Swearing

Swearing in response to certain stimuli, especially things like discomfort or pain, is a very common coping mechanism.

Since it's used as a coping mechanism for many people, it can be very hard to break.

The only thing I can think of really just replaces the words, though. The inflection is still there, even though the word has gone from a "curse" word to an innocuous word. That might not be the solution you're looking for.

I wouldn't beat yourself up about swearing. I've been doing it since I was about 12-13. Although it has to be said that bad language is just a second language for Scots, not all but most.

<Staff Edit>

This boy went to church and was one of the kindest, most sensitive and God loving men that I had ever known. Don't let bad language change how you feel about God's love for you. If you're bothered by language for religious reasons, remember that no one is perfect in the eyes of God and He understands.

Take care.

Powerkitejunkie said:

I don't want to swear because God doesn't like it, but my mother and other situations make it hard for me, although I have a lot to be thankful for.

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I would think that if God is against it, it would be more about using words to hurt people rather than the words themselves. So, for example, if you hurl swears at your mother when you get in an argument, I think that would be a problem. Focus on the problem of wanting to insult someone, rather than the words themselves. I think it might be easier to fight the feelings of wanting to offend someone than it would be to take certain words out of your vocabulary completely.

Powerkitejunkie said:

Dear All,

I have been a Christian for 10 years now, and swearing is a weakness. Many days I go without swearing, but when I am either ill, very run down, frightened or frustrated, it seems to happen. In particular, my mother really irritates me, much as I love her, by saying outrageous things such as 'you are in debt' when I am not, and continually nagging me about work, after i have literally got off an aeroplane after having a taxing work tour where I have worked so hard that I have become ill. I don't want to swear because God doesn't like it, but my mother and other situations make it hard for me, although I have a lot to be thankful for.

Yes, I have prayed loads about it, but every few months or weeks or days, the old habits come back. Have gaestroentoritus at present and so my patience is thinner than usual...Advice please!

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I would agree with KitKatMatt ..... to try and replace the swear words. As hard as it might sound to do I believe you can do it. I had the very same problem and for me it was a due to a very bad lifestyle and some very difficult personal experiences that caused me to be highly offensive and vulgar.

There are scriptures on "unwholesome talk", and "filthy language" which should point you in the right direction of what God expects from you and also consider how much Jesus went through in his life without resorting to such.

Hope this helps.

Put a dollar in the jar whenever you swear and give all that you collect to someone else at the end of the day, every day. If there are no immediate consequences its hard to stop doing something like that.

God has forbidden blasphemy, not all cussing.

Gosh darn, dang, sugar, Minnesota farmer, fudge, Judas priest, jamoke, frick and frack are all pretty common substitutes.

Autumnleaf said:

Put a dollar in the jar whenever you swear and give all that you collect to someone else at the end of the day, every day. If there are no immediate consequences its hard to stop doing something like that.

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Yeah a penny a swear.

Scripture doesn't indicate that any one word can be inherently wrong, however it does indicate that we should live according to modern laws and customs, assuming doing so is in line with God's word. If for some random our society decided to make a few words always wrong, even if just to give people an excuse to yell at others about something, I guess we ought to fall in line. That's why I choose not to swear, though I find the whole idea ridiculous.

I agree, replace the words, use whatever substitute words you want! I don't curse, so it can be downright hilarious to see what comes out of my mouth sometimes (I often don't even know what I'm going to say lol). One of my favorites is "what the flim-flam!" lol. I also say "holy [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ake!" which is kinda borderline naughty, but oh so fun to say lol. And when I do slip up and actually say a bad word (pretty rare), I just repent and apologize and get on with life.

if swearing is going to hurt someone, or express our frustration, why say it?

be slow to speak, quick to listen

james 1 19.

be wise with your words, because the tounge

James 3:8 says the tounge is evil, and we say dumb things and can't tame it, its hard i know.

Powerkitejunkie said:

Ok...can anyone give me some really great words which aren't swear words but have the same amount of oomph behind them? Swear box is a good idea too...

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Peeved is a good word. Instead of saying I'm furious or mad or angry. Try saying, 'I'm peeved.' Most people can't say it with a straight face and it shatters the tension and dissipates the anger. How we define how we feel affects how we feel about ourselves and others.

Powerkitejunkie said:

Dear All,

I have been a Christian for 10 years now, and swearing is a weakness. Many days I go without swearing, but when I am either ill, very run down, frightened or frustrated, it seems to happen. In particular, my mother really irritates me, much as I love her, by saying outrageous things such as 'you are in debt' when I am not, and continually nagging me about work, after i have literally got off an aeroplane after having a taxing work tour where I have worked so hard that I have become ill. I don't want to swear because God doesn't like it, but my mother and other situations make it hard for me, although I have a lot to be thankful for.

