Don't want to go to church....

graceandpeace

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Well, unfortunately I am having to revisit this topic. Previously my friend had been pretty good about going to church. During the past couple of weeks it has been difficult for him to get to church on time, or even to go at all. He had told me he would be there today, and he never did show up.

He called a while ago telling me again, that he just doesn't like going. He doesn't know why he doesn't like going.

Now before everyone replies telling me "you don't have to go to church to be saved" do realize that I am fully aware of that. This particular friend of mine watches a lot of television (most of it unhealthy) and is on the internet a lot (most of it unhealthy). His other friends are of very questionable influence.

The reason I have been pushing him to go to church is so that he can have a hour per week where he is surrounded by good influences and is learning about Christ with other Christians. The idea of watching a surmon on TV or interenet wouldn't work as there are always outside interuptions when at home on TV ort the computer. It isn't the same as going to a church.

I do consider this friend a "young Christian" in that he has only been going to church for two years or so. He wasn't raised in a Christian home.

Anyways, what are some scriptures or reasons someone SHOULD go to church? Again, I realize it is not a necessity to go to church so there is need typing that out.

Thanks for any help and support.

I would leave them alone, honestly. If they want to go to your church, they know where to find it. Bugging them about it & waving the Bible at them probably won't have the effect you hope for. Just pray for him.

By the way, perhaps your friend has a problem with the denomination or specific church you attend? If that is the real problem, then perhaps finding a different church would be a remedy - though, we would need more specifics about his concerns in order to offer ideas.
 
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stevenfrancis

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First of all, I realize that people don't have to go to church to be saved or to hold a relationship with God.

Where did this realization come from? I'm curious. I hear that a lot. One need only be "spiritual" or something like that. What is the support for this notion from scripture and Christian tradition? When in Christian history did this change? Or, was it ever even there? Did Christians EVER feel that their liturgical gatherings were unnecessary to the process of salvation prior to say, the reformation in the 1500's.?

I have a friend (19 years old) who has been very interested in going to church and has done a really good job of doing so. During the past few weeks he has found "reasons" not to go.

Yes, we all tend to rationalize our inappropriate behaviors with "reasons".

He posted the following on Facebook tonight, and got the usual responses as to be expected by people nowadays about "Christians being hypocrites" and "not needing to go to church", etc....

Yes, modern culture hates the Church, just as Jesus promised they would. They sing with joy when a Christian turns their back on any kind of Christian tradition.

What kind of real world advise can I give him, and what are some scriptures I could show him? I feel like I am greatly outnumbered because none of his other friends he is seeking advise from go to church/believe in God.

Unfortunately, I only have an answer for this if your friend is Catholic, or Eastern Orthodox Christian. If that is the case, let me know, and there is some good guidance in the Catechism of the Catholic Church for this. This is for Christians who believe in the real presence of Jesus Christ in the Mass/Divine Liturgy, and the importance of the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist. If one didn't believe in those two things, I'm not sure that it IS a sin, or any kind of a problem to miss "church", because, well, what would you be missing? Here is the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox view on Mass/Divine Liturgy, and missing it. If you can find anything in here which may be of help for his faith tradition, then give it a try. Otherwise, it will at least explain why Catholics and EO's only miss Mass/Divine liturgy if it as absolutely unavoidable. Physically ill. Not able to get to a parish, or cathedral offering the Mass/Divine liturgy.

From the CCC:
II. THE LORD'S DAY

This is the day which the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.103
The day of the Resurrection: the new creation

2174 Jesus rose from the dead "on the first day of the week."104 Because it is the "first day," the day of Christ's Resurrection recalls the first creation. Because it is the "eighth day" following the sabbath,105 it symbolizes the new creation ushered in by Christ's Resurrection. For Christians it has become the first of all days, the first of all feasts, the Lord's Day (he kuriake hemera, dies dominica) Sunday:

We all gather on the day of the sun, for it is the first day [after the Jewish sabbath, but also the first day] when God, separating matter from darkness, made the world; and on this same day Jesus Christ our Savior rose from the dead.106
Sunday - fulfillment of the sabbath

2175 Sunday is expressly distinguished from the sabbath which it follows chronologically every week; for Christians its ceremonial observance replaces that of the sabbath. In Christ's Passover, Sunday fulfills the spiritual truth of the Jewish sabbath and announces man's eternal rest in God. For worship under the Law prepared for the mystery of Christ, and what was done there prefigured some aspects of Christ:107

Those who lived according to the old order of things have come to a new hope, no longer keeping the sabbath, but the Lord's Day, in which our life is blessed by him and by his death.108
2176 The celebration of Sunday observes the moral commandment inscribed by nature in the human heart to render to God an outward, visible, public, and regular worship "as a sign of his universal beneficence to all."109 Sunday worship fulfills the moral command of the Old Covenant, taking up its rhythm and spirit in the weekly celebration of the Creator and Redeemer of his people.

