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Would you marry someone who was possibly transgender?

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Jul 20, 2014
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My gf and I are planing to get married very soon. But I'm skeptical because she's always identified as more on the male side of things. It worked out well because I tend to fit more on the female side of things despite her being a biofemale and me being biological male. She's said in the past she felt more like a gay man than a straight woman not a stereotype either but in the way that she's a dude that happens to like men on the inside. She's 100% female on the outside. I never minded because she had chosen to live as a female mostly. I am bisexual myself so like pronouns and style of dress didn't matter to me. But I'm not really attracted to trans men really. I am attracted to Natural born men but not normally transmen. I've never found one I was remotely attracted to after they used T. Well after she got pregnant, she has more identity complaints and has looked into further transitioning after the baby is born. For me it's just like idk if I can commit to someone I may not know or be attracted to later on. Like it's a drastic change to have to deal with. I don't know if I can really cope with it. What would you do if your partner decided to transition live full time as the opposite sex?
 
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I wouldn't even date someone who was transgender or even questioning their sexuality, let alone marry them.

I think this is a disaster waiting to happen. Sorry.

She doesn't question her sexuality... She's actually ways known what she was as far as her sexuality. I wouldn't really mind if she liked girls as long she was attracted to me I just can't really see myself with her as a man specifically.
 
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Inkachu

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You're both confused IMHO. You're only 21 flippin' years old. Your user name says "never ending problems". You've got a pregnant girl who wants to be a gay guy. You're a guy who wants to be with another guy, but you're with a girl. You're BARELY adults and you're already drowning in doubts and confusion. But you're about to get married?

My advice is DO NOT get married. Get into counseling.
 
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Avniel

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You're both confused IMHO. You're only 21 flippin' years old. Your user name says "never ending problems". You've got a pregnant girl who wants to be a gay guy. You're a guy who wants to be with another guy, but you're with a girl. You're BARELY adults and you're already drowning in doubts and confusion. But you're about to get married?

My advice is DO NOT get married. Get into counseling.

Deep deep deep counseling and deep deep deep prayer. Take a trip to Bethlehem and pray there type of prayer.
 
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Odetta

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Originally Posted by Inkachu View Post
You're both confused IMHO. You're only 21 flippin' years old. Your user name says "never ending problems". You've got a pregnant girl who wants to be a gay guy. You're a guy who wants to be with another guy, but you're with a girl. You're BARELY adults and you're already drowning in doubts and confusion. But you're about to get married?

My advice is DO NOT get married. Get into counseling.

Deep deep deep counseling and deep deep deep prayer. Take a trip to Bethlehem and pray there type of prayer.

Ditto to the above!
 
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jennimatts

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My gf and I are planing to get married very soon. But I'm skeptical because she's always identified as more on the male side of things. It worked out well because I tend to fit more on the female side of things despite her being a biofemale and me being biological male. She's said in the past she felt more like a gay man than a straight woman not a stereotype either but in the way that she's a dude that happens to like men on the inside. She's 100% female on the outside. I never minded because she had chosen to live as a female mostly. I am bisexual myself so like pronouns and style of dress didn't matter to me. But I'm not really attracted to trans men really. I am attracted to Natural born men but not normally transmen. I've never found one I was remotely attracted to after they used T. Well after she got pregnant, she has more identity complaints and has looked into further transitioning after the baby is born. For me it's just like idk if I can commit to someone I may not know or be attracted to later on. Like it's a drastic change to have to deal with. I don't know if I can really cope with it. What would you do if your partner decided to transition live full time as the opposite sex?

First, unlike many of those who posted comments above, I recognize that you are identifying as agnostic. I'm not looking to push my morals on you, but in my opinion way too many people have a casual attitude toward marriage.

Your girlfriend is pregnant, and assuming it's your child, the responsible thing would be to get married. You need to have a long conversation with her about responsibility, commitment, love, etc. Try to reach a consensus and to establish a solid basis for the future of your relationship.

I would suggest that real love will trump the issue of future attraction and provide a strength that would allow you to cope with future adversity.

As for what I would do, it certainly would be challenging, but I made a choice to love my husband no mater the circumstances.

Honestly, none of us are perfect. People seem to forget we all have things that would make relationships difficult.
 
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Messy

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My gf and I are planing to get married very soon. But I'm skeptical because she's always identified as more on the male side of things. It worked out well because I tend to fit more on the female side of things despite her being a biofemale and me being biological male. She's said in the past she felt more like a gay man than a straight woman not a stereotype either but in the way that she's a dude that happens to like men on the inside. She's 100% female on the outside. I never minded because she had chosen to live as a female mostly. I am bisexual myself so like pronouns and style of dress didn't matter to me. But I'm not really attracted to trans men really. I am attracted to Natural born men but not normally transmen. I've never found one I was remotely attracted to after they used T. Well after she got pregnant, she has more identity complaints and has looked into further transitioning after the baby is born. For me it's just like idk if I can commit to someone I may not know or be attracted to later on. Like it's a drastic change to have to deal with. I don't know if I can really cope with it. What would you do if your partner decided to transition live full time as the opposite sex?
I used to feel like that, like a gay man and my ex prayed for me and then I felt like a woman. In my case it was because I was abused as a child.
I wouldn't marry a man who wanted to become a woman before first praying for him.
 
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NamelessHero

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I don't plan on EVER getting married in the first place but...
If my GF came to me and said that she was a dude and was going to start living as one, I would probably break it off. I'm attracted to her, not a dude. It just wouldn't work out. I would still try to be "his" friend because "he's" a cool person.
But then again, my GF isn't pregnant, I don't plan on getting married, I'm pretty sure she's a girl, and I'm not exactly the pinnacle of wisdom.
Your situation is complicated so just talk it out with her and decide what to do from there.
 
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Jul 20, 2014
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You're both confused IMHO. You're only 21 flippin' years old. Your user name says "never ending problems". You've got a pregnant girl who wants to be a gay guy. You're a guy who wants to be with another guy, but you're with a girl. You're BARELY adults and you're already drowning in doubts and confusion. But you're about to get married?

My advice is DO NOT get married. Get into counseling.

We actually ended up getting married...

And I'm not gay.... I like girls. I never said I only liked men. I don't want to be with a guy. I love my wife and if she chooses to live as a man I support that. I realized I love her no matter what. So things are going well so far.
 
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