how to handle this when you are down and out?

TravelerFarAwayFromHome said:

have any of you ever been in a situation when you are struggling, you are down and out and at rock bottom.

you ran into someone you knew years ago but haven't seen for a while.

you were struggling when you last law them, and it is really embarrassing to see them again.

it is kind of hard to describe, but it is like you see them doing well, moving on with their lives, while you are still a loser, it kind of make you question whether things will improve

it is especially hard when they saw you, they have this mocking expression on their face, like " oh... you are still THE SAME?"

sometimes it feel like you are already half way down the cliff, and when they show you such contempt, it literally push you further down, emotionally speaking at least.

I know I should take it one day at a time, and if I keep on doing what I should be doing each day, I will get out.

and so far it seems like God does want to help me

but I still find it hard in situations such as those, and know what to do to pick myself up.

any advice?

thanks

Click to expand...

If you are in Christ, then what you have is the highest status that anyone could possibly hope for --- not everyone is a CHild of the Most High God which comes with innumerable benefits and future promises . Christians should be people who have no self esteem problems based on this fact.

If you encounter people from the past that are now uncomfortable to be around, simply be polite to them if you have opportunity otherwise chalk up that relationship to a thing of the past and move on from it.

TravelerFarAwayFromHome said:

it is kind of hard to describe, but it is like you see them doing well, moving on with their lives, while you are still a loser, it kind of make you question whether things will improve

Click to expand...

As long as you see yourself as a loser this will happen.

Seek and ye shall find - This old and simple verse is an extremely goal-focused supernatural mental activity, and Jesus must be your accepted spiritual partner for life- and once you recognize that Jehovah's first female human creation: Eve who is "spiritually equal" with Adam,
and why she is not physically masculine-built to be compatible as Adam, then you will realize that the physical bodies are differently designed to be compatible, just as a key has to be designed to fit the keyhole that is uniquely designed for that unique purpose-built key:.
Poverty, violence, crime, corruption exists because heterosexuality is not recognized as Jehovah's purpose-built unbroken marriage between an adult man and woman.''*".

I did see a guy in that situation. I was near bottom and he was doing well. Since then he has lost much of what he had and I've consistently gotten raises year after year. I've also gotten a monkey off my back that still plagues him. The sands of time reduce us all to nothing in the end.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e262k42UWO0

I was envying a former classmate of mine a few years back, until I saw on her Facebook page that she had lost her toddler son to a chronic disease.

Pictures aren't always worth a thousand words. Pray that God will remove the spirit of envy from you. And believe that He can and will.

The best advice I can give is to never compare yourself with other people, It only leads to envy. Also you do not know what that person is going through success or wealth does not equate happiness. We see that the rich and successful have the same emotional issues as those who are not. You are somebody, there are people who love little details about you, it could be the way you talk to them or the way you treat them but people do appreciate it, sometimes we are tricked to close our eyes and our minds to those things and focus on what we don't have. Use Jesus as an example, he sent his disciples out into the world and told them do not worry about possessions because whatever you need to complete the mission the Lord will provide. Why? Because we are apart of his family, and not one child will regret following the Father. Love others strongly because you know your in a family whose nature is to Love and support others. God bless you!

Happens to me all the time. :/

TravelerFarAwayFromHome said:

have any of you ever been in a situation when you are struggling, you are down and out and at rock bottom.

you ran into someone you knew years ago but haven't seen for a while.

you were struggling when you last law them, and it is really embarrassing to see them again.

it is kind of hard to describe, but it is like you see them doing well, moving on with their lives, while you are still a loser, it kind of make you question whether things will improve

it is especially hard when they saw you, they have this mocking expression on their face, like " oh... you are still THE SAME?"

*Being down on yourself can alter how one sees things, especially in situations such as you are describing...
I use to think like that but in time I came to realize that all the old friends or classmates weren't mocking...in my low self esteem my
"vision" was messed up by my stinking thinking... when I made the decision to
put more time into reading God's Word and renewing my mind OFTEN, my self
esteem problems decreased and my "vision" became clearer.

Were there some associates or classmates who actually mocked me?
a few but the majority had been befuddled by my continued situation of
setbacks in life...they didn't know what to say or if they did say something it came out wrong...I had some to tell me that they were sorry about saying the wrong thing and how they hated to see me going through such bad times
after so many years.

They couldn't do anything to change my personal setbacks but I knew the ONE
who could--- God, so I kept close to Him during those hard times and He got
me and my mom through each one...we didn't starve nor were we ever homeless.


sometimes it feel like you are already half way down the cliff, and when they show you such contempt, it literally push you further down, emotionally speaking at least.

I know I should take it one day at a time, and if I keep on doing what I should be doing each day, I will get out.

and so far it seems like God does want to help me

but I still find it hard in situations such as those, and know what to do to pick myself up.

any advice?

thanks

Click to expand...

*What to do when the "enemy" attacks?
Get in the habit of putting on the full armor of God so you can withstand
those "fiery darts".

Since we are to be in the Lord's service, then learn scripture, apply it
in your life. Do your duty to the "least of these", share the Word, encourage
them and lend a helping hand-- even the smallest of ways can help, whether
it's doing some handy work for someone, sharing a meal or giving someone
a ride. Work your prayer life also.

Being happy is a choice...make the choice to be happy in the Lord,
think upon godly things...reflect upon:
Philippians 4:8
"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."