The Sunday Eucharist

2177 The Sunday celebration of the Lord's Day and his Eucharist is at the heart of the Church's life. "Sunday is the day on which the paschal mystery is celebrated in light of the apostolic tradition and is to be observed as the foremost holy day of obligation in the universal Church."110

"Also to be observed are the day of the Nativity of Our Lord Jesus Christ, the Epiphany, the Ascension of Christ, the feast of the Body and Blood of Christi, the feast of Mary the Mother of God, her Immaculate Conception, her Assumption, the feast of Saint Joseph, the feast of the Apostles Saints Peter and Paul, and the feast of All Saints."111

2178 This practice of the Christian assembly dates from the beginnings of the apostolic age.112 The Letter to the Hebrews reminds the faithful "not to neglect to meet together, as is the habit of some, but to encourage one another."113

Tradition preserves the memory of an ever-timely exhortation: Come to Church early, approach the Lord, and confess your sins, repent in prayer. . . . Be present at the sacred and divine liturgy, conclude its prayer and do not leave before the dismissal. . . . We have often said: "This day is given to you for prayer and rest. This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."114
2179 "A parish is a definite community of the Christian faithful established on a stable basis within a particular church; the pastoral care of the parish is entrusted to a pastor as its own shepherd under the authority of the diocesan bishop."115 It is the place where all the faithful can be gathered together for the Sunday celebration of the Eucharist. The parish initiates the Christian people into the ordinary expression of the liturgical life: it gathers them together in this celebration; it teaches Christ's saving doctrine; it practices the charity of the Lord in good works and brotherly love:

You cannot pray at home as at church, where there is a great multitude, where exclamations are cried out to God as from one great heart, and where there is something more: the union of minds, the accord of souls, the bond of charity, the prayers of the priests.116

The Sunday obligation

2180 The precept of the Church specifies the law of the Lord more precisely: "On Sundays and other holy days of obligation the faithful are bound to participate in the Mass."117 "The precept of participating in the Mass is satisfied by assistance at a Mass which is celebrated anywhere in a Catholic rite either on the holy day or on the evening of the preceding day."118

2181 The Sunday Eucharist is the foundation and confirmation of all Christian practice. For this reason the faithful are obliged to participate in the Eucharist on days of obligation, unless excused for a serious reason (for example, illness, the care of infants) or dispensed by their own pastor.119 Those who deliberately fail in this obligation commit a grave sin.

2182 Participation in the communal celebration of the Sunday Eucharist is a testimony of belonging and of being faithful to Christ and to his Church. The faithful give witness by this to their communion in faith and charity. Together they testify to God's holiness and their hope of salvation. They strengthen one another under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

2183 "If because of lack of a sacred minister or for other grave cause participation in the celebration of the Eucharist is impossible, it is specially recommended that the faithful take part in the Liturgy of the Word if it is celebrated in the parish church or in another sacred place according to the prescriptions of the diocesan bishop, or engage in prayer for an appropriate amount of time personally or in a family or, as occasion offers, in groups of families."120

His Facebook post is below:
"havent felt like myself lately, haven't gone to church in 3 weeks and for some reason i dont feel guilty like i normally did, idk if its cus i'm burned out from work or if its cus i just dont feel the need to go anymore but is it wrong if i dont go but still have faith and pray to god when im going through good times and bad? Already talked to my friend bout it but still, i'm not feeling church anymore...."

All I can offer is prayer for your friend, and others who are feeling a period of dryness, or allowing the world to drain their zeal for Christ. The Holy Spirit can turn this around. Be of good cheer, and just pray for your friend, and continue to provide an example of Christian joy in his life.

May God bless you both richly.
 
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NothingIsImpossible

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We all go through our trials where we just don't have any drive to do things like go to church. And once you miss one sunday, then its easier to miss another one. And then to miss prayer...etc because you get side tracked with life instead. I'd just encourage him, pray for him...etc.

I do agree maybe hes not in the right denomination.
 
