I really forgive him?"). I think since I don't really feel anger, just residual pain from him and pity for him. I know his life hasn't really proceeded in any way whatsoever. I stopped following him on Facebook, but my parents still do, and sometimes I hear about his latest issues (same problems he had years ago, i.e. no place to live, jobless, etc). It's hard to put my ego aside and recognize I'm not better than him, I struggle daily with that. I think I've managed to forgive him but it's something I also consciously work on every day.

You're only going to reinforce his behaviour if you do that and he's never going to grow up. He should be the one to approach you to mend fences and/or apologize, as you did nothing wrong. You and your ex-wife made the best decision for yourselves. He didn't have to agree with it but ending your friendship over that is cray, especially at a time when you needed a friend the most. He kinda made it all about him and what he wanted you to do. If, after a year and a half, he is still too stubborn to let go of his pride to admit that he was wrong and how his behaviour might've hurt you - as a friend, then the friendship obviously didn't and still doesn't mean anything to him. You can forgive him in your heart, if you haven't. I think the fact that you want to mend fences shows you have. I just don't think you should be the one to initiate the conversation, considering what he said and how he has removed himself from your life since.

I think you're right, if I were to be the one to reach out it might affirm his actions and communicate to him that he did the right thing by ending our friendship.

I guess we'll see how he acts at the wedding, if he goes.

I had a friend like that from church. I was living together with another guy after the split up (not even divorced officially), she came in with her husband and kids, when they saw the two computers, tv, they noticed that we were living together, they didn't know how fast they could go, didn't even put off their jacket and left, didn't want to expose the kids to that filth I suppose. Then later trying to get you to their church, lol.
Later after I was converted again and that relationship was over I emailed her, trying to make things right, but didn't hear anything anymore. Well at least I did my part.

Yeah, as if sin were contagious, right? That notion is so archaic, and it really flushes out the sanctimonious, doesn't it?
 
Upvote 0

Gnarwhal

☩ Broman Catholic ☩
Oct 31, 2008
20,373
12,069
36
N/A
✟423,673.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Libertarian
[FONT=Georgia, serif]To me this seems more about you having unresolved issues in never having told this individual how they really hurt you, so this is my thought. Write it out. Write out everything you feel you need to say to this person and then be prepared to send it via email, snail mail, etc [/FONT][FONT=Georgia, serif]after[/FONT][FONT=Georgia, serif] the wedding OR tear the letter up. Be prepared to share the letter if that's what you really want to do. [/FONT][FONT=Georgia, serif]The other thing to consider is just like you have changed, he may have changed. Do you know what's been going on in his life? If not then don't assume. Do you forgive this person? Even if you don't choose for this person to be in your life, you still have to forgive him for the hurt he inflicted. Even if he was trying to follow the Word, what you described sounded very legalistic and lacked mercy. It might be helpful for him to hear what you experienced from him during that time and how he affected you. If you do choose to write it out, do it prayerfully. Pray for yourself and pray for him. If all you're seeking is “closure” do you really need to talk to your former friend to have that?[/FONT]

Someone else suggested I write a letter too, I think that's a great idea since I'm more adept to communicating through the written word than through speaking. I can concisely express that I was hurt, but I forgive him and I'm moving on. But I'll sit on it and decide whether to send it to him or not.

It certainly felt as though he was without mercy. Had this been 18th century France I think he would've let the guillotine fall. Any of my other Christian friends who have been privy to these events have been full of grace and compassion, I don't know why he had to be such an outlier. I just come back to his own baggage and the negative influence of his mentor. :|
If you ever want to be friends with him again you are going to have to take the first step, and the second step and the third. And short of giving in to his views and being celibate for the rest of your life I doubt there is enough you can do to make him satisfied.

What is honestly the best chance for you to ever be friends again is for him to end up in the shoes you were in. That may or may not ever happen. Since birds of a feather flock together I'd guess most if not all of his current friends share his views. If he ever ends up in your shoes he may be friendless.

Just a thought. As things stand now it seems you would be apt to accept him back as a friend at that point. If you instead try to mend fences now you just might use up what is left of your ability to forgive when you are slapped in the face again.

You're probably right. It may not be likely that he changed, I figured as much anyway given that he hasn't reached out at all.
 
Upvote 0

keith99

sola dosis facit venenum
Jan 16, 2008
22,884
6,556
71
✟318,690.00
Faith
Atheist
Marital Status
Single
You're probably right. It may not be likely that he changed, I figured as much anyway given that he hasn't reached out at all.

Of course I think I'm right.

But with some additional information you gave after my post I want to modify things a bit.

I think you are right about the mentor. Before I said I see little hope until he walks in your shoes. I want to modify that. If he breaks from that mentor there is hope. If you hear he has that may well be the time to reach out. And realize if he even starts to make such a break he has taken a huge step, one that deserves a big step on your part (even though his step most likely would not be specifically about your friendship).
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Elliewaves

Untouchable internet saint
Dec 18, 2011
2,124
2,032
✟97,387.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Engaged
Sometimes you just have to let people go….. I don't think you have any obligation to try and go out of the way to mend things. You didn't "break" the friendship, he did; so I do't think it's up to you to "fix" it. Forgive in your heart and be cordial at the wedding if you run into him.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Gnarwhal

☩ Broman Catholic ☩
Oct 31, 2008
20,373
12,069
36
N/A
✟423,673.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Libertarian
my mistake, I thought you were going to try to find a time to take him aside during the party.

Oh no, not at all. My fear is that he might though, since he's exhibited antisocial behavior before, I thought talking to him ahead of time might cut any of that off at the pass.
 
Upvote 0