Question to Guys

Jupiter Drops

be like a flower and turn your face to the sun
Jan 20, 2012
9,178
965
✟21,341.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
I would start with the problem of thinking all men are alike. Take a moment. Are you like every woman you've ever met? Are you like the majority of women you've met?

And speaking on behalf of my limited experience of men, some insist on the ideal and some do not. Those wanting an ideal end up being single. I cannot recall any man wanting to marry to avoid discomfort or loneliness. Then again, since I recall my own temptation, I would think others might have that temptation and give in.

as for my other silly comments, yes I did try to get to know you. But my interest was friendly and to the point about you being so creative. In other words, you were talking about meaning and purpose and direction in life and I found it fascinating and thought we might be cool friends. But no.

.


I'm sorry that I'm not so cool :cry:



Ok, forgive me - your questions are often worded in such a way as if you can assume or expect a given answer, or at least one that is much more accepted than another (see bold)

I've worded it this way on purpose just to see what kind of response I would get.

I expected to see more people get offended, but I stand corrected.

Also, to be more exact, I've worded it that way to see more personal answers rather than the 'run-of-the-mill' standard answer such as "All girls are beautiful and special" and whatnot.

LOL Actually, Im the Legendary "Nice Guy that Finished Last". One reason I havent been seriously looking in the last few years is that Ive about come to the conclusion that all the good women were taken and all thats left, at least in my area, are the dregs. (only half joking).


There are still good women out there!! Go forth!! I give you my blessings ^_^
 
Upvote 0

Jupiter Drops

be like a flower and turn your face to the sun
Jan 20, 2012
9,178
965
✟21,341.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Up to a point - studies show that the likelihood of bachelors marrying significantly declines after the age of 40. Given this, I would say that older men seem to hold on to the "ideal" rather than settle for just any female that walks by. But, once again, age counts in this scenario.

I think a younger man might be more likely to settle than a man beyond his late 30s.

It's probably the same for women too (with more different reasons), but I heard that it declines because our biases become solid concrete after the age of 40.

JD: But you see I am--in fact--answering your question.

.


chucknorristhumbsup.jpg

I reckon it depends on what the ideal is in the first place. If a man (hopefully because of his employment) cannot cook, do housework, and is lonely, then his ideal might be an amiable and capable woman for domestic services, companionship, and a bedfellow.

Honestly, intimate (as in close, not sexual per se) companionship is the main thing that attracts me about marriage, but if I were to marry for companionship, my ideal would be someone who shares many of my interests. But then again, that would be a prerequisite to any marriage of mine, I should think.

I wouldn't marry just any woman (even if we had common interests), if that's what you're asking.


Good answer :thumbsup:
 
Upvote 0

.Mikha'el.

7x13=28
Christian Forums Staff
Supervisor
Supporter
May 22, 2004
33,059
6,418
39
British Columbia
✟997,551.00
Country
Canada
Faith
Messianic
Marital Status
Single
Up to a point - studies show that the likelihood of bachelors marrying significantly declines after the age of 40. Given this, I would say that older men seem to hold on to the "ideal" rather than settle for just any female that walks by. But, once again, age counts in this scenario.

I think a younger man might be more likely to settle than a man beyond his late 30s.
I'd read it as older men coming to terms with the fact that being single is how life will play out for them, and being okay with it. I think the younger ones still want that special someone, and the stronger that urge, the more likely they are to sell out. I don't see age as relevant to desperation.
 
Upvote 0

Neve

Always even
Jul 27, 2006
4,860
433
Corona
✟14,608.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Democrat
I'd read it as older men coming to terms with the fact that being single is how life will play out for them, and being okay with it. I think the younger ones still want that special someone, and the stronger that urge, the more likely they are to sell out. I don't see age as relevant to desperation.

I don't equate "settling" with "desperation."
 
Upvote 0
N

Nanopants

Guest
When I was something around 18-25, I held on pretty firmly to one kind of "ideal," and then later I came to find out that my "ideals" were not "ideal" at all, because I couldn't really be intimate with my "ideal," perfect partner. Now my "ideal" is a similarly "imperfect" person with whom I can relate. In other words, my ideal is that our "flaws" (as seen by society) have to fit, but I wouldn't be committed to considering them to be flaws at all. I don't see it as settling, and I still have standards, but they changed when I started to discover what I actually needed in a woman.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Waddler

Live a story worth telling well.
Jul 19, 2014
2,502
591
38
Colorado Springs, CO
✟19,984.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
Female members are free to answer my question as well:

Are guys usually okay with marrying someone who is not their 'ideal'? In other words, are guys okay with marrying just about any woman for the sake of comfort and avoiding loneliness?

