What is marriage in the eyes of God?

BeautifulLove

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Most people here would say marriage in the eyes of the Lord is just that: marriage. An actual ceremony where you state publicly that you love someone and will remain faithful to them. It would be hard to accidentally get married that way!

My opinion differs and I think you can be married to someone without a ceremony: by being spiritually married or engaging in marriage practices before marriage. However, legal marriage is still obviously the best way to have no doubts!

I don't think you will have a problem with "accidentally" getting married unless you are putting yourself into some sort of situation that involves intimacy beyond friendship. Some see (me included) that once you cross boundaries, you are married to that person forever in some way or another. You become "one flesh." This may be where you fear accidentally getting married.

The simple answer is to stay away from anything that involves sexual intimacy until you are actually legally married. It is what God wants us to do. An easy way to view it is: Would I be okay with my future husband doing what I am doing or even feeling right now?
 
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ssammoh

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Most people here would say marriage in the eyes of the Lord is just that: marriage. An actual ceremony where you state publicly that you love someone and will remain faithful to them. It would be hard to accidentally get married that way!

My opinion differs and I think you can be married to someone without a ceremony: by being spiritually married or engaging in marriage practices before marriage. However, legal marriage is still obviously the best way to have no doubts!

I don't think you will have a problem with "accidentally" getting married unless you are putting yourself into some sort of situation that involves intimacy beyond friendship. Some see (me included) that once you cross boundaries, you are married to that person forever in some way or another. You become "one flesh." This may be where you fear accidentally getting married.

The simple answer is to stay away from anything that involves sexual intimacy until you are actually legally married. It is what God wants us to do. An easy way to view it is: Would I be okay with my future husband doing what I am doing or even feeling right now?

Thank you for your input.

1. What does "spiritually married" mean?
2. What are "marriage practices"?
3. I am not sure what you mean by "intimacy beyond friendship".
4. Where are the "boundaries"?

I am not planning on having sex or getting legally married.
 
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BeautifulLove

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Thank you for your input.

1. What does "spiritually married" mean?
2. What are "marriage practices"?
3. I am not sure what you mean by "intimacy beyond friendship".
4. Where are the "boundaries"?

I am not planning on having sex or getting legally married.

Spiritual marriage isn't the same as marriage by the state. It is usually done in a private church ceremony.

By marriage practices I'm just trying to give a polite form of saying sex, anything regarded as sexual (making out), or anything that pushes the boundaries. I'm referring to the same things when I say intimacy beyond friendship.

"The boundaries" are different for everyone. They are pretty much what YOU are okay with. What would God be okay with? I wouldn't want my husband having sex with someone else, or even making out with another girl before meeting me. Boundaries to me are anything that make you appear to be legally or spiritually married when you aren't.
 
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ssammoh

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Spiritual marriage isn't the same as marriage by the state. It is usually done in a private church ceremony.

By marriage practices I'm just trying to give a polite form of saying sex, anything regarded as sexual (making out), or anything that pushes the boundaries. I'm referring to the same things when I say intimacy beyond friendship.

"The boundaries" are different for everyone. They are pretty much what YOU are okay with. What would God be okay with? I wouldn't want my husband having sex with someone else, or even making out with another girl before meeting me. Boundaries to me are anything that make you appear to be legally or spiritually married when you aren't.

I see.

But you should keep in mind that society sexualizes a lot of things that are not actually sexual.
 
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ValleyGal

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I do not believe you can accidentally get married, even if you engage in sex outside of marriage. In fact, the Bible calls sex outside of marriage a sin, so it could not very well suggest you are married if you have sex outside of marriage.

Marriage is a bilateral covenant, and there are conditions to make a covenant valid. A covenant spells out the obligations of both parties, the conditions under which it could be invalidated, and the consequences if either did not live up to their obligations. It was then "sealed" which made it more binding than a contract. In marriage, the seal is consummating the marriage with intercourse. One of the conditions to the covenant to make it valid is that it is done with witnesses. According to most cultures today, that means at least two witnesses. One more condition to making a covenant valid is the exchange of something of value. Today, we exchange wedding bands.

Due to the covenantal nature of marriage, I do not believe you can accidentally marry one of your friends.
 
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ssammoh

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I do not believe you can accidentally get married, even if you engage in sex outside of marriage. In fact, the Bible calls sex outside of marriage a sin, so it could not very well suggest you are married if you have sex outside of marriage.

Marriage is a bilateral covenant, and there are conditions to make a covenant valid. A covenant spells out the obligations of both parties, the conditions under which it could be invalidated, and the consequences if either did not live up to their obligations. It was then "sealed" which made it more binding than a contract. In marriage, the seal is consummating the marriage with intercourse. One of the conditions to the covenant to make it valid is that it is done with witnesses. According to most cultures today, that means at least two witnesses. One more condition to making a covenant valid is the exchange of something of value. Today, we exchange wedding bands.

Due to the covenantal nature of marriage, I do not believe you can accidentally marry one of your friends.

Thank you.
 
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BeautifulLove

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Kissing, or finding someone physically attractive for example.

You shouldn't be worried about that at all. I wouldn't take kissing too lightly, you might want to actually like someone for example LOL. But you definitely wouldn't accidentally get married! Naturally we are made to desire others no matter what, we just have to know our own boundaries and the boundaries that our relationship with God sets forth.

