Holding hands?

"Don't stir love unless it pleases" Song of Solomon

DukeJohn said:

i just wanted to know if it is unbiblical to hold hands i have read on the internet some people say its ok and some people say its not? so if you could. can you give me some bible references if possible to whether its ok or not (King James please )

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The Bible warns against sexual impropriety (immorality) , to not get romantically involved with an UNbeliever, and to have respect for each others Bodys as well as our own. Holding hands with the opposite sex as a means of affection, is acceptable and can be applied to a fellow Believer whether used in an act of compassion, empathy, agreement , sorrow, prayer, a liking for the Person, etc... Where an Unbeliever is concerned, we should be very wise and discerning about doing it and motives should be checked and must not violate Gods commands.

My advice is .... if in doubt whether its wise to hold hands with someone, then it is better to err on the side of safety and propriety and so refrain from doing it.

I know very few people who would have thought struggles with just holding hands with someone.

Bottom line is that each relationship is different and some activities or ways of showing affection are fine for some couples and others should be more reserved. It's up to you and your boyfriend / girlfriend to determine what is honoring to God and what will lead you into temptation.

I see not being able to hold hands as bordering on legalism, but that's just my own opinion. If it was indeed a problem for you to hold hands, and it was causing you to stumble, then by all means don't do it. But also don't not do it just because "someone said not to" on the internet.

Spunkn said:

I know very few people who would have thought struggles with just holding hands with someone.

Bottom line is that each relationship is different and some activities or ways of showing affection are fine for some couples and others should be more reserved. It's up to you and your boyfriend / girlfriend to determine what is honoring to God and what will lead you into temptation.

I see not being able to hold hands as bordering on legalism, but that's just my own opinion. If it was indeed a problem for you to hold hands, and it was causing you to stumble, then by all means don't do it. But also don't not do it just because "someone said not to" on the internet.

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'It's up to you and your boyfriend / girlfriend to determine what is honoring to God and what will lead you into temptation'..............

RESPONSE : By first going to Gods Word and if the answer isn't in there, then considering Gods very person/character/nature ; look for objective answers and not what you and your b/f-g/f determine . If one of you is an Unbeliever, its a slippery slope and borderline biblical violation to enter into any form of intimacy such as showing romantic affection thru holding hands.

The Bible is not going to tell you whether it's okay or not for you to hold hands.

It expects you to have understood the principles of the Bible and apply them to different situations.

So in each relationship, you have to determine what is appropriate based on your own strengths / weakness.

I have no problems hand holding, hugging, or kissing. My girlfriend struggles with thoughts during kissing, so we determined that we would refrain from kissing until she decides that she is okay with it (or if she doesn't that's fine too). That works for us. What works for us, may not work for someone else. Obviously there's a definite line past kissing such as heavy petting, oral sex etc...

Having an unbeliever as a boyfriend / girlfriend is a completely seperate issue. That's a bigger problem than just whether or not to hold hands.

Spunkn said:

The Bible is not going to tell you whether it's okay or not for you to hold hands.

It expects you to have understood the principles of the Bible and apply them to different situations.

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Precisely. One thing is for sure, even light physical intimacy develops and cements a relationship so it must be very carefully considered before starting including IF it is premature ; generally speaking...holding hands is pretty much no big deal to a guy but to a woman , it IS making a statement . A woman is far more sensitive to any kind of affection given versus a man ; so men must be very considerate of entering into the physical and not do it prematurely in addition to drawing a firm line. It would behoove 2 Christian people who are dating to spend their time on the development of the spiritual and emotional because the physical needs little or no work between two people of the opposite sex who respect and enjoy each others company very much.

An excellent book for young adults is the Christian book called : Too close, too soon from www.amazon.com . It gives a very sound accurate portrayal of a man and womans responsiveness to the physical and provides a time-table on when to introduce various physical acts all the way up to the marriage night.

Its imperative that we treat our sisters and brothers in Christ in the highest regard , for we will be spending an eternity with them and the Lord expects us to treat one another very carefully and correctly .

even light physical intimacy develops and cements a relationship

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While I think hand-holding is safe and appropriate, I agree this is true. It usually serves that purpose -- a statement of commitment (or so the woman thinks, lol).

You might have heard people speak against it because certain denominations and churches with high restraints will set guidelines for their members. But this can be fear-based, using rules to shape instead of teaching people to develop self-restraint and personal discernment. (A little extra precaution is good.)

Holding hands is also a friendly gesture in some countries, so it's not an evil act that needs to be shunned. As said above -- if it means something, then make sure you're ready to stand behind your statements.

Once you are married its okay to do that.

My personal reaction -- of course it's okay! Unless the person has poison ivy. But you asked for scriptures.

^ I agree Parsley, LOL

There is not a thing wrong with holding hands, don't worry about it. The Bible is not going to tell you whether it's okay or not for you to hold hands.

I'm not going to say it's universally "OK" to do anything, if you aren't comfortable with it, or you have doubts about it. Just because a lot of other people can hold hands and be perfectly fine doesn't mean you necessarily can. You need to follow your own conscience, as led by God's word and the Holy Spirit within you. For some people, any physical touch, even holding hands, can be very erotic and stimulating. If you find yourself feeling things that you aren't comfortable feeling when you hold hands, then stop holding hands.

This is really between you, God, and your significant other.