How 'bout them Duggars?

bluegreysky · Apr 22, 2015

Some of my most baby-obsessed facebook friends seem to fawn over the Duggars and their family that grows at an alarming rate.
I always see their updates get posted to people's feeds every time one of them gets married or has a pregnancy 5 minutes later.

I know that the parents, who started having all these kids back in the 80's, are part of a group called the "Quiverfulls", a Southern-baptist sect type thing where the marriages center around that bible verse about kids being "arrows in your quiver for when you need to fight off the enemy"
and so the wife becomes a homemaker and not only does the couple not practice birth control, they also try to get pregnant as much as they can resulting in a baby about every 2 years sometimes less.

But what about the kids? The grown kids were given someone to court when they reached age 19 or 20 and were engaged and married off quickly. Then, they announced a baby months later.
Somehow, I don't think they would be doing it like that if it weren't for fame and TLC paying their bills?
Like, sure the parents would encourage them to get married young and have short engagements, but I think the babies would come at a slower rate if it weren't for the limelight.

What do you think?

HerCrazierHalf · Apr 22, 2015

I'm not sure the kids do it for the publicity. They live in a rural area and their interactions with those of decenting views are rather limited. Though I wonder if they are truly happy going this route or if such marriage arrangements are the only way for them to gracefully leave the home.

Also, it doesn't appear as if they get to date astound in the same way that most people do. My understanding is that for the most part they get to date who the father allows. It's almost as if the women at least go from being under their dad to under their husband.

bluegreysky · Apr 22, 2015

Wanna bet someone suddenly has a meltdown and goes on a total rampage?

Odetta · Apr 22, 2015

I don't think it has anything to do with the income from TLC. I think it has everything to do with the beliefs that they hold.

What I've noticed is that they seem to have all compliant children. Maybe they do have strong-willed children, children who want to be different/make different choices, but they just don't publicize them. As a parent who has the challenges of dealing with a special needs kid and a strong-willed, beat of his own drum kid, their kids seem like angels. 19+ kids, all angels. What are the odds? I, too, am casually wondering if a kid will ever rebel, and what the parents will do if that happens.

Also, isn't there a Duggar girl, older, who is not on the show? Maybe I'm getting them confused with the Robertsons.

annafullofgrace · Apr 22, 2015

Perhaps, you should read their books. Not everything said online is true. They are very honest in their books. They are not part of the quiver full movement either...that's a misconception. Their dad doesn't pick their spouses...I guess you'd have to understand what courting is...my husband asked for my hand. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with it. I guess I just don't see why so many get so bothered by their family dynamics.

Armoured · Apr 22, 2015

bluegreysky said:
Wanna bet someone suddenly has a meltdown and goes on a total rampage?

Statistically speaking, at least one of them is almost certainly gay. I've never watched the show, but I'd pay to be a fly on the wall for THAT family moment.

Inkachu · Apr 22, 2015

bluegreysky said:
Some of my most baby-obsessed facebook friends seem to fawn over the Duggars and their family that grows at an alarming rate.
I always see their updates get posted to people's feeds every time one of them gets married or has a pregnancy 5 minutes later.

I know that the parents, who started having all these kids back in the 80's, are part of a group called the "Quiverfulls", a Southern-baptist sect type thing where the marriages center around that bible verse about kids being "arrows in your quiver for when you need to fight off the enemy"
and so the wife becomes a homemaker and not only does the couple not practice birth control, they also try to get pregnant as much as they can resulting in a baby about every 2 years sometimes less.

But what about the kids? The grown kids were given someone to court when they reached age 19 or 20 and were engaged and married off quickly. Then, they announced a baby months later.
Somehow, I don't think they would be doing it like that if it weren't for fame and TLC paying their bills?
Like, sure the parents would encourage them to get married young and have short engagements, but I think the babies would come at a slower rate if it weren't for the limelight.

What do you think?

I don't find their family or lifestyle "alarming" at all. They're self-sufficient, happy, law-abiding people. They don't live this way for fame, they had what, 14 children already before their show even began?

None of them are forced into the lifestyle. The kids can grow up and move away and be whoever they choose to be. If they want big, happy, loving families, more power to them.

Inkachu · Apr 22, 2015

Armoured said:
Statistically speaking, at least one of them is almost certainly gay. I've never watched the show, but I'd pay to be a fly on the wall for THAT family moment.

WhatEVER.

Bobthemotorcycle · Apr 22, 2015

annafullofgrace · Apr 22, 2015

It doesn't sound like you know very much about them at all. Only what the rumors are that float around about them. Families can learn a think or two from the Duggars. Who cares how many kids they have, they are polite and enjoy doing ministry to serve The Lord.

We didn't use birth control either and let as many babies come as The Lord would provide. Granted we only have three - which are back to back babies - three hard pregnancies, it wasn't wise to have more-still no birth control. We used to get the same comments.

