Wow that was an interesting read. I'll try and field this one.
All I can think about is the coming days when believers even in America will be tortured, beaten and killed. I look at all of the Christians around the world who are going through this, and not only am I extremely scared
You're NOT gonna be persecuted in this country. Not even close. We're not a theocracy and that's why you're safe. If we were a theocracy then you'd be killed for working on Sunday. Relax.
I'm afraid of losing my job for witnessing at work (which I don't do but feel pressured to do).
As for witnessing at work. That can be annoying and reduce productivity. Your job is most likely NOT to witness. So I can understand you fearing being terminated. People can also say you're harassing them because it is technically disturbing if they're not on board with you if you get my drift. Companies like productivity, productivity brings revenue. If your witnessing and not bringing in the revenue I'd fire you too.
I'm afraid to go up to strangers and witness because they might beat me up.
As for witnessing on the street. Take me for an example. Everyday layman. I work two jobs, go to school for computer science and repair tech. I work 50-70 hours a week. Couple that with study time and ATTEMPTING a social life. I'm very tired. I don't have time to do much considering whatever down time I have is involuntarily taken up by sleep. If I'm walking down the street, don't witness to me. I'm already very very tired and most likely cranky. Me being a generally mild individual I'll most likely rudely pass you, or if I'm feeling vindictive I'll start discussing with you.
And to give you a ballpark of what discussing religion with me is like I've made Jehovah's witnesses leave my doorstep 3 times the same day with just words.
But when you see a street preacher on the street they're generally not bothered by people. People walk past them because they've got things to do. Your paranoia seems to be making you think that people only wander the streets to beat up Christians. And where you got that idea is anyone's guess. The most you'll get is when people yell at you back. If someone tries beat you up there are so many people (including myself) who'll jump in to help.
Because we care.
Yes, theologically, I disagree with you. But if someone is threatening your right to speak out on what you believe I'll be right there defending you even if you call me a hellbound sinner. Because I believe you have the right to do so.
Now if said person happens to be a cop, I'm a black guy... so you're on your own.
but I'm also angry at God that He would choose this for His children and want this to be the way we prove our worth to Him and how he wants the church to grow.
Prove your worth? What? Calm yourself, friend. I doubt this god of yours would disenfranchise and segregate you like that. But I don't know maybe you know something I don't.
Your paranoia is unfounded and I recommend just going out and having fun. Let loose. Get a group of friends. Go get sloppy drunk and laugh at the pictures people took of you at the party. Go hiking. Walk in nature. Go running. Ease your mind.
Take your mind OFF God and put it on yourself. Would he crucify you for not thinking about him every second of the day? Would he hate you for loving yourself for a bit?
Advice from a friend.
~GKG