A powerful letter from the wife of a inappropriate content addict...

SaltwaterHeart

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I want to bring up something from the original article:

many do not even think there’s a problem, but it has them held captive. I have heard another woman say she would rather her husband were doing drugs; at least there are programs to get past that demon.

There are programs that help with inappropriate contentography addiction. One is inappropriate content Addicts Anonymous, and the other is Sexaholics Anonymous. At the bottom of the PAA website, it mentions that Co-Dependents Anonymous can help family members and loved ones of addicts. All three follow the twelve steps and twelve traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Also, there's XXXChurch.Com. It's a website that helps people who are addicted to inappropriate contentography, as well as those who work in the industry. I don't know which domination they fall under, but it may be of some help.

I saw a documentary on how inappropriate content is really made once, and it made my stomach turn. The adults in this film were beaten and locked in a house if they didn't "produce" for the film. All inappropriate content addict should have to watch that film--they'd probably never want to look at inappropriate content again.
I'm curious: What was the name of the documentary? I might want to try and watch it.
 
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Michie

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inappropriate content has become so deeply ingrained in our sex-saturated culture that most people are desensitised and don't believe it actually does have a negative effect on people who consume it. Being able to step outside of that apathy affords some clarity. When you look at inappropriate content and its effects from a different point of view, then you can begin to see just how problematic it is.

I can share some of how dealing with men who regularly consume inappropriate content has affected me in my search for a husband, if someone wants to hear it.
Please share.:thumbsup:
 
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Root of Jesse

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I think I explained by objections in detail already. Surely you don't expect me to go through every statistic? Most of it is 101 academic research. And let's be fair Michie, I went way beyond saying that the sources were wrong.

Also, personally, I try to verify what I post so that I can support it rather than just copy-paste stuff a website tells me to copy-paste.

EDIT: I don't disagree with the fact that there is something very wrong with inappropriate contentography, but I really do hate it when pseudoscience is brought into it. I know you think I keep harping on about it as a convenient excuse not to read what you post, but I do read it. I abhor it because it only exacerbates the reputation that Christianity already has when it comes to science.

Here's pseudo-science for you...Liberals like to say that people are wired for sex, and so we should give birth control to teens because 'they're just going to do it anyway.' So if this is true, and humans are like other animals and hard-wired for sex, why is it such a leap to understand that, if you present a sexual Disneyland, that people aren't going to let themselves go crazy with it?
 
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Root of Jesse

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You know there are a million & one research articles on inappropriate content. Most do show a negative affect. You all can look it up since you seem to be up on all the latest in inappropriate content research & what is pseudo science or not.

The thing is it has effects on some people it will not have on others which makes it hard to define. But where you all are missing the point is that this is a Christian forum & it should be discussed from that perspective. To top it all off in Catholicism masturbation & other things depicted in inappropriate content are also mortal sins. So from a Christian perspective & even more so a Catholic Christian perspective there is no defense for inappropriate content. Ever.

And it is posted to be discussed from that perspective. I don't come to OBOB so I can get the latest in secular thought. These deflections from the actual OP & the links on the page are just that. Deflections.

If you disagree then show what you disagree with from the content & show why. A lot of us are getting tired of having to defend what may be in the OP with no proof from those pointing the fingers & ignoring the original post in favor of something the RCC is against.

Exactly. Just like any vice. Some people love cake, and have to eat loads of it every day, and the more they eat, the more they want to eat. So let's lock them in a production bakery for a week or so, and say "What's the problem? I don't have a problem with eating cake? It's no big deal." Of course, the government wants to regulate your consumption of sugar, but inappropriate content is ok?

Gambling can be addictive too, so can alcohol, and so can all drugs. The fact that it doesn't 'affect' you, is anecdotal. The one component of sin that people seem to forget is that you're sinning against someone else. Objectifying people in any way, shape or form is a sin. So whether it's about plastic naked bodies, or whatever, it's a sin.
 
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Root of Jesse

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inappropriate content has become so deeply ingrained in our sex-saturated culture that most people are desensitised and don't believe it actually does have a negative effect on people who consume it. Being able to step outside of that apathy affords some clarity. When you look at inappropriate content and its effects from a different point of view, then you can begin to see just how problematic it is.

I can share some of how dealing with men who regularly consume inappropriate content has affected me in my search for a husband, if someone wants to hear it.
Just as a witness, I'd be interested. I have grandchildren who might like to know your experience.
 
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Michie

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Exactly. Just like any vice. Some people love cake, and have to eat loads of it every day, and the more they eat, the more they want to eat. So let's lock them in a production bakery for a week or so, and say "What's the problem? I don't have a problem with eating cake? It's no big deal." Of course, the government wants to regulate your consumption of sugar, but inappropriate content is ok?

Gambling can be addictive too, so can alcohol, and so can all drugs. The fact that it doesn't 'affect' you, is anecdotal. The one component of sin that people seem to forget is that you're sinning against someone else. Objectifying people in any way, shape or form is a sin. So whether it's about plastic naked bodies, or whatever, it's a sin.
Amen.
 
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MikeK

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I read the "inappropriate content is more addictive than heroin and cocaine" article, foolishly thinking that the title were something other than click bait and that the article would address, you know, the comparative addiction rates of people who dabble in inappropriate content vs coke an heroin. I figure it would cover the withdrawal process, relapse rates, relative likelihood of the addict to turn to crime or harm his family. I was disappointed. Hyperbole does nothing to help the cause if anti-inappropriate content people and in fact harms it. Many people are occasional inappropriate content users and have no apparent negative results, and when they see such ridiculous statements being made, they must conclude that we're all nutters. Apparently anti-inappropriate content crusaders have seen the way the pro-life movement shoots itself in the foot and elected to follow suit.
 
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Michie

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I read the "inappropriate content is more addictive than heroin and cocaine" article, foolishly thinking that the title were something other than click bait and that the article would address, you know, the comparative addiction rates of people who dabble in inappropriate content vs coke an heroin. I figure it would cover the withdrawal process, relapse rates, relative likelihood of the addict to turn to crime or harm his family. I was disappointed. Hyperbole does nothing to help the cause if anti-inappropriate content people and in fact harms it. Many people are occasional inappropriate content users and have no apparent negative results, and when they see such ridiculous statements being made, they must conclude that we're all nutters. Apparently anti-inappropriate content crusaders have seen the way the pro-life movement shoots itself in the foot and elected to follow suit.

From NPR:

National Review: Getting Serious On inappropriate contentography


Imagine a drug so powerful it can destroy a family simply by distorting a man's perception of his wife. Picture an addiction so lethal it has the potential to render an entire generation incapable of forming lasting marriages and so widespread that it produces more annual revenue — $97 billion worldwide in 2006 — than all of the leading technology companies combined. Consider a narcotic so insidious that it evades serious scientific study and legislative action for decades, thriving instead under the ever-expanding banner of the First Amendment.


According to an online statistics firm, an estimated 40 million people use this drug on a regular basis. It doesn't come in pill form. It can't be smoked, injected, or snorted. And yet neurological data suggest its effects on the brain are strikingly similar to those of synthetic drugs. Indeed, two authorities on the neurochemistry of addiction, Harvey Milkman and Stanley Sunderwirth, claim it is the ability of this drug to influence all three pleasure systems in the brain — arousal, satiation, and fantasy — that makes it "the piece de resistance among the addictions."

Earlier this month, the Witherspoon Institute released a report examining "the social costs of inappropriate contentography," signed by more than 50 scholars representing a wide array of professions, academic disciplines, and political views. The report details the considerable social costs that inappropriate contentography exacts upon men, women, and children.

The findings of the report hit particularly close to home for me. By his own account, my husband of 13 years and high-school sweetheart, was first exposed to inappropriate contentography around age ten. He viewed it regularly during high school and college — and, although he tried hard to stop, continued to do so throughout the course of our marriage. For the past few years he had taken to sleeping in the basement, distancing himself from me, emotionally and physically. Recently he began to reject my sexual advances outright, claiming he just didn't "feel love" for me like he used to, and lamenting that he thought of me "more as the mother of our children" than as a sexual partner.

Then one morning around 2AM he called, intoxicated, from his office to announce that he had "developed feelings" for someone new. The woman he became involved with was an unemployed alcoholic with all the physical qualities of a inappropriate content star — bleached blond hair, heavy makeup, provocative clothing, and large breasts. After the revelation, my husband tried to break off his relationship with this woman. But his remorse was short-lived. Within a few months he had moved permanently out of the home he shared with me and our five young children. In retrospect, I believe he succumbed to the allure of the secret fantasy life he had been indulging since his adolescence.

My husband is not alone. According to Dr. Victor Cline, a nationally renowned clinical psychologist who specializes in sexual addiction, inappropriate contentography addiction is a process that undergoes four phases. First, addiction, resulting from early and repeated exposure accompanied by masturbation. Second, escalation, during which the addict requires more frequent inappropriate content exposure to achieve the same "highs" and may learn to prefer inappropriate content to sexual intercourse. Third, desensitization, during which the addict views as normal what was once considered repulsive or immoral. And finally, the acting-out phase, during which the addict runs an increased risk of making the leap from screen to real life.

This behavior may manifest itself in the form of promiscuity, voyeurism, exhibitionism, group sex, rape, sadomasochism, or even child molestation. The final phase may also be characterized by one or more extramarital affairs. A 2004 study published in Social Science Quarterly found that Internet users who had had an extramarital affair were 3.18 times more likely to have used online inappropriate content than Internet users who had not had an affair. Among other things, the Witherspoon report is a stern warning to all married women to take seriously the signs of a sexual addiction, before it is too late.

