How to deal with a spouse w/severe OCD?

Remember BeRighteous that the Lord speaks in different ways. Can you lead your family in bible study or reading the bible? Can you play calm soothing Christian music? Can you pray with your wife and for you both together.

Don't doubt that you can still 'help' calm the turbulent waters. It takes faith to trust God through the hard times.

I pray that God strengthens you in your faith and gives you peace in His rest. In Jesus name. Amen.

*big hug*

I really hate "trite" quotes, but you've probably heard: "God helps those who helps themselves". There is help available but the person has to "want" the help. They have to cooperate with God in regard to how He chooses to help them.. on His terms not theirs.
I used to feel that God should just miraculously heal me, remove every trace of my OCD w/o meds., or therapy - but just because I was asking Him to do it for me.
He did help me but in a way that forced me to be humble and open about needing help. I'm not "healed" of OCD, but God definitely provided the answers and information that I needed so I could "choose" to do the things that would benefit me and my family.
You cannot choose this for your wife. She has to choose it.
My concern right now is you. You need to do the right things for yourself. There is no excuse for abuse and bullying, whether it's verbal, emotional or physical.
The best thing you can do for her, is to get help for yourself. You need someone to guide you in regard to setting boundaries so that the abusive behavior doesn't rob you of your own life.
I know your wife is in a lot of mental pain, because I have OCD and it's excruciating when it's bad, but that doesn't give her the right to mistreat you. And.. she has no reason, no incentive to try and get better if you allow her to continue to berate you and control your every move. This isn't healthy for either of you. Seeking help and guidance for your own mental health may be the first step toward healing in the relationship.
I'm so sorry. I know you must feel there is no hope. But there is hope and help for the both of you. I feel that you going to get help would demonstrate that you care enough about the relationship to seek help and maybe.. just maybe... she'll get up the courage to do the same. She does need courage, and grit and perseverance to do the right thing. Praying!

berighteous said:

It's hard when she doesn't want to hear about being good, cause "being good got her nothing but OCD misery" as she put it.

It's hard to see the good, loving, helping wife I used to know years ago turned into a nail spitting cursing spouse who drags my soul into the depths of darkness for doing normal things that any normal person might do, one seemingly dedicated to putting us both in the poorhouse, and me into sickness and lunacy with her.

It's hardest to not know the comfort of the God who supposedly promised to be our loving father and near to us, but is absent even after years of prayer on this issue.

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gracealone said:

I really hate "trite" quotes, but you've probably heard: "God helps those who helps themselves". There is help available but the person has to "want" the help. They have to cooperate with God in regard to how He chooses to help them.. on His terms not theirs.
I used to feel that God should just miraculously heal me, remove every trace of my OCD w/o meds., or therapy - but just because I was asking Him to do it for me.
He did help me but in a way that forced me to be humble and open about needing help. I'm not "healed" of OCD, but God definitely provided the answers and information that I needed so I could "choose" to do the things that would benefit me and my family.
You cannot choose this for your wife. She has to choose it.
My concern right now is you. You need to do the right things for yourself. There is no excuse for abuse and bullying, whether it's verbal, emotional or physical.
The best thing you can do for her, is to get help for yourself. You need someone to guide you in regard to setting boundaries so that the abusive behavior doesn't rob you of your own life.
Praying!

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I have found much of the same thing as the Lord has led you to finding help and information in 'choosing', I have found that to from the Lord.

Psalm 23:1-3
"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name's sake"

God will work with her but it is a two way street. The less we listen the more direct God needs to be .... and sometimes that hurts more then if we listened early on.

However, is the situation improving, at least for you? Remember that some situations need tough love and that may be something you need to do.