So do you girls actually make sense.
naughty mister. We do make sense. If you would listen more you would know 
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Talking to girls
- Thread starter yuppers
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naughty mister. We do make sense. If you would listen more you would know 
Nom De Guerre
Who amongst you doesn't see life as permanent?
Honestly, you go into any conversation with a girl like you would with a good conversation with one of your buddies...
"Wow it's hot out today..." -
"I like it, I get to wear pretty dresses..."-her
"Yeah, that is a pretty dress...all I get to do is sweat hahaha"-you
Voila. Idk, just smile with your eyes...I've learned to hustle a lot of women that way. They fall hard for soft eyes, makes them feel safe. Once that wall is down...storm the castle
"Wow it's hot out today..." -
"I like it, I get to wear pretty dresses..."-her
"Yeah, that is a pretty dress...all I get to do is sweat hahaha"-you
Voila. Idk, just smile with your eyes...I've learned to hustle a lot of women that way. They fall hard for soft eyes, makes them feel safe. Once that wall is down...storm the castle
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I think guys need to man up and go up to a girl and talk to her if you like her. We are people you know.
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SnowyMacie
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1. Relax, have zero expectations
2. Remember, women are humans as well. They also like music, movies, books, etc. Everyone is interested in something.
3. Let the conversation flow naturally. Once it starts feeling forced and awkward, it's time to end it.
2. Remember, women are humans as well. They also like music, movies, books, etc. Everyone is interested in something.
3. Let the conversation flow naturally. Once it starts feeling forced and awkward, it's time to end it.
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anewman1993
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haha easier said than done. Personally I don't have a problem talking to girls, starting the conversation, finding a reason to go say high. YES I have a problem with that, but actually talking, no. My other big problem is I have absolutely no idea how to shift from small talk to like, flirting.
And lets be honest, some girls, do bite. (Had one who I ask out on a date after talking with her for 3 weeks, she reacted as if I had proposed marriage...... I probably dodged a bullet there.) Most girls are probably going to be let you down gently,but some are going to react horribly, and it sucks.
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Thank you for the advice everyone. Im going to have to practice becoming more calm and manly . I went to church today and the young adults leader told me I should go to there meeting this week. I'm thinking I should, seeing as I've been going to that church off and on for over a year know. Most of the guys know me there a bit because my sister is friends with everyone from church...... If she's there I could try and go talk to her. We'll see though easier said then done right. Maybe if I pray for strength god will help me over come my fears, or at least a little bit. But I guess it's up to him because god knows my life plan. I'd wrather look like a goof in front of someone I find attractive then mess up gods plan for her if it's not ment to be.
. I went to church today and the young adults leader told me I should go to there meeting this week. I'm thinking I should, seeing as I've been going to that church off and on for over a year know. Most of the guys know me there a bit because my sister is friends with everyone from church...... If she's there I could try and go talk to her. We'll see though easier said then done right. Maybe if I pray for strength god will help me over come my fears, or at least a little bit. But I guess it's up to him because god knows my life plan. I'd wrather look like a goof in front of someone I find attractive then mess up gods plan for her if it's not ment to be.
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Waddler
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Why do you need to flirt? If you're flirting, it means you're thinking about romance, which (should) mean you know the woman fairly well. That would lead me to believe you're comfortable talking to her. If you don't know her well, you shouldn't be flirting, so you don't need to worry about it.
Don't run before you walk. All you have to do is talk to a woman like any other person, with zero expectations. You have to get any ideas of romance or the future or what you want out of your mind. Otherwise you're going to take things way too seriously, and when she lets you down--gently or not--you're going to get disappointed.
Rinse, repeat.
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anewman1993
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Meh, I can be perfectly comfortable talking to a woman (or close enough to comfortable) for a while. However its making that leap from talking as "friends" who chat before class/at church/whatever regularly to actually having a romantic interest and wanting to ask her out that kills me. I'm a blunt person and last time I ask a girl out she reacted as if I had ask for her hand in marriage. Apparently asking someone out for coffee means your desperate
I have no idea how to express that I'm romantically interested, and when I do that means it comes as a complete shock/out of the blue for them.
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Waddler
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Meh, I can be perfectly comfortable talking to a woman (or close enough to comfortable) for a while. However its making that leap from talking as "friends" who chat before class/at church/whatever regularly to actually having a romantic interest and wanting to ask her out that kills me. I'm a blunt person and last time I ask a girl out she reacted as if I had ask for her hand in marriage. Apparently asking someone out for coffee means your desperate
I have no idea how to express that I'm romantically interested, and when I do that means it comes as a complete shock/out of the blue for them.
That's why it's easier to be a friend and simply let a romantic interest--a MUTUAL romantic interest--grow between you. It keeps you from having to play the game, from having to observe all the rules of "say this," "don't do that," and all that crap that's so meaningless.
Be friends with a woman, and remain her friend. If she's interested, it will show. When the mutual interest develops, it will be unavoidable. You won't be able to miss it.
Until then, you have to be patient.
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anewman1993
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Alright....let me spell this out even more clearly. I can not tell when a woman is interested. I suck at expressing interest, in fact I think I actually give off an uninterested vib when talking to a girl I have a crush on for fear of coming off to strong. No matter how long we are friends, those facts remain.
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SnowyMacie
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anewman1993
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Tried that approach my whole life, it hasn't worked. I'm 21 and never so much as been on a date.
"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."
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CCHIPSS
Love will overcome evil (Romans 12:9-21)
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You should join a small group for Christians first. Get used to listening and see how people interact. Listen a lot, don't force yourself to say anything. You can even tell the small group that you are shy and you just want to listen. Most Christians will respect you more for that. Eventually start to slowly interact and improve yourself.
I normally would suggest meetup.com, but in your case don't bother with this. Get comfortable hanging out with 5-6 guys/girls first.
There is no quick fix. But trust in the Lord and find opportunities to slowly improve yourself. I myself always had friends but I used to be super shy around girls too. But remember, God's power is made perfect in weakness. So if one day you do get a girlfriend, cherish her and give praise to the Lord.
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CCHIPSS
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As sinful as Simple Pickup is (treating girls like an object, a commodity, nothing special, etc), I got to say those guys are pretty good teachers for confident and being comfortable around girls.
I suggest that people watch it to learn the skills. But do not carry on with the sin. Neither should you ever pick up girls. Instead make lots of friends, then select a few to date.
Act like girls are nothing special (if this helps you). But do not even think for a second your sisters in Christ is nothing special. They are loved and cherished daughters of God. Act like you don't care on the outside, learn the poker face and controlled humor, but deep in your heart remember they are important to God and you. Acting is acting, and it will help you get started. But do not make that acting a reality. At the end you still have to be you. And you must first learn to love your true self, at your current situation, before you can learn to love others.
Be truthful. Let your yes be yes and no be no. Keep remembering that you survived for the past 20 years without a girl. You can survive without any woman. If a woman rejects you there are millions more. But each woman are still daughters of God, and God loves each one of them. Remember this. Learn to be confident, but do not use this confidence for evil. Get stronger, but do not leverage your strength for evil. Instead leverage whatever you have for goodness and for truly loving others.
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Miles
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It might help to re-frame it as talking *with* them rather than talking *to* them. After all, it's not like you're going to lecture or give a speech. They'll probably want to hold up their end of the conversation, which should lessen the pressure on you.
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Walking into Starbucks, I ask her "Do you want something to drink?" She said no.
3 minutes after we left the store she ask me "Can I take a sip of your drink?"
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