Finding That "One" For Me By God?

StillBelieve

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This has been a long time coming. Ive made several (!!) hideously horrid mistakes w/EXTREMELY WRONG persons in my past, all of them turning out to be criminals victimizing me except one! Not good statistics for this country.
My question is……I thought I saw one time a scripture about how "there is a woman for every man, and a man for every woman"…..is there some sort of scripture like that? And if so, how in the world does someone find or know WHO that specific person is that God has just for them? What if that person is on the other side of the world? How would we ever meet them?
But now, in this late stage of the "game", we would both have already been
married, and if our ex's are still alive, we wouldn't even be allowed to marry our "special person" and especially to "be" with them in any physical capacity anyway until our ex passes from this physical life! Which could of course, be the rest of OUR lives! Because of that, I must be and might be (if my ex lives as long as I do), celibate for God for life! I would never be free to re-marry.
If there is that Gods chosen person for me out there somewhere that I never met (?) or knew (?), I wish I could meet them again at least just to be friends. I wish I had a real friend that is non-judgmental, and not so far away that its always just a phone call but too far to go because of travel costs. I wish I had a good friend to go walking with that wouldn't judge me for my horrible experiences and would understand and would also be a true believer, and wouldn't judge me for that either!!!!
Oh well, alas, but maybe that is just what dreams are made of.
 
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SnowyMacie

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My question is……I thought I saw one time a scripture about how "there is a woman for every man, and a man for every woman"…..is there some sort of scripture like that?

The closes thing to this is 1 Corinthians 7:2 "But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband." which is saying "Have sex with your spouse and your spouse only".
I can see how you think you read that, but it doesn't actually say that.
 
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StillBelieve

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The closes thing to this is 1 Corinthians 7:2 "But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband." which is saying "Have sex with your spouse and your spouse only".
I can see how you think you read that, but it doesn't actually say that.

Ok, yeah, I have seen that one. But I thought maybe there was one that was more like saying that God has a certain mate for each person??
Maybe not. I can't remember when I read it, or where it was in the Bible.
It was a long time ago.
 
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Gnarwhal

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Ok, yeah, I have seen that one. But I thought maybe there was one that was more like saying that God has a certain mate for each person?? Maybe not. I can't remember when I read it, or where it was in the Bible. It was a long time ago.

I don't think such a passage exists, I think it's just a cute sentiment created by certain types of Christians to calm people down who are antsy to get married.

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TheyCallMeDavid

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This has been a long time coming. Ive made several (!!) hideously horrid mistakes w/EXTREMELY WRONG persons in my past, all of them turning out to be criminals victimizing me except one! Not good statistics for this country.
My question is……I thought I saw one time a scripture about how "there is a woman for every man, and a man for every woman"…..is there some sort of scripture like that? And if so, how in the world does someone find or know WHO that specific person is that God has just for them? What if that person is on the other side of the world? How would we ever meet them?
But now, in this late stage of the "game", we would both have already been
married, and if our ex's are still alive, we wouldn't even be allowed to marry our "special person" and especially to "be" with them in any physical capacity anyway until our ex passes from this physical life! Which could of course, be the rest of OUR lives! Because of that, I must be and might be (if my ex lives as long as I do), celibate for God for life! I would never be free to re-marry.
If there is that Gods chosen person for me out there somewhere that I never met (?) or knew (?), I wish I could meet them again at least just to be friends. I wish I had a real friend that is non-judgmental, and not so far away that its always just a phone call but too far to go because of travel costs. I wish I had a good friend to go walking with that wouldn't judge me for my horrible experiences and would understand and would also be a true believer, and wouldn't judge me for that either!!!!
Oh well, alas, but maybe that is just what dreams are made of.

I think this is fact : There isn't JUST ONE person out there you would be extremely compatible with...but rather...many , even in your own locale.

What I would do is this : SIt down when its dead quiet , and write on a piece of paper all the MUST HAVES in a person and CANNOT HAVES in a person . Think objectively when it comes to this , and only write down things that you wont negotiate on. Then, when you have first or second meetings with a potential dating Partner, youll be able to quickly ascertain if they are material for you , or not, before getting too emotionally invested . Also, id get a book on choosing wisely and the best book ive ever read is the best seller : 'Finding the Love of your Life' by Dr. Neil Clark Warren. Let it guide you thru the process and youll avoid all the common pitfalls to faulty Mate Selection.

