Can we disown family member?

superman2010 said:

Jesus says you must hate your bro/sis/ parent and family or else you are worthy to be his disciple. i'm sure the word 'hate' can mean different things.

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It's hyperbole. Jesus often, like many rabbis of His time, uses hyperbolic language to get a point across. It was a standard teaching technique, such as when Jesus says it's easier for a camel to enter through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom; Jesus is most definitely talking about the great difficulty of the rich to enter the kingdom because of their attachment to their wealth; but it's clearly hyperbolic language to get that point across. Same with Jesus saying that it's better to gouge one's eye out or cut off one's hand, it's extreme language to get the point across.

Similarly here, Jesus uses the hyperbolic language of hating self and kin in order to get across the importance of following Him must be; it would be a wholesale contradiction to teach His disciples to love their neighbors, and then give the parable of the Good Samaritan to demonstrate that everyone is our neighbor and thus we should love everyone and then say we must hate the people we are related to. So "hate" here is in the hyperbolic sense, it's over-exaggerated and extreme language to communicate a point without expecting people to take Him too literally.

-CryptoLutheran

Sebbcho said:

Well when it says you will lose many people in your life for his sake, he also says 'you will get many more mothers and brothers' or something to that effect. I believe someone decent won't be able to stand being near people who are constantly sinning and will be unable to function and will have to leave. Much how Lot was tortured in his righteous soul every day in being in Sodom and Gomorrah.

Someone born again is a priest, a priest is required to be separate from the unclean. And a Saint is clean as it is said when Christ was washing the disciples feet 'someone who is bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean'

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Perhaps that was said because there was a shortage of water.
I mean, imaging everyone washing just their feet....


.

You know- I know people who have had this done to them. Enough for it to be a thing. They were Baptist or Assemblies of God or Presbytarian or whatever- and became Orthodox. Then they lost friends and family over it. Usually being told they are going to hell is involved. I know others who weren't disowned- but still have family issues due to converting away from Baptiscostal or whatever. I saw a woman have a conniption fit in the narthex because her son was Baptized as an Orthodox Christian. My own mother did the glaring, guilt tripping and crying over not wanting me to go to hell thing for becoming Orthodox.

I think there is nothing wrong with letting people know you disagree with their choices, but I think people should continue to love their family.

No, we don't "disown" them. We pray for them.

CryptoLutheran said:

It's hyperbole. Jesus often, like many rabbis of His time, uses hyperbolic language to get a point across. So "hate" here is in the hyperbolic sense, it's over-exaggerated and extreme language to communicate a point without expecting people to take Him too literally.

-CryptoLutheran

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Uh, no, it's not hyperbole. There are very sound scriptural reasons for that hatred, even for ones sweet old self. That is usually why it's not believed, when the hatred comes to self.

Jesus was NOT joking around by exaggerating the point when He made these statements of facts:

John 12:25
He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.

Luke 21:17
And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake.

(there are numerous other scriptures that go with this particular aspect of faith.)

In the scriptures there is a whole world, and the disciples are 'divided' from the whole world. It's not a matter of slicing the whole world in half with a knife either.

For those who have followed Jesus to this point in their walk, they will know this hatred, and it's not a bowl of cherries or a bed of roses. It's a REAL hatred in REAL time. And yes, it often comes from 'within' family members and NO, not because the believer is damning them to hell either, which is an action by phony disciples.

And yes, God will show this real hatred, the reasons, the validity of it, to all and ONLY those He Himself calls in for understandings.

s

Reviving this old topic I'd like to present the flip-side as the one disowned.

I have been disowned my much of my family so I can speak on this issue from that perspective. Being a foolish and impulsive youth I repeatedly demonstrated poor judgment and caused hurt to my family with my actions. I've since lived “on the lam” and even gone to prison, the whole nine yards. Now, after The Lord finally got thru to me, and even led me to minister Bible study while in prison, I've come to see how far from Him my actions are and how very real He is. While I still struggle day-to-day as any honest person would admit to. (see Romans 7) I've come to a point in my life where I would have expected my upstanding Christian family to welcome me with open arms, or at the least give me the time of day as a brother in Christ. They (for the most part) have not, and have instead shown callous hatred and disregard for me. They go on attending and even helping to plant local churches, while not demonstrating to there own flesh and blood the least bit of compassion or forgiveness (both general requisites for salvation). At first it mostly struck me as really sad and as a continuing consequence of my poor past behavior. However I've recently began to realize that there is a very real possibility that they are in fact not saved, but have rather fallen victim to the self-reassuring, “high and mighty”, “upstanding christian”, social-club-church charade that is (sadly) so prevalent these days. I pray that I'm wrong, and that for whatever reason God simply does not will that I be accepted by my family, but at the same time it's very troubling that I can't see or sense any Godly love from them when it comes to me.

In answer to the question first posed in this thread; for anyone who would think it acceptable in the sight of God to disown anyone, I would hope that it would become clear that your heart shouldn't even hold such thoughts, as Christ has told us to feed and love our enemies. They may be sinners (as we all are), they may even be damned, but we are called to love them nonetheless.

The Word is not a suggestion that only applies when we feel someone has met our standards for love and compassion, and agrees with our points of view, it is a command, enforced by the Holy Spirit, whom will give you the power to love if He is truly in you.

If you feel hatred towards any person for ANY reason you need to stop and evaluate why you're yielding to the flesh and Satan instead of following Christ's example. You should feel upset by sin, but not feel hatred for the sinner. This is the example of Our Savoir: even though He knew Judas would betray Him, still he was welcomed along with the true disciples at the last supper.