All the negative comments I see about them reminds me of what Jesus said in John 15-If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.

bluegreysky said:
Some of my most baby-obsessed facebook friends seem to fawn over the Duggars and their family that grows at an alarming rate.
I always see their updates get posted to people's feeds every time one of them gets married or has a pregnancy 5 minutes later.

I know that the parents, who started having all these kids back in the 80's, are part of a group called the "Quiverfulls", a Southern-baptist sect type thing where the marriages center around that bible verse about kids being "arrows in your quiver for when you need to fight off the enemy"
and so the wife becomes a homemaker and not only does the couple not practice birth control, they also try to get pregnant as much as they can resulting in a baby about every 2 years sometimes less.

But what about the kids? The grown kids were given someone to court when they reached age 19 or 20 and were engaged and married off quickly. Then, they announced a baby months later.
Somehow, I don't think they would be doing it like that if it weren't for fame and TLC paying their bills?
Like, sure the parents would encourage them to get married young and have short engagements, but I think the babies would come at a slower rate if it weren't for the limelight.

What do you think?

RedPonyDriver · Apr 22, 2015

The biggest problem I have with the Duggars is that they do not support any real education for their children. My brother and his wife were fans of the Duggars and looked into the homeschool materials they used and found them quite lacking. The Advanced Training Institute they belong to is rather strange...uses scripture WAY out of context. When my brother and his family were getting into it, my husband and I were looking into adoption and they showed me a book from the "Basic Seminar" that talked about adoption not being "godly"...it was weird.

Essentially, the Duggars got sucked into a cult. Those kids are ill-equipped to deal with the real world.

Dave-W · Apr 23, 2015

RedPonyDriver said:
The biggest problem I have with the Duggars is that they do not support any real education for their children. My brother and his wife were fans of the Duggars and looked into the homeschool materials they used and found them quite lacking. The Advanced Training Institute they belong to is rather strange...uses scripture WAY out of context. When my brother and his family were getting into it, my husband and I were looking into adoption and they showed me a book from the "Basic Seminar" that talked about adoption not being "godly"...it was weird.

Essentially, the Duggars got sucked into a cult. Those kids are ill-equipped to deal with the real world.

I have never seen their program (other than ads) but from what I have heard over the years, from both fans and those who dislike them, that they are into something similar to Bill Gothard's bizzare doctrinal stances. Gothardism has some cult-like attributes.

annafullofgrace · Apr 23, 2015

Q: Are the Duggars part of the QuiverFull movement?
A: The Duggars write in their second book, A Love That Multiplies: "Even though Wikipedia and some Internet blogs report that we are part of a QuiverFull movement, we are not. We are simply Bible-believing Christians who desire to follow God's Word and apply it to our lives" (page 92).

Inkachu · Apr 23, 2015

RedPonyDriver said:
The biggest problem I have with the Duggars is that they do not support any real education for their children. My brother and his wife were fans of the Duggars and looked into the homeschool materials they used and found them quite lacking. The Advanced Training Institute they belong to is rather strange...uses scripture WAY out of context. When my brother and his family were getting into it, my husband and I were looking into adoption and they showed me a book from the "Basic Seminar" that talked about adoption not being "godly"...it was weird.

Essentially, the Duggars got sucked into a cult. Those kids are ill-equipped to deal with the real world.

So, they're all living in some kind of fake, dysfunctional world? They're all self-supporting, happy, productive citizens. I'm failing to see how "ill-equipped" they are.

bluegreysky · Apr 23, 2015

I dunno. The one couple having 19 or 20 kids doesn't really bother me so much as the fact that the adult ones were married off young and immediatley started procreating ASAP. To me, from the outside, between their extremely conservative belief system and their procreation rate they look like a human puppy mill....

Maybe If I actually met them that would be different, somehow I just dont think a woman who grows up in a crowded home until 19, never gets to live on her own, and gets married to a man her dad picked out and then 2 months later gets pregnant can really truly be happy or free to know her identity... in God or in herself.
They just don't know any different because that's all they know.
If they were exposed to other people and communities and Christians they would realize alot of us had all of the above- the few years on their own out of the parents' home, the marriage to someone God chose but we also chose, the freedom to be married and enjoy him but not have kids right away....

South Bound · Apr 23, 2015

bluegreysky said:
I know that the parents, who started having all these kids back in the 80's, are part of a group called the "Quiverfulls", a Southern-baptist sect type thing

While I'm sure there are Southern Baptists who are part of this movement, what gave you the idea that this is a "Southern Baptist sect type thing"?

and so the wife becomes a homemaker and not only does the couple not practice birth control, they also try to get pregnant as much as they can resulting in a baby about every 2 years sometimes less.

It isn't that they try to get pregnant as much a they can, it's just that they don't use contraceptives.

But what about the kids? The grown kids were given someone to court when they reached age 19 or 20 and were engaged and married off quickly. Then, they announced a baby months later.

I don't believe they were "given somebody" and how do you know it was "quickly" and "months later"? You realize that television shows aren't produced in real time, right?

