I'm at a very discouraging point in my life. How is one to stay happy and okay with being alone while waiting for who God has for you? I thought I found who he was, but God showed my pastor different. It's bittersweet. And I know it's not just her, she is a great woman of God and things God has shown her about me before have come to pass even when I thought there was absolutely no way or I could change it. Anyways, I guess it's hard because not to sound vain or pretentious, but I'm a good looking woman and in the secular world, I've never stayed single longer than I wanted to. But it freaking baffles me that one of my main issues on dating christian men is no sex before marriage. How in the heck do so many Christians think it's okay to bang whoever and God be okay with that? I mean, trust me, it's hard to follow it, it's hard not to give in to anything of a sexual nature, but no sex before marriage SHOULD be a common practice among the church. Anyways, sorry about the side rant. How does one not give into doing things your way and wait patiently on God for what he has for you without being freaking depressed about it?
How do you stay encouraged while waiting?
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DrewJosiah
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Hey Joy,
I'm sorry about the discouraging times you are going through. If it's any worth mentioning, I am going through the same thing in a sense. I was engaged and although my relationship didn't end because of a pastor, it ended without me wanting it to non the less. I've learned the hardest things TO DO is be patient with God's timing of all things.. Saying we will be patient is the easy part, following through with it is another story. It sounds like you already know this though. Just try to keep your chin up, and know His timing for His plans are beyond perfect. : )
On your "side rant"..
I'm sorry to say I have a few guy friends who are in that boat. They have no shame in sleeping around, becuase to them, God will show them the one He has for them through sex... I suppose?
While I can't claim to be any better than them because I have already lost that portion of my clarity, I am on the opposite end of thinking its okay to "bang whoever". I already dread the day I find the woman God has for me, and I have to tell her I didn't save myself for her.
I'm sorry about the discouraging times you are going through. If it's any worth mentioning, I am going through the same thing in a sense. I was engaged and although my relationship didn't end because of a pastor, it ended without me wanting it to non the less. I've learned the hardest things TO DO is be patient with God's timing of all things.. Saying we will be patient is the easy part, following through with it is another story. It sounds like you already know this though. Just try to keep your chin up, and know His timing for His plans are beyond perfect. : )
On your "side rant"..
I'm sorry to say I have a few guy friends who are in that boat. They have no shame in sleeping around, becuase to them, God will show them the one He has for them through sex... I suppose?
While I can't claim to be any better than them because I have already lost that portion of my clarity, I am on the opposite end of thinking its okay to "bang whoever". I already dread the day I find the woman God has for me, and I have to tell her I didn't save myself for her.
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Thanks for the encouraging words, definitely much needed. It really does suck to be close to marriage with someone and you end up with nothing....at least for the time being. But of course we as human beings find it hard to think more about the future than the present.
I think our society has messed us up so bad that sex has unnecessarily become the focus of relationships. I think most relationships would end if you weren't allowed to sleep with them for a couple of months, haha. Unfortunately, it will be a rare gem for anyone to find someone that waited until marriage. I wish I could of been raised Christian and felt the power of God early in my life, but that's not how God planned it so my future husband will just have to deal with it, hahaha.
Psalms 103:5 and Psalms 37:3-6 usually help me stay encouraged, but I guess I need to dig deeper and find more to stay positive while waiting.
I think our society has messed us up so bad that sex has unnecessarily become the focus of relationships. I think most relationships would end if you weren't allowed to sleep with them for a couple of months, haha. Unfortunately, it will be a rare gem for anyone to find someone that waited until marriage. I wish I could of been raised Christian and felt the power of God early in my life, but that's not how God planned it so my future husband will just have to deal with it, hahaha.
Psalms 103:5 and Psalms 37:3-6 usually help me stay encouraged, but I guess I need to dig deeper and find more to stay positive while waiting.
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DrewJosiah
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Don't even mention it!
It really does suck, especially when you have the history/comfortability aspect thrown in. The change itself is a big smack in the face. You are essentially adjusting to a new life. It's tough.
I couldn't agree more with you about sex becoming the focus of relationships. And honestly it's depressing.That thought has been plaguing my mind when I think about approaching someone new. Like it's just going to turn out how every relationship is expected to turn out now a days. I feel like at my age, it's required to sleep with whoever you're dating, and if not there's something wrong with you. Also agree with you about finding a person who did wait. However, if I ended up with a woman who had saved herself for me, I don't know how I would handle that since I wouldn't be able to say the same.
Yes, those are really good verses
1 Corinthians 2:9 has been my go to for the past couple of weeks while feeling like this.
It really does suck, especially when you have the history/comfortability aspect thrown in. The change itself is a big smack in the face. You are essentially adjusting to a new life. It's tough.
I couldn't agree more with you about sex becoming the focus of relationships. And honestly it's depressing.That thought has been plaguing my mind when I think about approaching someone new. Like it's just going to turn out how every relationship is expected to turn out now a days. I feel like at my age, it's required to sleep with whoever you're dating, and if not there's something wrong with you. Also agree with you about finding a person who did wait. However, if I ended up with a woman who had saved herself for me, I don't know how I would handle that since I wouldn't be able to say the same.
