I don't want to be like Apostle Paul

TheyCallMeDavid said:

Paul upheld both marriage AND singleness . Despite your desire and perhaps desperation to be married....you may not have what it takes for a truly successful marriage or perhaps the person you are considering marrying doesn't . Id encourage you never to rush into it. Besides salvation, there is no great commitment in life than marrying someone legally and forever . Precious few people truly know what they are in for and few people have the abilities to navigate the stressors that marriage WILL bring . Everyone wants to be deeply loved by another human in an atmosphere of great trust, integrity, intimacy, and pleasure....but not many today are equipped for the task to come, so, id focus not on the wedding day and all the pomp that comes with it...but on the actual daily dynamics of being married and character development that is mandatory . You need to take into account the WHOLE enchilada and look beyond the pros of being married --- for there will be a lot of cons youll be faced with that will kill your zeal if you allow it to . Also, you need to understand that American culture in particular, works against harmony in a marriage for various reasons. Have you become aware of some of these reasons since you will be married in an American Culture ? Have you considered how American Culture whittles away at the foundation of marriage / places undue stress on marriages / and encourages an individual entitlement mindset which is NOT conducive to marriage ? I could go on, but, Im going to advise you to dig way deep into such things before you say 'I do' because very very few marriages are working properly today and the initial euphoria is soon forgotton within a year or so of marriage. Marriage is not for the faint hearted, weak on commitment , entitled mindset Person .... and there better be a whole lot more than love feelings for the other because not even love is enough for a successful marriage.

What books have you read on choosing a potential marriage mate ? What are you doing currently for character improvement ? How deep are you allowing Christ to change you internally thru submission and obedience to his authority ? How mature are you at problem solving, handling lots of friction, and working toward win win situations ? How well do you communicate your feelings, motives, goals, and how transparent are you regarding the darker side of your personality ?

How certain are you that you will enter into a formal pre-marital Counselling Class once you think you've found someone significant ?

How well do you think objectively about marriage in general, and your marriage in particular ?

These are some rhetorical questions im leaving you with. The best advice I can give, is prepare prepare prepare and the same for your S.O. The marriage road is a long hard one because you've got two Sinners trying to make it work .

Click to expand...

Barricade24 said:

I agree with quite a bit of what was said here.

Click to expand...

I want to do something more that I can attract a lady, but what?

Click to expand...

parsley said:

I hope all these rants on contemporary women have not led to confusion on your question.

Remember that what you see in the movies is often written by men or produced/directed by men, to increase sales and ratings. I do not know many women who want to jump into bed without establishing a relationship. Some miss the intimacy, but aren't sleeping around to get it. Deep friendship is important to women. (I am a woman, who talks with women.)

Younger women who appear to want money spent on them are often just accustomed to their parents paying for things, and don't think about what it costs. It takes a while to grasp how many hours a person needs to work to pay for something. It's not a tendency of being female, but of not having had to manage money yet. Or people (parents, friends) tell them to let the man pay.

I know of a lot of teens and twenty-somethings buying expensive games and devices but not paying their rent, or losing their jobs over texting and hangovers. Not a generalization, but actual cases. That money issue might show up.

A little tip -- if a man wants to attract women, they should resist ranting about how horrible women are. If they feel they must, they should reassess whether they need women in their lives. No favors in despising.
Either you want them or you don't.

Click to expand...