OK folks. First off, lets get rid of all the I 's, I thinks, my opinions etc, cause they do not matter...
First the biggest cause of divorce is the I ', I thinks, my happiness, self interest, and finally the biggie, most folks do not know what love is anymore. They think it is this big sappy feeling in your gut..WRONG. I have been married 16 years, my folks for 42 years. My dad took the time to get crude and rude when I was a boy, teaching me about love....
Love is a choice, those feelings are nothing more than hormones, chemicles, lust. Going by those feelings, I could be in love every week with someone new, and that is how some folks are. No, love is this:
Love: choosing to put someone BEFORE YOU
Jesus was the perfect example, he, the creator of all, chose to lower himself, to the lowest, humblest human, to live the life of a pauper basically, in order to teach us, then , he chose to lay down his life, for us.
John 15:13 Complete Jewish Bible (CJB)
13 No one has greater love than a person who lays down his life for his friends.
Laying down ones life does not have to be just physically. How many divorces have there been, where you heard one spouse or the other say "I just was not happy" "I lived their life for so long, I just want to live my life" etc. Love, is choosing to put the other first, no matter what. Guess what folks, it is not always equal. Do you think it was equal, what Jesus did. It is not always fair, once again, was it fair Jesus took sins, that were not his own. My mom and dad married in 1972, when my mom was 17, and my dad was 21. My mom was not healthy, they had 3 miscarriages before mom had surgery in order to carry me. By 1980, my mom had breast cancer. She was so distraught, my dad had endured her health issues thus far, now she was losing her breast. She saw, and got to know woman, whose husbands had left them for this. My dad sat down by her, and took her hand, and looked her in the eyes, I remember this, it was such a great lesson for me, he said "girl, I married you, not your body, you, you are my best friend, you can not get rid of me, we are together for life. I meant my vows, till death do us part" he meant it. They had their fights, but being best friends they got over them. But they stuck together. They made a practice of dating, lol. My dad passed away in 2005, my mom is still heart broken.
What is marriage, marriage first and foremost is Gods picture to us, of the kind of relationship he desires with us. The closeness, intimacy, devotedness. The church is the Bride of Christ. What is the history of marriage ?
Genesis 2:21-23King James Version (KJV)
21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Here we see something profound, in verse 23 Adam totally got it, his wife was A PART OF HIM.....
Why did God create a woman ?
18 Adonai, God, said, “It isn’t good that the person should be alone. I will make for him a companion suitable for helping him.” 19 So from the ground Adonai, God, formed every wild animal and every bird that flies in the air, and he brought them to the person to see what he would call them. Whatever the person would call each living creature, that was to be its name. (S: iii) 20 So the person gave names to all the livestock, to the birds in the air and to every wild animal. But for Adam there was not found a companion suitable for helping him.
You see here, God had planned for Adam to have a companion from the very beginning, but first he made Adam realize, that he was alone, there was no suitable companion for him. It is not good for a man to be alone. Its funny, that medical experts have concluded that married men live longer than single men.
What was Gods intentions for this coupling ?
Mark 10 Common English Bible (CEB)
Divorce and remarriage
10 Jesus left that place and went beyond the Jordan and into the region of Judea. Crowds gathered around him again and, as usual, he taught them. 2 Some Pharisees came and, trying to test him, they asked, “Does the Law allow a man to divorce his wife?”
3 Jesus answered, “What did Moses command you?”
4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a divorce certificate and to divorce his wife.”
5 Jesus said to them, “He wrote this commandment for you because of your unyielding hearts. 6 At the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.[a] 7 Because of this, a man should leave his father and mother and be joined together with his wife, 8 and the two will be one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 Therefore, humans must not pull apart what God has put together.”
10 Inside the house, the disciples asked him again about this. 11 He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; 12 and if a wife divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
He intended them to stick together, till the end. The two, are one. Remember that the rib, was removed from Adam. I believe it goes deeper than just the rib though. I believe that God removed certain qualities of the man also. Some of the mans deeper compassion, his "feminine side" if you will, was removed, and made into the woman. Thus further showing how that marriage is for the man, and the woman, because the two complement, and complete each other. Because the man, and the woman, are in fact, two parts of a whole.
The woman was made for the man. The man was made for Christ.
1 Corinthians 11 Common English Bible (CEB)
11 1 Follow my example, just like I follow Christ’s.
Appropriate dress in worship
2 I praise you because you remember all my instructions, and you hold on to the traditions exactly as I handed them on to you. 3 Now I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered shames his head.
5 Every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered disgraces her head. It is the same thing as having her head shaved. 6 If a woman doesn't cover her head, then she should have her hair cut off. If it is disgraceful for a woman to have short hair or to be shaved, then she should keep her head covered. 7 A man shouldn't have his head covered, because he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is man’s glory. 8 Man didn't have his origin from woman, but woman from man; 9 and man wasn't created for the sake of the woman, but the woman for the sake of the man. 10 Because of this a woman should have authority over her head, because of the angels. 11 However, woman isn’t independent from man, and man isn’t independent from woman in the Lord. 12 As woman came from man so also man comes from woman. But everything comes from God. 13 Judge for yourselves: Is it appropriate for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? 14 Doesn’t nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him; 15 but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? This is because her long hair is given to her for a covering. 16 But if someone wants to argue about this, we don't have such a custom, nor do God’s churches.
Here we see God's ordained chain of command, there is God, Jesus Christ, man, then women. In that order. This is why it is so wrong, the way our society has gone. All natural order has been turned on its head. Woman in government, women preachers, women ruling over men, it is shameful and wrong. Lucifer is a sly ole fox though. He took the bitterness of women, who lived through generations of preaching that woman were second rate citizens, and they , well basicly it amounted to abuse, they were told that they were property basicly. This bitterness made it easy for Lucifer to come along, and help incite the feminist movement. Now before we go woman bashing men, it is not them God blames, it is us men. Because we are the head, we are the high priest, we are the ones who were to lead, and it was done wrong. For God says:
Luke 12:48 (KJ21) |
48 But he that knew not and committed things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall much be required; and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.
We were given much, we were given the privilege to lead our families, which ultimately belong to God, and we can not claim that we did not know better, because we were given an instruction manual. How is a man to lead, well Jesus was our example, remember, he is the bride groom, how he lived, taught, and acted with us while he was here, is our example.
Ephesians 5:25-33English Standard Version (ESV)
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Boy, this says it all. We are to love her and treat her with the same respect and dignity as we would for ourselves. How much easier, it would be, for a woman to take her proper role, well, if man took his proper role, and treated her as this.
My father demanded my mother be treated with respect and dignity. I try to do the same for my wife. I am but a poor wretched sinner saved by Grace, I fail often, but I strive on to perfection, I strive to treat my wife, as the example given me by Jesus, and a Godly father. When I mess up, I confess, apologize, repent. My wife says that is why she loves me, not because I always do right, she cherishes the fact that doing right is where my heart is, and I struggle for it, and I am honest, and face up to my mistakes.
My mother use to tell me and my siblings this:
"God made woman, not from Adams feet, to be stepped on, not from Adams head to rule him, but from a rib, in his side, to walk beside him"
I do not know, nor believe my mom came up with that on her own, and it does not matter, but the depth of truth there, and it was her motto as a wife and mother.
In closing I want to point out one more thing, how cherished is a woman by Jesus Christ, how many times did we see him lifting up a woman, who had been trampled on her whole life. The woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery, the woman that washed him. How about this, one of his last acts:
John 19:25-27King James Version (KJV)
25 Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene.
26 When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!
27 Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.
I like to think of the man as the protector and the woman as the nurturer.