Yes, those are really good verses
1 Corinthians 2:9 has been my go to for the past couple of weeks while feeling like this.
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Abso-freaking-lutely. It's definitely hard. Dating is super hard when you want to honor no sex before marriage. Well, more than hard, almost non existent, haha. I think at any age, sex is expected in a relationship, which could be a huge factor of why 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce. Who really marries their best friend anymore, you know? Like you would enjoy their company even though you couldn't sleep with them for an extended period of time. I know there's only been one man that has been okay with the no sex before marriage thing, and that's the one I thought was my husband. I think if you were to find a girl that waited, she would have the understanding knowing why you didn't wait, I'm sure God would have prepared her for that if He brought her to you.
That's a pretty excellent verse as well, will have to add that to my reading.
That's a pretty excellent verse as well, will have to add that to my reading.
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DrewJosiah
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Yeah I suppose the divorce rate isn't such a surprise when you put it that way. Makes me all the more determined though to wait for the right one this time, and when I do meet her, to wait it out that way our relationship doesn't have such a strong reliability on sex. Especially when it's not supposed before we're married, I think that's why God intended to save it for marriage.
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I know that's right. I feel the same way. I feel that if I can make a mental, emotional, and spiritual connection with someone, physical will come and the relationship will be just that much stronger. Makes sense why God would have people wait.
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Doctor Strangelove
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A lot of of what is called love is just infatuation or physical attraction, which is about all our shallow culture understands. The emphasis on getting physical and making that almost an idol is putting the cart before the horse, to use an old expression.
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Doctor Strangelove
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And its okay to be discouraged - it's not pleasant. If you don't fit in with a messed-up culture, embrace the subversiveness of being a nonconformist.
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You're absolutely right about that. And I think that's a huge problem for people, we get married based on a feeling, which usually is just infatuation, and once that feeling is gone, there's no real commitment and so there's either infidelity or divorce. We never really learned the person, we just learned their body and how they made us feel.
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Hi. Yes. Believe it or not I waited till Igot married. He tried many times but i held off because i was raised in a Christian home. Both my parents waited and they were happily married for 52 years. My mom recently went home to be with our Lord. My dad is free now but he says he will rremain faithful and should God choose to supply him a new wife he says he will wait till they get married.
I waited because i knew that there are blessings you get when you wait. That being said , i have three boys and they are exceptional young men. God loving, respectful, happy, healthy, talented and very intelligent. I was , yes was, married for 18 years. I chose to get a divorce because he cheated on me and he hid lots of things from me. I was too busy with the house, the boys and working full time tthat I didn't think he would be doing things behind my back. (Drugs ,alcohol, sex, and lingerie cross dressing) . After all , I waited an honored God and my marriage was supposed to be blessed. I guess it was as far as the kids are concerned. But I have remained confused. I have three sisters and one brother. They all were pregnant before they got married and they are still married. So how does that work? Could I have had sex with my first boyfriend that I loved very much then marry my ex and my marriage would have turned out great?
I have been divorced for 4 years now. And back in January of this year I was engaged to what i again thought was a good Christian man. On December 31. I got a call from some woman claiming to be my guy's fiancé. Long story short , that day he called me in the morning we talked for a half hour he told me he loved me. Then the same day in the evening he told me he found a beautiful lady they were getting married and he never wanted to talk to me again. He changed his number and deleted his email addresses.
So now i ask the un answered question WHY?. I put out fleeces, i prayed, and all came to be all ppositive that it was God's will for me to marry him. I have sought out counseling and I'm pretty much normal , beautiful, caring. ..a gem... yet, i ask WHY?????? I did grow in love with him and now I'm the one that hurts and i cry myself to sleep every night.
I waited because i knew that there are blessings you get when you wait. That being said , i have three boys and they are exceptional young men. God loving, respectful, happy, healthy, talented and very intelligent. I was , yes was, married for 18 years. I chose to get a divorce because he cheated on me and he hid lots of things from me. I was too busy with the house, the boys and working full time tthat I didn't think he would be doing things behind my back. (Drugs ,alcohol, sex, and lingerie cross dressing) . After all , I waited an honored God and my marriage was supposed to be blessed. I guess it was as far as the kids are concerned. But I have remained confused. I have three sisters and one brother. They all were pregnant before they got married and they are still married. So how does that work? Could I have had sex with my first boyfriend that I loved very much then marry my ex and my marriage would have turned out great?
I have been divorced for 4 years now. And back in January of this year I was engaged to what i again thought was a good Christian man. On December 31. I got a call from some woman claiming to be my guy's fiancé. Long story short , that day he called me in the morning we talked for a half hour he told me he loved me. Then the same day in the evening he told me he found a beautiful lady they were getting married and he never wanted to talk to me again. He changed his number and deleted his email addresses.