I sometimes have conversations about marriage with guys, and it seems like the answer is about marrying a woman, and that's about it.

No, I'm not willing to marry just any woman for the sake of having a companion. Men who just want to be married are desperate, shouldn't be in a marriage. I personally am willing to marry a woman who is not my "ideal;" in fact, I expect to marry a woman who is not my ideal (if I marry at all).
 
Upvote 0

Orange Crow

Well-Known Member
Aug 16, 2014
2,460
379
28
Rotterdam, The Netherlands
✟39,246.00
Country
Netherlands
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Female members are free to answer my question as well:

Are guys usually okay with marrying someone who is not their 'ideal'? In other words, are guys okay with marrying just about any woman for the sake of comfort and avoiding loneliness?

I sometimes have conversations about marriage with guys, and it seems like the answer is about marrying a woman, and that's about it.

I'm also speaking for myself with my own points of view;

I'm not marrying a woman for the sake of comfort and avoiding loneliness. I don't have to start thinking about that either at this point, seen my age.
My 'ideal' woman does'nt need to be perfectly ideal. Everybody has it's 'good' or 'less good/worse' sides. If I meet someone that I like by the looks, and after knowing each other more after a while.. If it turns out that for like 80% she has everything I expected, but that 20% is'nt, the 80% is perfect for me. She does'nt have to be completly perfect, the chances are low that that ever happens.

I sometimes have conversations about marriage with guys, and it seems like the answer is about marrying a woman, and that's about it.

Nope, not me.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

High Fidelity

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Feb 9, 2014
24,258
10,276
✟896,801.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Private
Female members are free to answer my question as well:

Are guys usually okay with marrying someone who is not their 'ideal'? In other words, are guys okay with marrying just about any woman for the sake of comfort and avoiding loneliness?

I sometimes have conversations about marriage with guys, and it seems like the answer is about marrying a woman, and that's about it.

No, and frankly if someone tells you they are prepared to, they're a fool or a liar.

I said in another thread not long ago that I'd wager the vast majority of people could get married if they didn't care about it lasting or happiness.

Divorce rates as high as they are, to me, is indicative of people jumping the gun and rushing into things far too soon. For me, it would take months and maybe even more than a year to commit to beginning a relationship because if I begin a relationship then I intend for it to last and to go all the way.
That's not to say it's a guaranteed thing, of course not, but I like to think that me and my prospective wife have given ourselves as good a chance as any at making it work or deciding that maybe it isn't meant to be and going our separate ways.
I just think it's better to try and find potential conflicts that may arise down the road. It is kinda awkward broaching the subject about what you'd teach your kids about something like the origins of life (Young Earth Creation, Intelligent Design, Evolution, Theistic Evolution) etc because if you believe what you do, you probably hold beliefs like that in your heart and can't imagine it any differently -- So to suddenly be faced with conflicting views and a child looking for answers, it's potentially a defining argument waiting to happen.

That isn't the only example, but I think that gives an insight into my thought process at least when approaching things and that I like to be pragmatic. Opinions may change in the future, but I think some things need to be asked, regardless of how awkward they may be.
There's no rush, after all; If you're considering potentially the rest of your life with someone, it's counter-productive to be hasty about it. Not to mention if you end up loving them, you should ultimately want what is best for them, even if that means someone other than yourself waiting at the end of the aisle for her.

Anyway, TL;DR -- No.
 
Upvote 0

Nobadee

Newbie
Jul 25, 2013
21
0
Houston, TX
Visit site
✟7,631.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Female members are free to answer my question as well:

Are guys usually okay with marrying someone who is not their 'ideal'? In other words, are guys okay with marrying just about any woman for the sake of comfort and avoiding loneliness?

I sometimes have conversations about marriage with guys, and it seems like the answer is about marrying a woman, and that's about it.

I can't speak for every guy; but, for me, that would be a big fat hell no! I will know when the right woman comes into my life and I am willing to wait until she does. I have witnessed men marrying women that they met overnight; but, those kinds of relationships, they never seem to pan out for some strange reason.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums