Satan likes to play games with our heads. He dresses sin up and makes it look good. He deceives us. He makes us doubt our salvation.
God doesn't play games, especially NOT the kind of game you are involved in.
They(the ones you believe Make it hard to believe)come from Satan, not God.
Ask, and it shall be given to you. Seek, and you shall find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you. Doesn't get much simpler than that. : )