OT: A rant (long-ish).

We do have fellowship after DL, every week. It is a nice time to talk to parishioners, and to talk to father...but most of the people are well outside my age group.

Not that there is a problem with having older friends, there isn't...but sometimes it is hard for us to relate to each other. Though I enjoy hearing all their stories about growing up in Ukraine, Serbia, Yugoslavia etc.

I feel for you EC I hate to admit it but even in seminaries there is that discrimination....Hang in there! I think that conscious folks do exist that do not agree with this type of treatment! You are right we should look out for loneliness for folks who live alone and have no family... in our EO communities especially. prayers!

So sorry, E.C. We can understand what you are feeling. Thank goodness for my husband's thoughtfulness and big heart. He frequently helps military single men and women in the past back in CO and while we were in FL. We'd have them come and spend Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner with us, or just invite them over for a meal and to spend some time with them. My husband helps out the students here as well by driving them to the airport or letting them borrow his car for a weekend trip back to their parents' for a visit. I admire that.

I'm thinking we'll be doing more inviting this fall for the single students - a sweet guy we really like. The first year was chaotic and a time of acclimating, but we're more settled now.

It really is a shame that single people are ostracized. I mean, there is this tendency to think everybody has to have a boyfriend/girlfriend or be married. This culture hasn't really understood people who aren't in those types of relationships. Anyway, praying it gets better for you.

gracefullamb said:

I hate to break it to you fellows it isn't just single men it is singles period. I cannot even begin to count how many times I've been told in a Christian setting to hang out with the youth group not the adults. Yes cause me being a single adult woman means I'd only ever want to converse and be able to understand high school kids, cause apparently being married equals adult for Christians being single means you are still a child. Same with woman's groups cause I have no husband or children I have point blank been told it isn't for me, since they talk about their husbands & children, pray for them and discuss how to better administer to them. It's awesome makes me want to show up to more things, not! This is why generally my circle of friends are made up of non-Christians let alone non-Orthodox. I don't get treated like I have some bizarre disease by them for being unmarried.

Click to expand...

Good grief! That's really terrible and stupid, the attitudes or preconceived notions. When I was running the women's group back at my old parish, I became such close and good friends with a single gal in her early thirties. I could always count on her being at our little meetings. Sometimes it was just us or one other gal with us or her sister, who started to come later on. Wonderful times. Our discussions were about our spiritual lives and all kinds of things, and there was never a feeling of just talking about family, but if I did, she understood. Anyway, that's such a shame that that's been happening to you, graceful.

EC I sent you a pm, check it out

I'm sorry you're going through this E.C. It sounds really awful. I think it is just single people in general, regardless of sex, that go through these things though. It simply depends on the situation. I've been told what some single Orthodox friends of mine go through (men and women both) and it just seems like a rough deal.

The last time I ever attended a Sunday School class (was AOG at the time), it was because the teacher had called me out in front of the entire class for not being married at nineteen. He and his wife had always been friendly grandparent types to me before, but he got really ugly with me in front of a group of people for no reason. There were two single guys in the class, with the rest being young married couples. The single men got a pass, but I was told I should skip college and get straight to the marrying and having children thing. He made me cry- and only ONE person in the entire class came to my defense. In fact, the man who defended me and his wife left the church over it.

I've also gotten the run around from a few folks over the years for the fact that I don't have kids. My husband and I have good reasons for it, that I won't go into here, but my husband is never the one who gets flack over it. It's always me- and people can be very rude and insensitive about it.

So, if it isn't one thing it's another. If it isn't being persona non grata for being single, then it's sexism or being non-fill-in-the-blank ethnicity.