"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.: 1 John 4:7

If you don't feel this love in your heart for those whom you disagree with or even for them who hate you, please pray that God would indwell you with His Spirit.

I am hated by some, I am called a liar and a fake by many, and still I wish they all might join me in Heaven. We don't need to agree on every point, but we must have love or we are none of His.

In closing I ask all of you who read this to please make a short prayer that my family will find the love that is Christ.

Thank you.

hisgrace26 said:

Should a Christian disown those who does not share their faith, specifically those that are part of his or her family?

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That idea is more Muslim than Christian I think.

hisgrace26 said:

What are we do to about this? I ask because I find a difficult theological issue to deal with. For example, Jesus says somewhere in the gospel that if anybody loves his or her parent and sons and daughters more than Him, than they are worthy to be His disciple. Maybe I misunderstood the passage?

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Matt 10 -- is the "take up your cross and follow me" section.

it is not about Chrtistians disowning family members -- it is about Christians suffering the pain of BEING disowned by their own family.

but that does not mean that we cannot love our families and friends more than we love Jesus and God.

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You must love God more than your family members.

The FIRST commandment is "Love God with all your heart" Deut 6:5.

The SECOND commandment is "Love your neighbor as yourself" Lev 19:18.

you cannot get that backwards --- placing your love for fellow humans above love for God -- and still keep the command given.

But ALSO you cannot fully love your family as God commands without being willing to lay down your life for them.

There is no such thing as "disown them".

in Christ,

Bob

MurphreeJ said:

Reviving this old topic I'd like to present the flip-side as the one disowned.

I have been disowned my much of my family so I can speak on this issue from that perspective. Being a foolish and impulsive youth I repeatedly demonstrated poor judgment and caused hurt to my family with my actions. I've since lived “on the lam” and even gone to prison, the whole nine yards. Now, after The Lord finally got thru to me, and even led me to minister Bible study while in prison, I've come to see how far from Him my actions are and how very real He is. While I still struggle day-to-day as any honest person would admit to. (see Romans 7) I've come to a point in my life where I would have expected my upstanding Christian family to welcome me with open arms, or at the least give me the time of day as a brother in Christ. They (for the most part) have not, and have instead shown callous hatred and disregard for me. They go on attending and even helping to plant local churches, while not demonstrating to there own flesh and blood the least bit of compassion or forgiveness (both general requisites for salvation). At first it mostly struck me as really sad and as a continuing consequence of my poor past behavior. However I've recently began to realize that there is a very real possibility that they are in fact not saved, but have rather fallen victim to the self-reassuring, “high and mighty”, “upstanding christian”, social-club-church charade that is (sadly) so prevalent these days. I pray that I'm wrong, and that for whatever reason God simply does not will that I be accepted by my family, but at the same time it's very troubling that I can't see or sense any Godly love from them when it comes to me.

In answer to the question first posed in this thread; for anyone who would think it acceptable in the sight of God to disown anyone, I would hope that it would become clear that your heart shouldn't even hold such thoughts, as Christ has told us to feed and love our enemies. They may be sinners (as we all are), they may even be damned, but we are called to love them nonetheless.

The Word is not a suggestion that only applies when we feel someone has met our standards for love and compassion, and agrees with our points of view, it is a command, enforced by the Holy Spirit, whom will give you the power to love if He is truly in you.

If you feel hatred towards any person for ANY reason you need to stop and evaluate why you're yielding to the flesh and Satan instead of following Christ's example. You should feel upset by sin, but not feel hatred for the sinner. This is the example of Our Savoir: even though He knew Judas would betray Him, still he was welcomed along with the true disciples at the last supper.

"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.: 1 John 4:7

If you don't feel this love in your heart for those whom you disagree with or even for them who hate you, please pray that God would indwell you with His Spirit.

I am hated by some, I am called a liar and a fake by many, and still I wish they all might join me in Heaven. We don't need to agree on every point, but we must have love or we are none of His.

In closing I ask all of you who read this to please make a short prayer that my family will find the love that is Christ.

Thank you.

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I can share your situation. My only sister left our family after high school and went into a seriously sinful lifestyle. I was saved a couple of years later in college and shortly after that led my brtoher to Christ. My brother married a truly self-centered lady who is very big about her profession of Christianity. Shortly after their marriage she declared holy war against my parents because they did not conform to her ideas of Christianity. In reality, they led far more consistent Christian lives than she did. Because of her I was afraid of falling into the same trap so I remained single. After my parents' passing my sister-in-law decided to declare war on me and has declared me persona non grata. The result is that I am told that they are praying for me. To what end I have never been told. Of course I appreciate any and all prayers and know that God sorts things out. I just find it bizarre that I would receive such angry and bitter treatment when I have never done anything remotely sinful in return. I have made it quite clear that they are welcome to visit me, but thus far all I get is stony silence.

In any event, I will be praying for you.

bbbbbbb,
Thank you, and for what it's worth, just make sure you keep praying for them, as they may very well need those prayers more than you even if they don't yet realize it.

In our own modern way, many of us face a similar situation that many new followers of Christ must have faced in days of old. Imagine coming from Jewish upbringings with families who were completely stuck in what had turned into man-made religion, thinking they knew God and that everyone else must be evil, even their own flesh and blood if they disagreed with anything the misguided Pharisees had taught them... I think it's sad that we who call ourselves Christians have divided into denominations that openly backbite one another. I attend an Anglican Church, but I've made it clear to anyone who asks that denominations are not of God... 1 Corinthians 1:10, and I have no problem fellowshipping with any denomination even if I disagree with some of their practices.