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Albion

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Where did this realization come from? I'm curious. I hear that a lot. One need only be "spiritual" or something like that.
I believe the point was not that it's acceptable to be vaguely 'spiritual,' but that it is not absolutely necessary to attend church in order to be a Christian. Christian, not just any kind of spiritual person.

What is the support for this notion from scripture and Christian tradition? When in Christian history did this change?
From very early times, there were hermits who separated themselves, physically, from the Christian communities--and the church considers some of them to be saints. Many centuries later, we find "recluses" who would wall themselves up (and obviously not attend Mass) at their homes and live a solitary life as disciples of Christ. They too are not considered to be false Christians or non-Christians as a result.
 
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Inkachu

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What kind of real world advise can I give him, and what are some scriptures I could show him? I feel like I am greatly outnumbered because none of his other friends he is seeking advise from go to church/believe in God.

I usually don't post huge pieces of Scripture, but this is one that I think merits being posted. Have your friend read over 1 Corinthians chapter 12, which is all about the community that exists among Christians. You can't be in communion with other Christians if you're at home and isolated from them ("fellowshipping" online is not a replacement for face-to-face, hands-on relationships, either).

So here it is. This is a GREAT chapter in the Bible. I'm posting from verse 4 onward, FTR. I've also bolded some parts that I think should be emphasized to your friend.

There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. http://biblehub.com/1_corinthians/12-6.htmGod works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us.
A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. http://biblehub.com/1_corinthians/12-8.htmTo one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge. http://biblehub.com/1_corinthians/12-9.htmThe same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have.
The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. http://biblehub.com/1_corinthians/12-13.htmSome of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.
http://biblehub.com/1_corinthians/12-14.htmYes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?
But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. How strange a body would be if it had only one part! Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”
In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. http://biblehub.com/1_corinthians/12-25.htmThis makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.
All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.
Here are some of the parts God has appointed for the church:
first are apostles,
second are prophets,
third are teachers,
then those who do miracles,
those who have the gift of healing,
those who can help others,
those who have the gift of leadership,
those who speak in unknown languages.
Are we all apostles? Are we all prophets? Are we all teachers? Do we all have the power to do miracles? http://biblehub.com/1_corinthians/12-30.htmDo we all have the gift of healing? Do we all have the ability to speak in unknown languages? Do we all have the ability to interpret unknown languages? Of course not! So you should earnestly desire the most helpful gifts.

Acts 2:42-45 is another great passage, that talks about the new, budding Christian church, and how everyone came together as one, not only to worship or teach, but to meet each others' needs.

Bottom line is that when we become Christians, we're adopted into the Body of Christ, a family. And we're never meant to go it alone after that.
 
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Lightsped

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Thanks for the replies. I read each of them carefully.

He called me tonight, to ask unrelated questions - nothing about church or Christ. I didn't have much to say..... Things like this upset me. I am not sure why. I wish I didn't care as much as I do. I think we are supposed to hangout alittle tomorrow night.
 
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Albion

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Thanks for the replies. I read each of them carefully.

He called me tonight, to ask unrelated questions - nothing about church or Christ. I didn't have much to say..... Things like this upset me. I am not sure why. I wish I didn't care as much as I do. I think we are supposed to hangout alittle tomorrow night.

It's not wrong to care and to be upset if you can't do much to change things. However, there are some situations in which you just cannot accomplish what you 'd like to. This is probably one. Perhaps in time things will change and he'll give you an opening, but not now.
 