It takes two to tango, it takes two to agree to get married, and there is a lot of extra fuss to make a marriage so no worries! :thumbsup:
 
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bluegreysky

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I think it's actually pretty important to get an answer to this. I dont want to accidentally marry one of my friends


It is two combined as one flesh.

Meaning... you join together and share life, love, emotions, dreams, fears, cares, goals, a home, incomes, children... everything.
God sees you as one so you aren't supposed to be intimately involved with other people and you aren't supposed to carry on independent agendas without the other knowing. (like secret gambling or addictions or whatever). You're supposed to be "equally yolked" which I know, I laughed at that too but it doesn't mean eggs it's some reference to old days when people would put these heavy wood things on 2 oxes and they had to pull a plow together. If one didn't want to cooperate, it ruined everything.
So you and your spouse are pulling life together, and it's important to be like-minded about God, your faith, raising a family, money, politics, etc...

Actually, marrying your best friend is one of the best things that can ever happen to you.
Think about it.
Boyfriend that your friends hooked you up with: you go on romantic dates, have fun together, probably meet the parents at some point, go on more dates, goof around, and in a few years you might feel in love and compatible enough to think about marriage... right?
Ok now lets try best friend: Chances are, if he's your bestie, you've seen thick and thin with him. Because where boyfriends try to look "cool" and "charming" around their girlfriends, best friends are down to earth and honest and open up to you about the good, bad and the ugly. So you know all sides of them and they you (hopefully). While a boyfriend tries to woo you with nice dinners and flowers, a best friend may do the same but he will also accompany you to .... your family's house. on a mission trip. to the store. to the doctor. to the volunteer thing with the homeless. at your grandma's funeral. And you will do the same for him.
And you will see all sides of each other... good bad and ugly.
And you will form a deep, true love that isn't born of infatuation over good looks and romantic moments.
So when it's time to fall in love, you don't have far to fall.. so to speak.

Your spouse is SUPPOSED to be your best friend.

How do I know?
I married mine.
 
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ssammoh

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You shouldn't be worried about that at all. I wouldn't take kissing too lightly, you might want to actually like someone for example LOL. But you definitely wouldn't accidentally get married! Naturally we are made to desire others no matter what, we just have to know our own boundaries and the boundaries that our relationship with God sets forth.

It takes two to tango, it takes two to agree to get married, and there is a lot of extra fuss to make a marriage so no worries! :thumbsup:

Thank u :) I am not worried about this any more.
 
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TheyCallMeDavid

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I think it's actually pretty important to get an answer to this. I dont want to accidentally marry one of my friends


1. Its an 'adam and eve' thing and not an 'adam and Steve' thing.

2. It is a very serious holy lifelong vow of commitment two people make to one another because it represents the unity of the Godhead and Christs relationship to his worldwide Church.

3. It is to be taken extremely carefully when the Mate Selection is taking place with great objectivity in addition to feelings .

4. It is not to be done with an Unbeliever otherwise God will not and cannot bless a union like that .

5. It is something that people in America today take wayyyy too frivolously like drive-thru weddings in Las Vegas . Way too much focus is given on the ceremony and honeymoon instead of the deep issues concerning living with someone for the rest of your life . American Culture has watered down the sacredness of marriage thru Shack Up lifestyles and Casual Sex Hookups which meets the Mans greatest intimate need --- needs that were meant only for marriage to fulfill.

6. Most people should not get married as evidenced by the enormous over 50 percent DIvorce Rate , routine adultery , a Spouse deserting the marriage when the Other becomes infirmed , and simply not having the proper coping skills of communication and commitment required for a reasonably happy marriage. OUr American Culture demotes marriage by offering ways to get around it for the expressed purpose of narcissitic hedonism .

7. There is nothing wrong or shameful about remaining single or divorced and serving the Lord faithfully and having great platonic friends , family, hobbies, moral experiences to enjoy. Its in CHrist where true fulfillment and purpose is found ... not in another.
 
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Indeed, to be "spiritually yoked" is to be in constant faith with our resurrected spiritual Lord Jesus as his supernatural abundance of his fruits: love, patience, honesty, joy, courage, cooperation - can permanently guarantee a perfect unbroken marriage between an adult male and an adult female, just like Adam and Eve who were sinless until they bumped into Satan, and unfortunately, 'divorce' was born because of sin from Satan that is full of many hidden deceptions, especially marriage diversity complex issues such as homosexuality, polygamy:.
Jehovah's Creation of Eve's physical body had to be differently designed and to be compatible with/purpose-built for Adam's physical body, just as a key is designed for a keyhole that is purpose-built only for that key:.
Once Jesus becomes our accepted partner for life in both partners then supernatural protection becomes active, as honesty and communication become a cooperative and organizational solution-seeking spoken/written dialogue, to avoid traps such as inappropriate content, debt, income/job 'yours is inferior' comparisonitis.;'*';.
:liturgy:
 
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NothingIsImpossible

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Kissing is not sex. Although there are more uh... "advanced" types of kissing that I feel are dangerously close to leading to sex. Even just regular kissing "turns on" the body so its something to be careful of. It only takes a few seconds of lost self control to do something that you can't take back. Trust me on this.

That said spiritual marriage cannot be done if where you live says you have to marry a certain way.
 
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orangeness365

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I personally think that consensual sex between two people counts as marriage. However, nowadays that is so common that it is important to make it official also by taking vows between the two in front of a priest/preacher.

1 Corinthians 6:16

English Standard Version
Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.”
 
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