Pray pray pray , too. If God wants you to have a S.O. at this time in your life, he will make it happen but he will also work with you on your objective criteria .
 
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Sketcher

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I don't think such a passage exists, I think it's just a cute sentiment created by certain types of Christians to calm people down who are antsy to get married.
+1

And if so, how in the world does someone find or know WHO that specific person is that God has just for them? What if that person is on the other side of the world? How would we ever meet them?
IF there is only one woman of marriageable age who could live with me and I with her, I prefer to let God sort out details like that which I can't control. My responsibility to God is to live my life keeping his commands and being open to his work. Being as I'm single, I can date single people on the way. Maybe a lasting relationship will happen, maybe not.

But now, in this late stage of the "game", we would both have already been
married, and if our ex's are still alive, we wouldn't even be allowed to marry our "special person" and especially to "be" with them in any physical capacity anyway until our ex passes from this physical life! Which could of course, be the rest of OUR lives! Because of that, I must be and might be (if my ex lives as long as I do), celibate for God for life! I would never be free to re-marry.
Then live that life in such a way that honors God. Enjoy it as much as you can within the parameters of honoring God. Are there other single women around your age in church who you can be friends with?
 
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StillBelieve

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I think this is fact : There isn't JUST ONE person out there you would be extremely compatible with...but rather...many , even in your own locale.

What I would do is this : SIt down when its dead quiet , and write on a piece of paper all the MUST HAVES in a person and CANNOT HAVES in a person . Think objectively when it comes to this , and only write down things that you wont negotiate on. Then, when you have first or second meetings with a potential dating Partner, youll be able to quickly ascertain if they are material for you , or not, before getting too emotionally invested . Also, id get a book on choosing wisely and the best book ive ever read is the best seller : 'Finding the Love of your Life' by Dr. Neil Clark Warren. Let it guide you thru the process and youll avoid all the common pitfalls to faulty Mate Selection.

Pray pray pray , too. If God wants you to have a S.O. at this time in your life, he will make it happen but he will also work with you on your objective criteria .

Thats good advice, however, I'm not really looking for anyone for a relationship as my ex is very much still alive and "well" (?) here on planet Earth, I just sometimes just wondered if I had passed by some person that was supposed to be meant for me, I wish I could somehow meet them and at least be friends. I am in the process of meeting a few other christian women in the area, don't really know any of them very well yet though. But working on it!!
 
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SnowyMacie

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Thats good advice, however, I'm not really looking for anyone for a relationship as my ex is very much still alive and "well" (?) here on planet Earth,


This is the second time you mentioned about exes passing away, care to expand?
 
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Messy

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I've never seen such a Bible text. God had someone for Isaak. He didn't have a real nice marriage, she set up her son against his dad and Paul says you can marry who you want, nothing about asking God for Mr. Right. I believed in it and I believe God gave him to me, even prophets who also said he was the one, but still we divorced, so I don't think if God has someone for us it's Always so terrific and he understands you completely. And what about if one dies and God has two 'the one's for you?

From Judaism:
Bashert, (Yiddish: באַשערט), is a Yiddish word that means "destiny".[2] It is often used in the context of one's divinely foreordained spouse or soulmate, who is called "basherte" (female) or "basherter" (male). It can also be used to express the seeming fate or destiny of an auspicious or important event, friendship, or happening.

In modern usage, Jewish singles will say that they are looking for their bashert, meaning they are looking for that person who will complement them perfectly, and whom they will complement perfectly. Since it is considered to have been foreordained by God whom one will marry, one's spouse is considered to be one's bashert by definition, independent of whether the couple's marital life works out well or not.
 
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Shattered-Reflections

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"The one" doesn't come from scripture whether in OT or NT. The oldest soulmate story that I know came from Plato. As described in the link below.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soulmate

This does not mean God isn't active in our lives or that the Lord doesn't have plans for us. But the idea of there being only one person out there for you is Not Biblical.
 
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Waddler

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I don't think such a passage exists, I think it's just a cute sentiment created by certain types of Christians to calm people down who are antsy to get married.