How long should someone court before they're married? My wife and I didn't court, but we dated for about six months. My oldest daughter, who was just married, and her now-husband courted for about a year.

Somehow, I don't think they would be doing it like that if it weren't for fame and TLC paying their bills?

You realize that the only reason they got the show in the first place is that they were already doing this, right?

Like, sure the parents would encourage them to get married young and have short engagements, but I think the babies would come at a slower rate if it weren't for the limelight.

How young is "young"?

What do you think?

I think you make a lot of unfair and baseless assumptions.

bluegreysky said:
I dunno. The one couple having 19 or 20 kids doesn't really bother me so much as the fact that the adult ones were married off young and immediatley started procreating ASAP.

So, how long after a couple is married do you think they should wait to have sex?

I just dont think a woman who grows up in a crowded home until 19, never gets to live on her own, and gets married to a man her dad picked out and then 2 months later gets pregnant can really truly be happy or free to know her identity... in God or in herself.

You haven't explained why you believe her father picked out her husband or why you believe she got pregnant two months later.

South Bound · Apr 23, 2015

HerCrazierHalf said:
I'm not sure the kids do it for the publicity. They live in a rural area and their interactions with those of decenting views are rather limited.

How do you know this? We live in a far more rural area than they do and we have people here who have different views.

Also, it doesn't appear as if they get to date astound in the same way that most people do. My understanding is that for the most part they get to date who the father allows. It's almost as if the women at least go from being under their dad to under their husband.

It's the same in our house.

annafullofgrace said:
Their dad doesn't pick their spouses...I guess you'd have to understand what courting is...my husband asked for my hand. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with it. I guess I just don't see why so many get so bothered by their family dynamics.

I don't either. I didn't pick my daughter's husband, but I did mentor him before they got married.

With half of marriages ending in divorce, boys growing up without fathers, "men" living in their mother's basement playing video games until they're thirty, and more out of wedlock births than ever before, you'd think they'd get the idea that the way our society is approaching sex and relationships isn't working.

So, yeah, doing it the Biblical way may appear strange to some people, but we're glad we did.

RedPonyDriver said:
The biggest problem I have with the Duggars is that they do not support any real education for their children.

And your evidence for this is...? What's your idea of "real education"?

Essentially, the Duggars got sucked into a cult. Those kids are ill-equipped to deal with the real world.

Do you have evidence for this? Or are you just engaging in more gossip and slander?

annafullofgrace · Apr 23, 2015

Did you just compare their women to a overpopulated puppy mill?? Wow.

Do you realize they do missionary work all over the world? They are first responders, business owners, midwives and their older daughters mentor troubled girls in prison. How are they not exposed to the 'real world'?

Their parents do not pick their spouses. That's hogwash. I would rather a couple have 30 kids who are raised to serve The Lord, than see all these kids on social media constantly looking for a place to belong. Men acting like boys and young women posting half naked pics on social media to get a reaction. My husband and I run a Christian youth group and we see it every day!

Why are people so bothered by them? Who cares? And how do Christians pick on other Christians?

Romans 12:5
5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

bluegreysky said:
I dunno. The one couple having 19 or 20 kids doesn't really bother me so much as the fact that the adult ones were married off young and immediatley started procreating ASAP. To me, from the outside, between their extremely conservative belief system and their procreation rate they look like a human puppy mill....

Maybe If I actually met them that would be different, somehow I just dont think a woman who grows up in a crowded home until 19, never gets to live on her own, and gets married to a man her dad picked out and then 2 months later gets pregnant can really truly be happy or free to know her identity... in God or in herself.
They just don't know any different because that's all they know.
If they were exposed to other people and communities and Christians they would realize alot of us had all of the above- the few years on their own out of the parents' home, the marriage to someone God chose but we also chose, the freedom to be married and enjoy him but not have kids right away....

ananda · Apr 23, 2015

Doesn't the Bible teach that the parents are supposed to teach and bring up children? How are the Duggars doing that if they have child after child and assigns each to a surrogate parent (an older sibling), and must schedule time ahead of time for interaction with their children?

annafullofgrace · Apr 23, 2015

As for the father giving permission or his gracious consent, it is the same in our house. We are not raising our children to be okay with sleeping and dating around. Sex is for marriage and unless they are in a position to take responsibly of raising a baby, they need not be doing it. Ready, meaning being married.

We did not use contraceptions either. We also got pregnant right away, and right away again and again. What's wrong with that?

South bound-I agree wholeheartedly! I have two brothers going through divorces right now. It's so sad to me that they won't even give it a try. Throw in the towel when things get tough. Neither have been married more than 5 years. And children are involved. Society has distorted what a family should be. One has told me-he just doesn't want to be tied down anymore. That is not a man.

We were not raised with a father. He left us when we were little. I had an amazing godly man of God as my godfather and father figure. I thank The Lord for him, he was such an example of what a man should be and what I am worth....far more than rubies. And my husband asked him for my hand.

How 'bout them Duggars?

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