Yes, I have prayed loads about it, but every few months or weeks or days, the old habits come back. Have gastroenteritis at present and so my patience is thinner than usual...Advice please!

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Hi Powerkitejunkie, I'm very sorry to hear you are so sick, and I hope you feel much better soon!

It's interesting to note that your swearing occurs most often when you are "either ill, very run down, frightened or frustrated", all times when it can be difficult to focus on God and walk according to His Spirit. It's almost like we become mad at God when things hurt or when we are tired ..

That said, there is an answer to your problem, but you probably aren't going to like it. It's Scripture Memorization, which, when done correctly, so fills your mind with God's word that it becomes a very difficult matter to sin, verbally or otherwise. Basically, you replace the junk in your mind with God's Word. Psalm 119:9,11 says:

"How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Thy word. Thy word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against Thee"​

It doesn't take a lot of time or effort as memorization usually involves learning just a couple of verses a week, but I won't kid you, it's not a lot of fun at first (since it's all about learning by repetition at that point). But when you start to understand and see how much it will benefit you spiritually, you will quickly begin to have a very different opinion of it.

PM me if you are interested, if you truly want to stop swearing, and I'll tell you how to get started.

Praying for you!

Yours and His,
David

I don't see it as an issue myself, but have found over time that I naturally do it less and less.

Actually, as a funny story, I went to a revival one time in Lakeland that I was leery about. I didn't trust in it, and read enough on here and afterwards (how I first came to Christian forums years back), to know I was right with my instinct. The funny thing back then was I sounded like a truck driver half the time with my language. When I was annointed with oil there, after that my natural inclination for awhile (like if stubbing a toe) was to spit out a bizarre word, swear substitute. Some of the stuff that flew out of my mouth was funny.

Swearing is about an overly emotive reaction trying to get the same from others. Its best not to, but most of us do it from time to time....in which case its best to make it as mild as is possible, maybe even to the point of making it a bit ludicrous in order to take the sting out.

Strong emotions are self-idolatry becase they are full to the brim with "MY will be done".

Just make a decision to stop swearing.

Every time you come to a moment where you feel like swearing ... exercise your free will to override your instinctual behavior, and just stop it. Self-training in this fashion will eventually make it into a habit, and the habit will become a behavior, and the behavior will become a trait and eventually an integral part of your character.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw

Ecclesia rull said:

If saying a naughty word is your biggest problem, you guys must look like the Tanners from Full House or the Cleavers from Leave It to Beaver. Must be nice to have such cute, little lives, oblivious to the rest of the real world.

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Yup.

Reminds me of Ned Flanders on Simpsons. Flanders hardly ever swears: nice clean guy by conservative evangelical standards but he has a dark sized in Treehouse of Horror episodes where he plays a dictator that enslaves and lobotomizes everyone in the name of his perpetual cheerful smirk, or when he is even revealed to be the devil himself. The point is, Flanders focuses on being nice but its hardly the standard of goodness God has. God sees beyond the smirk and the evangelical legalism to the real person.

In the situation you describe, swearing makes a statement that you are really serious, and frustrated that you can't get through to her.

It doesn't usually work, but at least helps you vent.

I mean, your mother didn't respond to your swearing with, "Oh I get it now, sorry to insult how you've managed your life."

Swearing often has the opposite result: "I can't believe she swore at me."
"She is hanging out with low-lifes now, and she didn't swear before when we raised her properly."

It often implies people feel they have lost control, when the speaker gets a rush of the opposite. In professional situations it's inappropriate, but not always. Sometimes it's still used to make friends, like it was when we were twelve.

But the real problem is that your mother is on your case, and doesn't grasp how hard you're trying.
(The last conversation I had with my parents before they died, I was conveying to my dad how hard I was trying to work on my career, and my mom walked in and snapped at me for not including her in the conversation...as though I were keeping something from her.)

Maybe you could tell her more about your trip, or your job. Usually parents are just afraid that their kids will have to struggle through life. They have endured a lot of pain themselves, and want to prevent that for their kids. Also at that age, they are realizing they only have a few years left themselves, to make money before they are unemployable. There will be fear in her voice, that will seem directed at you.

At the age of independence, most conversations between parent and child feel like parents are intruding and criticizing, and young adults are not listening. It's normal and common, and will likely improve.

Sorry you're under the weather and exhausted. I hope you can get some rest.

I wonder why we as Christians work so hard to extend a prohibition which is not found in Scripture.