what are you feeling right now? (23)

Fortran · Mar 16, 2015

chaoticfirefly said:
There's no openings elsewhere. I've asked to be moved multiple times, put in my current interests to be moved anywhere in the store since I'm trained in most places, but still nothing. I finally told my manager tonight that I'm really just done caring. I cannot feel a thing anymore in regards to the stupid place, and even life in general. I dread going in on a daily basis, and have started to wake up from panic attacks because of how bad that place is.

I am just so exhausted.

I am truly sorry to hear that you are unhappy with your place of employment; I think such a situation can take a tremendous toll on both one's physical and psychological well-being. I have been in a similar situation. I struggled so much with dreading going to work and no longer caring about my performance. This was mixed with self-loathing for being so ungrateful for what I truly hold to be a blessing, and, in all honesty, a fair bit of bitterness. Bitterness at the fact that I felt I was practically forced to be both a full time student and still hold a job and, though I hate to admit it, bitterness at the fact that others seemed so carefree, especially at work. The only piece of advice I would offer is to look deeper. Why do you hate your job? Did you enjoy it at one time? If so, what changed - your job or something in your personal life perhaps? If changing the circumstance (the job) is not feasible, does there exist another possible action that is both feasible and capable of accomplishing positive change? Sorry, I wish I could offer more practical advice, but I simply lack that wisdom.

Keeping you and others here in my prayers.

Criada · Mar 16, 2015

Jeshu said:
Back again! After almost a week in hospital. I've been very ill when I developed a kidney stone while my kidneys were infected at the same time.

This in turn left me with blood poisoning a unbeknown to me this left me in serious condition.

No amount of morphine seemed to work, they reckoned they but enough in me to put an elephant down. Yet the pain was unbearable.

The pain was that bad that I didn't notice a thing. To busy spewing my guts up time and again, because at first the anti-nauseating medication wasn't working all the well. Quickly they carted me to an huge x-raying machine - like space tunnel - out of science fiction movie. They found the stone and the damage it had done to my kidney.

They worked this all out at Albany Hospital after my first night in emergency. Thumps up for the doctors nurse and staff who went out of there way to help me and ease my suffering.

Hasty they flown me with plane from Albany hospital to Perth, with Australia's Royal flying Doctor, because my life was in danger and they didn't have the expertise to treat me.

When I arrived at the hospital in Perth they operated on me that same evening. By that time my stone had passed and the pain had become bearable, they the stone found it in my bladder, it was 4.5 mm in diameter, no wonder it took the Mickey out of me.:o:o:o

The only problem was getting some sleep. I was in a high dependency unit, full of people that had just had open heart surgery. Great people, but so noisy with all these heart monitors going off all the time. Even with two sleeping tablets I slept very little.

I'm still not completely well and will have to take oral anti-biotic and rest at home until I get me energy back a bit.

The doctors and nurses all treated me superbly. I am so thankful to God for saving my life and for Yvonne my wife, who, dropped her work, and drove all the way to Perth and remained at my side for hours on end throughout the week. She is a gem. I love her a lot.

Good to be back again.

Psalm 145:1-3

I will exalt you, my God the King;
I will praise your name for ever and ever.
Every day I will praise you
and extol your name for ever and ever. Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.

Good to have you back, Gerry :hug:

I'm sorry you went through all that - praise God that you're ok.
Praying that you are back to full health very soon. :hug:

Criada · Mar 16, 2015

RuthD said:
I am having a better day today, thanks Jesus. I vacuumed 3 rooms so far. I'm amazed I can do something. I had been feeling like I couldn't do anything for a long time.

That's good to hear

Praying that it continues!

Criada · Mar 16, 2015

look4hope said:
Like crapola.
Perhaps a bit lower than that.

((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))
Sorry it's so tough sweetie.
Praying that God lifts you up and comforts you. : hug:

Criada · Mar 16, 2015

southernwonder said:
I have been gone a while. I got my first immune therapy treatment on Monday, which was highly anticipated. The meds made me feel a bit crazy for a few days.

I ended up sleeping all week and feeling more depressed. I am hoping the depression will not worsen.

Praying that things get better very soon! :hug:

Lily76_ · Mar 16, 2015

Scared am going to hell :lost:

STAYING_STRONG4HIM · Mar 16, 2015

I had my first Biblical counseling session today. It was very intense and it was so hard to open up with someone new. I think this is going to be really good for me but I know its going to be painful and hard at the same time.

MissRowy · Mar 16, 2015

You will get through it!
I am in a lot of pain with my stomach and just want to sleep. I don't have an appetite either. Need healing from the Lord

grandvizier1006 · Mar 16, 2015

STAYING_STRONG4HIM said:
I had my first Biblical counseling session today. It was very intense and it was so hard to open up with someone new. I think this is going to be really good for me but I know its going to be painful and hard at the same time.

Christian-based therapists are great for us Christians, naturally. My therapist is very reliable and very understanding of my issues in ways I thought he wouldn't be.

Lady Bug · Mar 16, 2015

life is so empty

aflower4God · Mar 16, 2015

Struggling with hating that guy who used me. Hate is NOT of God, that is what upsets me the most, is upsetting God.

Lady Bug · Mar 16, 2015

my ethnic fetish is going to cause me to be single forever

RuthD · Mar 17, 2015

chaoticfirefly said:
Relationships-especially marriage-are all about compromising, communication and an equal partnership. I know you don't want to, but for your own sake, you may have to go to a church alone. If you're miserable there, you're not gonna grow or learn to enjoy it. Trust me on this, I was forced to go to an abusive church that believes that all hope is lost and everyone is better off dead, also, for being born a female, you're automatically destined for hell and it did not help in shaping a positive thought and emotion about Christianity as a whole.

I really, really hope so. That kind of thing as an adult is really wrong, and is really creepy. Being set in ones ways isn't wrong, buut uhhhh. Sometimes, there are things that should be changed. I hope he doesn't have kids.

There's no openings elsewhere. I've asked to be moved multiple times, put in my current interests to be moved anywhere in the store since I'm trained in most places, but still nothing. I finally told my manager tonight that I'm really just done caring. I cannot feel a thing anymore in regards to the stupid place, and even life in general. I dread going in on a daily basis, and have started to wake up from panic attacks because of how bad that place is.

I am just so exhausted.

Thank you for your kind response

but I'm gonna assume that Australian police is a lot difference from American police. Here, the cops can bully anyone and follow people for miles. I never feel safe around them, in fact, when I was in Houston, I felt safer being in gang territory than in any presence of the police. I dunno, I get there are bad cops and good cops, but with a lot of recent events (including some that reach me personally, looking at the irresponsible cops who brought my friends abusive ex boyfriend home after he beat her, broke a few things and punched a hole in the wall), I don't trust them anymore.

But you're right, I really shouldn't harbor hate and I've been trying my hardest not to hate anyone but it becomes a little difficult at times.

I'm sorry your job is so bad. I have felt hate and it was actually raging anger and I wanted to hurt this person but never would do it. I found it quite uncomfortalbe. I had to distance myself from this person. But how can you do that with cops. They are everywhere. Have you tried praying for them? That is supposed to help. I hope you will be doing better.

RuthD · Mar 17, 2015

MissRowy said:
You will get through it!
I am in a lot of pain with my stomach and just want to sleep. I don't have an appetite either. Need healing from the Lord

I'm sorry you are suffering. You are in my prayers.

RuthD · Mar 17, 2015

Angelsweep said:
Scared am going to hell

There is no proof of the existence of hell. Hell in a metaphorical sense can be living in misery and suffering. Try to get closer to Jesus, talk to him about your life and your fears. It is good you are reaching out here, too.

RuthD · Mar 17, 2015

aflower4God said:
Struggling with hating that guy who used me. Hate is NOT of God, that is what upsets me the most, is upsetting God.

We are human and human feel hate at times. Please don't beat yourself up about it, instead try praying for him and looking at him as being very defective.

RuthD · Mar 17, 2015

Lady Bug said:
life is so empty

RuthD · Mar 17, 2015

STAYING_STRONG4HIM said:
I had my first Biblical counseling session today. It was very intense and it was so hard to open up with someone new. I think this is going to be really good for me but I know its going to be painful and hard at the same time.

That's a good way to look at it. All the best to you in your healing.

Jeshu · Mar 17, 2015

chaoticfirefly said:
I am so tired of being tired. Like I'm in this forever state of exhaustion and no matter how much sleep I get, I'm still tired.

Yeah I've been through that quite a few times. Shocking. Watch out with the traffic and sit it out. The longest period it has been for me has been when they put me on teggratol, almost 2 years, the meds works good though. Don't feel it much at all now.

Yusuphhai · Mar 17, 2015

my father lives into the hospital today, maybe next week he will suffer the surgery, rejoining his small intestine.

May God burden our pain and suffering but give us Peace and Healing. :groupray:

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