Learn to be content, no matter what circumstances you are in...there is
good to be gleaned whether your bank account is "fat" or "flat".
I make a practice of always keeping some money, doesn't matter how
small the amount....I always have money...even if it's a dollar. I'm
never broke because I always have money. I use to be down on myself
about money but it's all in the mind... when you have money in your pocket
you have money, nobody needs to know what amount.

I recall someone asking me why I was happy... they knew my situation
--being unemployed/unable to work and my husband is disabled/and unable
to work a job...we live on his disability. They thought life was SO awful for
us-- I let that person know it wasn't like that, sure we are unable to work
regular jobs but it wasn't the end of the world. I shared about how I learned
to get the latest books, movies from the local library...seriously, I haven't missed
out.

Be honest...
When asked what I want for a birthday/Christmas or anniversary gift...I tell
family or friends: movie tickets or I give them the name of my favorite perfume
or I suggest that they surprise me... nine times out of ten, they will give
a gift card to a nice restaurant or clothing store.
Or...like what happened on my birthday this year, a couple from church called
and said they were taking us out for supper...which was good because we
couldn't afford to go out due to an unexpected bill...but the Lord put it on
their hearts to treat us to supper at our favorite restaurant...where they
surprised me with a small birthday cake and a card!

Practice, practice, practice... you're a Child of God, that's your identity--
walk with confidence, speak well, mind your thoughts(renew your mind
on the Word of God regularly to combat doubts and fears); create an
atmosphere of praise and worship in your home-- I keep Christian radio
playing in my home nearly all day...even if it's turned down low when
visitors are there...Christian radio is playing in the background...I've
noticed the difference in our home...it's more calm and you can
sense the Lord's presence...I noticed how smoothly things went at Christmas
with some relatives who tend to be "difficult"-- not this year though...having
Christian music on made a difference and I praise God for that!

It takes time and effort--However, I believe you can do this.

So--when you do encounter folks who actually mock you--
you can respond to their "put downs" or condescension
by telling them that you're still living a blessed life-- speak to
them about the Good News of the Gospel, how it saved you and how you
are trusting the Lord-- no matter what circumstances you are facing, share how
you are studying the Word of God and preparing to be about His work and
are trusting Him to help you stand firm in adversity.

The real "loser" is the one who measures success in the same way that "the world" does.

Am I healthy? No
Am I fit? No
Do I have a career? No
Do I even have a job? No
Do I consider myself to be a success?

Yes, I was chosen by the Most High God!
The rest is meaningless drivel in comparison.

Pray for healing. Pray to stop thinking about that person and any such others. Get off that mental treadmill. It's the opposite of good exercise. Praise the Father for all the good things He has been doing in your life and ask for more help daily.

I pray the same things for you

I think that is an understandable thing to experience sometimes, but i think its not good for us to compare ourselves to others. After all, we cannot read other people's minds to know what they think of us. We also don't know their internal struggles, and the issues they are dealing with. So i think its best to find our identity in Christ and put our trust and hope that He is in control of our lives. Instead of comparing ourselves to them, we should try to be happy for them and what they have been given in life. Actually Andy Stanley has a series talking about these kinds of ideas called 'The Comparison Trap'. They helped me a lot so i recommend him.

I'm not perfect and on occasion get envious of others who have healthy bodies, good jobs and kids. I want that for my wife and I. Especially having kids. But I know it doens't matter what others have or don't have. Everything in this world is temporal. I can't take it with me to heaven. So I just focus on God. He makes you happy because if you focus on others you will never be happy.

And lets not forget that those people you look at may look happy and all from your point of view. But that doesn't mean they are behind closed doors. I remember a married couple I know who when we would see them felt like the all american perfect christian family. But later I found out they had marital issues, issues with bills, kids...etc. I believe one of them had cheated on the other too. So envy is silly since no one has a perfect life no matter how they look to us.

Gosh, I'm going to say....yes!
As if bumping into someone I knew who seems to have it more together than me, is part of my yearly experience. I'm like "seriously?" I am already struggling here...heh!
But okay...seems that the only way to lift our own spirits is to remind ourselves that we are better off without people who will judge you for the stage of life we are in.

Better without them, I say. Keep that Faith strong and believe in yourself.
Not an easy thing but try it at least. I am and seems to be working.

Prayers and hugs

TravelerFarAwayFromHome said:

have any of you ever been in a situation when you are struggling, you are down and out and at rock bottom.

you ran into someone you knew years ago but haven't seen for a while.

you were struggling when you last law them, and it is really embarrassing to see them again.

it is kind of hard to describe, but it is like you see them doing well, moving on with their lives, while you are still a loser, it kind of make you question whether things will improve

it is especially hard when they saw you, they have this mocking expression on their face, like " oh... you are still THE SAME?"

sometimes it feel like you are already half way down the cliff, and when they show you such contempt, it literally push you further down, emotionally speaking at least.

I know I should take it one day at a time, and if I keep on doing what I should be doing each day, I will get out.

and so far it seems like God does want to help me

but I still find it hard in situations such as those, and know what to do to pick myself up.

any advice?

thanks

Click to expand...

Read Matthew 7, specifically verses 1-5 & 7-12.
Don't worry about how they view you, just keep on keeping on trying to make something better of yourself.

I know it hurts. Boy does it hurt. I remember how it felt being homeless and met a couple people I knew from years back. It was so humiliating! I just prayed to Jesus that only good comes of this.

Matthew 7:1-5 (NIV) said:

1. “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.

2. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

4. How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?

5. You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Click to expand...

Matthew 7:7-12 (NIV) said:

7. “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

8. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

9. “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?

10. Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?

11. If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

12. So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Click to expand...