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Belly Rumble

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Isaiah 56 and the Book of Revelation are the best passages in the Bible in my opinion that explain what Father is going to Judge you on when you die. Many Christians are not going to like what I am about to say. Father wants a few in every community to "Cry aloud, spare not, Lift up your voice like a trumpet; Tell My People their transgression." Here we go, buckle up and leave the Devil at the Door! Remember, I am not Righteous and probably am the biggest sinner among you. The Last Book of the Bible is the one that Jesus wanted to make clear in once and for all how do you inherit Eternal Life. He gave these words to His Beloved Disciple John knowing that this would be the last Book in the entire Holy Bible. I am talking about the Book of Revelation. In this Book Jesus says that the "Only Ones" that get to spend Eternity with Father and Himself are called the: "Blessed Ones, Chosen Ones, & Faithful Ones" (Revelation 14:12-13, 17:14, 19:9, 20:6). In this last Book of the Bible we are told the only way to Eternal Life is to be in the group of people who: 1.) Keep the Commandments of God & 2.) have the faith and testimony of Jesus Christ. Now having said that, you may be wondering what does it mean to "keep the Commandments of God"?. Well hundreds of years before Jesus gave this revelation to John, Jesus "The Word" gave it to the prophet Isaiah. Jesus makes it very clear in Isaiah 56 what it means to keep the Commandments of God! In Isaiah 56:2 Jesus tells us who are the "Blessed Ones" just like He did in Revelation chapters 14, 17, 19, & 20. Jesus EVEN STOMPS HIS FEET WHILE HE TEACHES THIS JUST LIKE A TEACHER WOULD IF HE WAS TEACHING THE TEST. Jesus says in Isaiah 56:2 "the man who DOES THIS, and the son of man who LAYS HOLD ON IT" will receive the Salvation mentioned in verse 1. Jesus says throughout chapter 56 that THIS CHAPTER is for the Gentile Church!!! Jesus refers to the "church" here as the "sons of the foreigner who join themselves to the Lord". Jesus also refers to the Gentile Church here as "Others besides those outcasts of Israel will be gathered to Father when Jesus Comes. Jesus capitalizes the "O" in others here not me. Jesus also says "Every Man who does THESE THINGS" are considered the Blessed Ones. Now, does Isaiah 56 lists of things you must do to be saved the same as the list in the Book of Revelation? YES!!! Here is how it is worded in Isaiah: 1.) The Blessed Ones choose what pleases Me. 2.) they love the "NAME OF THE LORD" and choose to be His Servants. {JESUS CHRIST}. 3.) Keep from defiling the SABBATH 4.) Keep from doing what is Evil. This list matches Revelation's list perfectly. The 10 Commandments found in Exodus 20 are the Commandments of God. Keep the SABBATH Holy is one of them and obviously one that really pleases Father. What is the true SABBATH? Do not let any one tell you it is anything other than Friday sunset to Saturday sunset. Ok, how do we keep from defiling it? Now you need to turn 2 chapters forward and look at Isaiah 58. Jesus spells out how He wants you to act on the Sabbath 24 hour period. He makes it very clear in verse 3 not to have your business open during that 24 hour period!!! Unless you are feeding and clothing the poor at no charge!!! And, if you have employees helping you with that service they are not required to be there and you can not pay your employees. They have to want to come to serve the Lord. If you do this on the Sabbath, you must use it as a tool to teach the Truth about how to be saved. The Gospel of Jesus Christ while you are serving them for free. This is exactly why the "Western Nations chose to ignore the TRUE SABBATH. They do not want to close down between Friday nite to Saturday nite. Is this a requirement of Salvation? Think of it this way. There is only One that Jesus wants you to love and HONOR more than Himself or your Christian Brethren and that is Father. Father told you in Isaiah 56:4, rest of 56, and all of chapter 58 what pleases Him. Be careful not to defile the SABBATH, you may be the half of the Church that Jesus says "Depart from Me I never knew you." Remember, Father comes down to live with Jesus and Us after the 1,000 year Millennium is over. Jesus does not want a bunch of people hanging out beside Father for Eternity who did not try to please Him. Read it for yourselves.
 
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xTx

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I would leave them alone, honestly. If they want to go to your church, they know where to find it. Bugging them about it & waving the Bible at them probably won't have the effect you hope for. Just pray for him..

Exactly what I am thinking. Currently I have someone bugging me for weeks now, I just get so put off. Not to go to church though - other stuff.

If you friend was like me - please give the topic a rest - he will come round. If he wants to.

Probably - he is overworked and needs time to chill out.

It is not easy to go from school to working 40 hours a week.

God will make a way - in His and your friend's own time.
 
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Lightsped

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Thanks for all of the replies. Some very interesting scriptures and viewpoints here. I guess one of my main concerns is that by ignoring this issue of going to church, it will become easier and easier to just skip church all of the time. Its like with many things important. The longer you stay away from it, the easier it becomes to put other things in its place. Eventually church could be forgotten all together like the majority of people do in our society....
 
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ezeric

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Thanks for all of the replies. Some very interesting scriptures and viewpoints here. I guess one of my main concerns is that by ignoring this issue of going to church, it will become easier and easier to just skip church all of the time. Its like with many things important. The longer you stay away from it, the easier it becomes to put other things in its place. Eventually church could be forgotten all together like the majority of people do in our society....

That would be 100% true, and that does happen, like you suggest all the time!

BUT

What if there were another outcome "to not going to church"?