Howard%20G%20two%20hands%20up%20pointing%20and%20smiling.jpg
 
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Messy

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"The one" doesn't come from scripture whether in OT or NT. The oldest soulmate story that I know came from Plato. As described in the link below.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soulmate

This does not mean God isn't active in our lives or that the Lord doesn't have plans for us. But the idea of there being only one person out there for you is Not Biblical.

Now I know why I always waited and asked God for 'the one'. They taught me that in church when I was just saved. LOL it isn't even Biblical.
 
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Waddler

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I believe there can be a person you're led to marry, similar to Isaac and Rebekah. That, however, was also a different culture and time, where romantic relationships were much different than in many parts of the world today. I don't believe in soulmates, but I do believe if someone waits around for their soulmate, they'll be alone forever. When it comes to relationships, I believe that once you marry a person, they become your soulmate, because at that point, they become one flesh. However, it's still not a "there's only one on the planet" kind of situation. There are probably hundreds of thousands if not millions of people who are compatible with any given person, with some being more compatible than others.
 
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TheyCallMeDavid

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Thats good advice, however, I'm not really looking for anyone for a relationship as my ex is very much still alive and "well" (?) here on planet Earth, I just sometimes just wondered if I had passed by some person that was supposed to be meant for me, I wish I could somehow meet them and at least be friends. I am in the process of meeting a few other christian women in the area, don't really know any of them very well yet though. But working on it!!

You mean because your Ex Wife is still alive and well, that you don't feel you can be in search of a Significant Other / Dating Relationship ? Do I understand this correctly please ?
 
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StillBelieve

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This is the second time you mentioned about exes passing away, care to expand?

Here's one site that I found…
.
What does the bible say about remarriage

Also, its in all first 4, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John…..about a person if they get divorced (because of the other person commiting adultery) they are still not free to "be " with someone in "that way" and not free to re-marry until their first (divorced) spouse dies.
 
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StillBelieve

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Here it is in black and white! People can either accept Gods Word for what it says, or make excuses to "re-word" Gods Word so they don't have to
follow it. The choice is up to each individual. I won't argue about Gods Word and what it says, so please do not argue these scriptures. If you don't like what you read, then please just keep it to yourself.

Matthew 5:32 ESV /
But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Matthew 19:9 ESV /

And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Romans 7:2 ESV

For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage.

Mark 10:11 ESV

And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her,

1 Corinthians 7:11 ESV

(but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:10-11

To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

Romans 7:3 ESV /

Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.

Luke 16:18 ESV / 4 helpful votes

“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

Mark 10:12 ESV / 4 helpful votes

And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
 
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SnowyMacie

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Here it is in black and white! People can either accept Gods Word for what it says, or make excuses to "re-word" Gods Word so they don't have to
follow it. The choice is up to each individual. I won't argue about Gods Word and what it says, so please do not argue these scriptures. If you don't like what you read, then please just keep it to yourself.

Matthew 5:32 ESV /
But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Matthew 19:9 ESV /

And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Romans 7:2 ESV

For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage.

Mark 10:11 ESV

And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her,

1 Corinthians 7:11 ESV

(but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:10-11

To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

Romans 7:3 ESV /

Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.

Luke 16:18 ESV / 4 helpful votes

“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

Mark 10:12 ESV / 4 helpful votes

And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

I'm sorry you have a legalistic and unforgiving view of God, but since you don't want to discuss it, I guess I can't help you.
 
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Waddler

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Here it is in black and white! People can either accept Gods Word for what it says, or make excuses to "re-word" Gods Word so they don't have to follow it. The choice is up to each individual. I won't argue about Gods Word and what it says, so please do not argue these scriptures. If you don't like what you read, then please just keep it to yourself.

That leads me to believe you've made up your mind and aren't open to discussion, so it puzzles me that you would even bring it up, or try to contribute to the thread. I'm not saying you shouldn't, but we are here to discuss things and grow, even if we don't agree with each other. Please reconsider your position that you are not willing to discuss varying points of view.
 
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StillBelieve

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I'm sorry you have a legalistic and unforgiving view of God, but since you don't want to discuss it, I guess I can't help you.

Its not "legalistic", its GODS WORD! Period. Sorry you have that attitude about His Word. And theres really nothing that you can "help" me with.
 
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