So now i ask the un answered question WHY?. I put out fleeces, i prayed, and all came to be all ppositive that it was God's will for me to marry him. I have sought out counseling and I'm pretty much normal , beautiful, caring. ..a gem... yet, i ask WHY?????? I did grow in love with him and now I'm the one that hurts and i cry myself to sleep every night.
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Messy
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Hi. Yes. Believe it or not I waited till Igot married. He tried many times but i held off because i was raised in a Christian home. Both my parents waited and they were happily married for 52 years. My mom recently went home to be with our Lord. My dad is free now but he says he will rremain faithful and should God choose to supply him a new wife he says he will wait till they get married.
I waited because i knew that there are blessings you get when you wait. That being said , i have three boys and they are exceptional young men. God loving, respectful, happy, healthy, talented and very intelligent. I was , yes was, married for 18 years. I chose to get a divorce because he cheated on me and he hid lots of things from me. I was too busy with the house, the boys and working full time tthat I didn't think he would be doing things behind my back. (Drugs ,alcohol, sex, and lingerie cross dressing) . After all , I waited an honored God and my marriage was supposed to be blessed. I guess it was as far as the kids are concerned. But I have remained confused. I have three sisters and one brother. They all were pregnant before they got married and they are still married. So how does that work? Could I have had sex with my first boyfriend that I loved very much then marry my ex and my marriage would have turned out great?
I have been divorced for 4 years now. And back in January of this year I was engaged to what i again thought was a good Christian man. On December 31. I got a call from some woman claiming to be my guy's fiancé. Long story short , that day he called me in the morning we talked for a half hour he told me he loved me. Then the same day in the evening he told me he found a beautiful lady they were getting married and he never wanted to talk to me again. He changed his number and deleted his email addresses.
So now i ask the un answered question WHY?. I put out fleeces, i prayed, and all came to be all ppositive that it was God's will for me to marry him. I have sought out counseling and I'm pretty much normal , beautiful, caring. ..a gem... yet, i ask WHY?????? I did grow in love with him and now I'm the one that hurts and i cry myself to sleep every night.
That's terrible.Yeah it sucks. Why? Because people do what they want and even a Godly marriage can break apart. I was so mad when my ex wanted a divorce and was chatting with someone else. I did all the right things. I waited for 'the man God had for me', never dated anyone else before him, 'cause I was already faithful before I met him and then you get this. My sister first lived together and she's happily married and not even saved yet. I was so angry I run off with an atheist. 'You can't trust those christians.' No good idea, now I just enjoy the kids, I forgave my ex, we can go along good, I even go to his church again. God called us for the ministry and the devil didn't like it. Marriage is over, but we can raise the kids together and win souls together. What else matters anyway? He found a good wife now and I'm happy single, Jesus is the best Partner you can have anyway.
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T
trentlogain2
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God gave me message personally years ago that I've tried to apply to my life when times like discouragement have crept in. I haven't always been faithful to follow these. I've failed many times, but God is always faithful. Here it is.. I hope it might be a blessing to you or someone else.
1. Secure my salvation. (make sure no sin is hindering fellowship or communion with God)
2. Study the word of God. (hear from Jesus out of the scriptures)
3.Supplicate myself in prayer
4. Sing songs of praise (enter into holy worship with Him)
5. Surround myself with fellow believers (don't neglect the gathering of myself with Christians who are able to edify and love on me)
6. Share the Lord Christ with others (one of the best ways to get my mind off my troubles and problems is serving others) amen
1. Secure my salvation. (make sure no sin is hindering fellowship or communion with God)
2. Study the word of God. (hear from Jesus out of the scriptures)
3.Supplicate myself in prayer
4. Sing songs of praise (enter into holy worship with Him)
5. Surround myself with fellow believers (don't neglect the gathering of myself with Christians who are able to edify and love on me)
6. Share the Lord Christ with others (one of the best ways to get my mind off my troubles and problems is serving others) amen
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God Is Immortal
The Truth Does Not Argue With The Truth
I stopped looking. I stopped waiting. God comes first, after all, seek first his kingdom and his righteousness. Some tend to make idolatry out of this type of love and exalt companionship over God.
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at least you are had a relationship for me I am waiting on God for my first relationship and I am 33 years old.
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story of my life. I've always longed to be in a relationship and ironically never have been. I've now literally come to the point of giving up on the idea of ever being with anyone. it just leads you to assume that you're obviously lacking something in looks/personality/talents to deserve a partner.
I feel like there is a big universal secret that allows you to be with someone which I'm missing out on/haven't picked up yet. *end of self pitying rant*
I feel like there is a big universal secret that allows you to be with someone which I'm missing out on/haven't picked up yet. *end of self pitying rant*
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CCHIPSS
Love will overcome evil (Romans 12:9-21)
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It is not about finding the right man. It is about becoming the woman that the man you are looking for will be looking for. So while you are waiting, improve yourself in Godly ways. Read the bible. Learn about Godly love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
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How did God show your pastor something He didn't show you? Or did she just point out something about him that made you realize that he wasn't "the one".
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