What if we came to the revelation that "I am the Temple of the Holy Spirit". 1 Corinthians 6:19 & 2nd Corinthians 6:16
And that "GOD doesn't live in temples made by human hands" Acts 7:48 & Acts 17:24
We are the church. Its an organism not an organization!

We can't go to a place that you are.

I think many are looking for a real supernatural / spiritual encounter.
They wouldn't mind getting to live and experience, what JESUS taught
was "the Kingdom"…but all they've been exposed to, or fed - was church.

In Christendom, there is more to Un-Learn then to Learn.

-eric
 
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Albion

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Thanks for all of the replies. Some very interesting scriptures and viewpoints here. I guess one of my main concerns is that by ignoring this issue of going to church, it will become easier and easier to just skip church all of the time. Its like with many things important. The longer you stay away from it, the easier it becomes to put other things in its place. Eventually church could be forgotten all together like the majority of people do in our society....

All of that is correct, but it doesn't mean that you can turn him around by harping on it to him at this time. If you want to keep working at this, I'd recommend finding a very unthreatening way of doing it--and don't consider it a failure if it doesn't work. Sometimes we all have to be away from (whatever) for awhile before we realize that we may be missing something important, and it's likely he's in that state at the present.
 
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Inkachu

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Thanks for all of the replies. Some very interesting scriptures and viewpoints here. I guess one of my main concerns is that by ignoring this issue of going to church, it will become easier and easier to just skip church all of the time. Its like with many things important. The longer you stay away from it, the easier it becomes to put other things in its place. Eventually church could be forgotten all together like the majority of people do in our society....

This is EXACTLY why your concerns are founded.

I've noticed that you have a really big heart with regard to your friends. Your friends are some really blessed, lucky guys. I wish I had a friend who cared a fraction of that much for me.
 
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Goodbook

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I think just minister to your friend where he or she is at right now.
It could be just visiting and praying with them at home, or sending encouraging scriptures.
Some of us are burned out by the demands of church on top of everything else. Also maybe your friend is looking for a different church fellowship, could be something happened that they didn't want to tell you about..because gossip does hurt others if it gets round.

sometimes meeting together is not meant to be restricted to every sunday. If you can have communion with your friend, then do it. Just break bread and drink together outside of church and be thankful for your friendship and how Jesus brought you together.

Be a real friend not just a FB friend.
 
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Lightsped

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I do care for my friends. Specially the two I have written about here on ChristianForums. They are both good people.

I was supposed to see this particular friend tonight, but he got called into work so that was a no go. We are supposed to see each other tomorrow. I have been praying on this issue. I don't know whether to bring up the church thing or not. Actually he may bring it up himself. I just hope God gives me wisdom and patience with what to say regarding church.
 
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CryOfALion

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First of all, I realize that people don't have to go to church to be saved or to hold a relationship with God.

I have a friend (19 years old) who has been very interested in going to church and has done a really good job of doing so. During the past few weeks he has found "reasons" not to go.

He posted the following on Facebook tonight, and got the usual responses as to be expected by people nowadays about "Christians being hypocrites" and "not needing to go to church", etc....

What kind of real world advise can I give him, and what are some scriptures I could show him? I feel like I am greatly outnumbered because none of his other friends he is seeking advise from go to church/believe in God.

His Facebook post is below:
"havent felt like myself lately, haven't gone to church in 3 weeks and for some reason i dont feel guilty like i normally did, idk if its cus i'm burned out from work or if its cus i just dont feel the need to go anymore but is it wrong if i dont go but still have faith and pray to god when im going through good times and bad? Already talked to my friend bout it but still, i'm not feeling church anymore...."

It sounds like an issue deeper than fellowship - like dissolution. Still, it is important to note that an edifice is not needed to fellowship. Most everyone on these forums are participating in "church." Why?

For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.
Matt 18:20

Not to say church is bad, but there is more than one way to skin a spiritual cat. In general, fellowship is highly encouraged for spiritual longevity and growth

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Heb 15:20.

Is it also important to note the Church is a body of people, not an institution. Institution is institution.
 
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Albion

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I do care for my friends. Specially the two I have written about here on ChristianForums. They are both good people.

I was supposed to see this particular friend tonight, but he got called into work so that was a no go. We are supposed to see each other tomorrow. I have been praying on this issue. I don't know whether to bring up the church thing or not. Actually he may bring it up himself. I just hope God gives me wisdom and patience with what to say regarding church.

FWIW, I still think you'll have better results if you approach the subject very gently, if at all. Maybe saying nothing for a few meetings will make him feel not so pressured...and then he might be less resistant to your advice.
 
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