I've posted this so many times before but I'm so terrified. Before I met my husband I heard about a guy at my school making a vow with God that he would be celibate. After that I started feeling like God wanted me to make a vow not to marry and I kept worrying with every thing I did that it would mean that. It came to a point at church one day that I was convinced that if I took communion it would mean that. I could have left and gone to the bathroom but I didn't and I felt like I resigned myself to it after I took communion. Even if it didn't mean that, if I thought it did and did it anyway, it seems like I would be held to that. I have had fears because of the story of Jephtah too. And then I met my husband and started dating him and felt so bad. I often felt guilty and thought God wanted me to leave him. I ended up marrying him and thought I could ask forgiveness if I shouldn't have. Before we married something happened that made me afraid he didn't want me anymore and I prayed that it would work out if we could be together or if it was ok and it did. Then after we married, fears came that God wanted me to leave him. My husband has an issue with inappropriate contentography and I knew that before we got married but I didn't worry about it much. Now I keep worrying that doing certain things means that I would be telling God that I would leave, which I'm don't want to do and am not doing, but I keep using that to make decisions. And now I feel like, God could be using my OCD to steer me away. If my husband is a priority in my life, maybe I'm supposed to leave so I don't put him to glorified in my life. Or what if he is leading me astray. Or what if God wants me to leave him since he struggles with lust. I love my husband and he is so good to me, but God wants us holy before happy I guess. What do you think? I feel like seeking reassurance is just seeking approval from men...
-
The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.
If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.
If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.
Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
Does God ask people to divorce?
- Thread starter Elzic
- Start date
This is a tough situation, I would say that God does not ask people to divorce. If you found out that your husband is unfaithful then a divorce would be ok. But it sounds like you Love your husband, are you unhappy in the marriage or are you just worried about God thinking that your marriage is not holy? If your happy you can stay with your husband and you can be light by living a holy life and then as your husband sees your faith he would be motivated to stop sinning. I hope this helps, I will be praying for you and your husband!
Upvote
0
I'm very happy with him. I'm unhappy because I'm afraid that God would want me to leave. I have asked for signs and felt like God gave me signs confiming my fears. For example I asked God for external signse almost hoping someone would tell me weather or not I was supposed to leave and then we went out to dinner and the topic of divorce came up. Then at church on Sunday the messages about surrendering I was very heartbroke. Because surrender to me sounds like leaving.
I want to be his helper, but maybe I'm getting in the way between him and God somehow and being a stumbling block.
I forgive him for his habit but it doesnt bother me as much as it should.
I want to be his helper, but maybe I'm getting in the way between him and God somehow and being a stumbling block.
I forgive him for his habit but it doesnt bother me as much as it should.
Upvote
0
Yea, I understand how you feel. Have you had a discussion about his habit? It doesn't sound like you are a stumbling block. I can tell by your response that you love him and you want your husband to live holy, I admire you for even thinking about removing yourself from the situation so your husband can be right with God. I would say God wants you to speak to your husband about your problem, I'm not sure how your husband will feel about it but I pray and I am sure Jesus will be with you thru this process no matter what happens. I pray God gives you perfect clarity for this situation. God bless you and your husband!
Upvote
0
- Dec 2, 2014
- 5,976
- 2,599
- 28
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Others
Lemme tell you somethin' 'bout OCD...it lies to you. It tells you to be worried about things that you shouldn't be worried about, and make you think things you shouldn't.
God would never tell you to leave your husband just because he has issues with inappropriate content. If anything God has most likely brought you together so that you can get him OUT of his sinful habits. As a married man, your husband has absolutely no need for inappropriate content, assuming...you know
(But since you're cautious about this marriage, it's understandable if you haven't...conceived yet.)
I'd consider maybe getting some marriage counseling with your husband. Bring up his issues and yours, too, particularly your worries that you think somehow God wants you to divorce him.
I feel like that's not the case and it's just your OCD. Maybe you're subconsciously thinking that he's not the right one, or you're afraid that you've made a mistake marrying him. Maybe you have, but you shouldn't come to that conclusion without first having evidence that he's the wrong guy. Like if he cheats on you or hates you or is mean to you or is dishonest or something. The fact that he TOLD you about his inappropriate content problem indicates honesty to me, and the fact that you love him indicates that he hasn't done anything to make you suddenly afraid of him.
This desire for divorce comes from your own brain, not God. As an OCD sufferer myself, I know that sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. But here are some criteria:
1. Did I have this thought briefly, or do I obsess over it whenever I have the chance?
2. Is it distressing?
3. Does it contradict biblical principles?
4. Is it encouraging me to do something sinful? (In your case, that's easy, since divorce is considered a violation of a marriage agreement, which God hates even though He permits it and is technically a sin, although given the fallen nature of humanity there are various acceptable grounds for divorce. In your case your husband has done nothing to you that would warrant divorce.)
5. If I completely forgot about this, would things go horribly wrong? In your case, do you NEED to keep thinking about divorcing your husband? If you suddenly were rendered incapable of even remotely considering divorce for the time being, would that mean you were trapped in a bad marriage? Or would it make your married life easier? To me it sounds like the second one.
My point is that OCD sometimes makes you think worrying thoughts that are probably from the devil or paranoia rather than God. God wouldn't make you want to divorce your husband unless there was a good reason, like he was mistreating you, which he isn't. Just remember my little criteria I listed here the next time you worry about this.
God would never tell you to leave your husband just because he has issues with inappropriate content. If anything God has most likely brought you together so that you can get him OUT of his sinful habits. As a married man, your husband has absolutely no need for inappropriate content, assuming...you know
(But since you're cautious about this marriage, it's understandable if you haven't...conceived yet.)I'd consider maybe getting some marriage counseling with your husband. Bring up his issues and yours, too, particularly your worries that you think somehow God wants you to divorce him.
I feel like that's not the case and it's just your OCD. Maybe you're subconsciously thinking that he's not the right one, or you're afraid that you've made a mistake marrying him. Maybe you have, but you shouldn't come to that conclusion without first having evidence that he's the wrong guy. Like if he cheats on you or hates you or is mean to you or is dishonest or something. The fact that he TOLD you about his inappropriate content problem indicates honesty to me, and the fact that you love him indicates that he hasn't done anything to make you suddenly afraid of him.
This desire for divorce comes from your own brain, not God. As an OCD sufferer myself, I know that sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. But here are some criteria:
1. Did I have this thought briefly, or do I obsess over it whenever I have the chance?
2. Is it distressing?
3. Does it contradict biblical principles?
4. Is it encouraging me to do something sinful? (In your case, that's easy, since divorce is considered a violation of a marriage agreement, which God hates even though He permits it and is technically a sin, although given the fallen nature of humanity there are various acceptable grounds for divorce. In your case your husband has done nothing to you that would warrant divorce.)
5. If I completely forgot about this, would things go horribly wrong? In your case, do you NEED to keep thinking about divorcing your husband? If you suddenly were rendered incapable of even remotely considering divorce for the time being, would that mean you were trapped in a bad marriage? Or would it make your married life easier? To me it sounds like the second one.
My point is that OCD sometimes makes you think worrying thoughts that are probably from the devil or paranoia rather than God. God wouldn't make you want to divorce your husband unless there was a good reason, like he was mistreating you, which he isn't. Just remember my little criteria I listed here the next time you worry about this.
Upvote
0
Even when try to feel better about it I still think about the times where it seems like God has given me a sign like in my second post and how mt pastor has been talking about surrender and giving up the rugh to self determination. I jept forgetting that word when I tried to tell my mom but th en it came up again today when I was looking up stuff about Kwanzaa at work and one of their principles is that.
Upvote
0