Perhaps the greatest hardship for women who fear they have lost (or are losing) a husband to Internet inappropriate content is the absence of a public consensus about the harmful effects of inappropriate contentography on marriage. Consider what we know. In a study published in Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity, Schneider found that among the 68 percent of couples in which one person was addicted to Internet inappropriate content, one or both had lost interest in sex.

Results of the same study, published in 2000, indicated that inappropriate content use was a major contributing factor to increased risk of separation and divorce. This finding is substantiated by results of a 2002 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, during which surveyed lawyers claimed that "an obsessive interest in Internet inappropriate contentography" was a significant factor in 56 percent of their divorce cases the prior year.


inappropriate content use creates the impression that aberrant sexual practices are more common than they really are, and that promiscuous behavior is normal. For example, in a 2000 meta-analysis of 46 published studies put out by the National Foundation for Family Research and Education at the University of Calgary, regular exposure to inappropriate contentography increased risk of sexual deviancy (including lower age of first intercourse and excessive masturbation), increased belief in the "rape myth" (that women cause rape and rapists are normal), and was associated with negative attitudes regarding intimate relationships (e.g., rejecting the need for courtship and viewing persons as sexual objects). Indeed, neurological imaging confirms the latter finding. Susan Fiske, professor of psychology at Princeton University, used MRI scans to analyze the brain activity of men viewing inappropriate contentography. She found that after viewing inappropriate content, men looked at women more as objects than as human beings.

The social implications of these data are significant, but we need to know more. The American Psychiatric Association is likely to add inappropriate contentography addiction to their Diagnostic and Statistical Manual this year. Congress should fund a long-term, multidisciplinary analysis of the effects of inappropriate content addiction on marriage and family life. The National Institutes of Health are granted billions of taxpayer dollars for research on a wide variety of public-health problems, and yet inappropriate contentography addiction is not among them. Most health-insurance companies provide little to no coverage for treatment of this problem, and the health-care legislation signed into law last week promises more of the same. The fact is that the moral and financial needs of couples struggling with this form of addiction will remain unaddressed in a country that views inappropriate contentography use as a constitutional right.

I will never know with full certainty that inappropriate contentography caused my husband to abandon me and our children. Although I loved him deeply, I was far from a perfect wife. In retrospect, I wish I had understood what he was experiencing and had acted to help him.

If anything is clear to me, it is this: We must learn more about this scourge and its effects on families. The Witherspoon report makes it clear that countless women — and increasingly many men — have experienced the devastating effects of their spouse's inappropriate contentography use. Countless more will experience it in the future. It is our obligation as a nation to pursue the truth for their sake, no matter how inconvenient for some the verdict may be.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/s...ryId=125382361
 
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Root of Jesse

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I read the "inappropriate content is more addictive than heroin and cocaine" article, foolishly thinking that the title were something other than click bait and that the article would address, you know, the comparative addiction rates of people who dabble in inappropriate content vs coke an heroin. I figure it would cover the withdrawal process, relapse rates, relative likelihood of the addict to turn to crime or harm his family. I was disappointed. Hyperbole does nothing to help the cause if anti-inappropriate content people and in fact harms it. Many people are occasional inappropriate content users and have no apparent negative results, and when they see such ridiculous statements being made, they must conclude that we're all nutters. Apparently anti-inappropriate content crusaders have seen the way the pro-life movement shoots itself in the foot and elected to follow suit.
Ok, then. Carry on. Go enjoy yourself...if you can't understand what the article is getting at, who's fault is that? It's sorta like people who watch the beginning of Patton (when it came out) and couldn't get past his speech habits...
 
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MikeK

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Ok, then. Carry on. Go enjoy yourself...if you can't understand what the article is getting at, who's fault is that? It's sorta like people who watch the beginning of Patton (when it came out) and couldn't get past his speech habits...

Huh? Was I expecting too much of that piece, given its title?

Michie, the wall of text you copied and pasted didn't address a single thing I mentioned.

We should be opposed to inappropriate contentography. We shouldn't resort to cheap scare tactics and bad arguments, that doesn't strengthen our cause.
 
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Michie

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Huh? Was I expecting too much of that piece, given its title?

Michie, the wall of text you copied and pasted didn't address a single thing I mentioned.

We should be opposed to inappropriate contentography. We shouldn't resort to cheap scare tactics and bad arguments, that doesn't strengthen our cause.
You do not like the NPR article as well? You do realize this is all still being studied right?

Let me post the infamous article you an Antigone are focusing on to the exclusion of all else in this thread & we can go from there.

inappropriate content Is More Addictive Than Cocaine or Heroin!


Most people would never experiment with crack or heroin. But, there is something worse out there - inappropriate contentography. I have written frequently about the dangers of inappropriate contentography and one of our posts that receives the most views is because of people searching the internet for the phrase "what is wrong with inappropriate content?" and coming across our post with the same name.

We have known for years that inappropriate content is destructive to marriages, families, individuals, and society. We also know that is is addictive - more so than crack or heroin. