liking a Co-Worker & stuff..*Long Post*
- Thread starter WithLoveFromAlyssa
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Just ask a supervisor what the company policy is there so you can both make an informed decision on how to proceed. Unless, of course, you just don't like the job that much. Then you can do whatever you want because the consequence isn't very meaningful in that case.
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MarkSB
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Culturally I'm not sure but I lived in SoCal for my first 10 years and Hawai'i for the other 12. Californians seem to be rather straightforward, direct, and a tad blunt. Not that they are bad but every place is different... So I'm guessing he does, but perhaps you could go on talking to him and then see what happens.
I've had cultural weirdness in the past.. I can tell you from experience Israeli Arabs (yes there are a few Christians, and sadly I probably won't meet another in the states :/ ) are blunt, and speak their mind which I found great. In Japan I was confused as they came for a few weeks, even though I've had my fair share of exposure here. I could write paragraphs about both cultures... All I can say is that it was really hard to see past the cultural niceties in Japan, and for Arabs it's beyond easy to know where they're at. However, hearing somebodies thoughts as they are made can through you off unless you know that's how things are done.
Anyways it seems if you put some effort into "calibrating" your expectations with the particular culture (my sister said Texas was really weird and she couldn't understand people at times), ask some friends that know, and etc then that's the best thing you can do.
Interesting. I can't say I've had that much experience with other cultures, outside of experiences with college prof's. It seems like the majority of my prof's have been from foreign cultural backgrounds. A few Russians, a couple that are of middle-eastern descent, and a few Africans. And one guy that was east Asian. The 2 Russian professors were probably some of the most disciplined professors I've had, but a lot of people didn't like them because they also had fairly high expectations.
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- Nov 6, 2014
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I find that different cultures make life interesting although sometimes it can be hard as some cultures are very strict...
For Russians... I have two cousins who were adopted at age 7 from Kazakhstan and have spent the last 10 years in SoCal. It's so weird since normally Asians here in Hawai'i know English, then in Japan maybe 10% of them could carry a conversation at the church I was at, and then you have two who's first language is Russian
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- Jul 7, 2012
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Well, I asked God for a sign last night, and I had a great time today with him.. we were messing around and I had such fun...Someone even said "DJ stop flirting with her" (it was another employee- jokingly) so maybe he DOES.
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MarkSB
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^It isn't always short and unrewarding. Even relationships which don't work out you can usually take something away from.
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It might not be a bad time to get used to the reality of following policy and not just throwing everything out the window every time you get a crush.
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Nanopants
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I don't know. He could be kind of intimidated at the thought of asking an older girl out, so maybe that's why he hasn't crossed that threshold yet. A little nudge from you could be all that he needs.
^This. Speaking as a guy who has worked for years with an exceptionally attractive and single coworker, I would have asked her out a long time ago had she given me the right nudge at the right time. Work complicates things though, and generally I want to stay away from potential harassment claims in as much as is possible. I almost never even think about dating coworkers since all it takes is one false accusation to make a huge mess out of things, so that "nudge" to at least show that you're friendly and datable may just do the trick.
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Well, I think what I am going to do is wait till he turns 18.. (In March- So not that long away. Who knows, I may not like him by then.. I have a lot of learning to do about him.. Basic things, and complex things alike. So far I know he's funny, A christian, Helpful, Responsible, And charismatic. Who knows, he may not even like me, although I think it is a possibility. I am certainly not for certain. Plus,It is frowned upon for a 17 nd 19 year old to be together. That is because he is a minor. Maybe when hes 18 he will feel more comfortable (if he actually likes me) and I will feel more comfortable also. I am stumped though... No asking for my number, or facebook, or to hang out. It HAS only been about 3 weeks though. Either way, I know he likes me as a friend. Once when My family came in he said, "So youre alyssas family, shes doing great, shes really cool". So, he thinks im cool. This is all silly though, because Im 19..and I still act like a shy little girl when im around someone I like. He brings out more confidence in me though.. I feel I can be more "free" around him I guess.
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Nanopants
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That's not so easy to define I guess, besides opening up and being a little bit more forward, but acting naturally at the same time.
I guess I could give you an example. I work a lot with this woman. IOW we interact a lot, so there's a lot of eye contact and stuff going on. At first I found it incredibly difficult to concentrate, and there was a bit of chemistry between us and what not. At that point I was seriously considering asking her out but I stopped short of that when she let me overhear her talking about another guy she was seeing. Later, she conveniently let me overhear how she wasn't seeing anybody, so if I had wanted to, I would have known that was a good time. Unfortunately I didn't feel like it, and probably never will. Also, let that be a lesson: don't use jealousy to try to get a guy to pursue. If he's anything like me he'll move on for good.
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MarkSB
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Yeah, signals from girls can be difficult to read sometimes. I think the more obvious ones are when they let you know in a roundabout way that they don't have a boyfriend or that they aren't seeing anyone, ect. Or playing the whole grapevine thing, where they let a friend know and friend tells you. Flirting I'm a little more cautious about, because sometimes it can be easy to misinterpret friendliness as flirting.
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Its weird with the age thing and everybody is different. Two years to me is no big deal but I find myself more mature than those a few years older than myself... Maybe he won't think twice about your age, is about your maturity, and likes you. Waiting until he is 18 is probably best and besides you can easily talk to him casually to see where he is at along with building a bit of a background d with him.
(Not to hijack or talk about me but here it is.)
People say it will benefit me when im older.... However, I'm in a weird spot since I can pass for 17, plus i am rather educated, mature, and so forth. So I find I can best relate to girls that are say 22-24. So I've had my dose of the age difference thing...
Ah to add to what the other two guys said.
Definately use some clarity with whatever you say and do as being flirty is hard to read.
Recently that gave me a nice dose of disapointment (but hey I learned something!l and so since its fresh in my mind I though I'd mention it.
(Not to hijack or talk about me but here it is.)
People say it will benefit me when im older.... However, I'm in a weird spot since I can pass for 17, plus i am rather educated, mature, and so forth. So I find I can best relate to girls that are say 22-24. So I've had my dose of the age difference thing...
Ah to add to what the other two guys said.
Definately use some clarity with whatever you say and do as being flirty is hard to read.
Recently that gave me a nice dose of disapointment (but hey I learned something!l and so since its fresh in my mind I though I'd mention it.
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r035198x
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Ya, I would wait. You both have lots of time ahead of you. Enjoy what you have now but at the same time try if possible to tone down your expectations. That will save you disappointment if things don't turn out as you hoped.
I also think there is already enough interaction between the two of you for him to be able to see that you are single and you do like him. I don't think you should do anything extra.
I also think there is already enough interaction between the two of you for him to be able to see that you are single and you do like him. I don't think you should do anything extra.
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Today, while me and DJ were on the cash register .. People were saying we were flirting ... Including our manager.
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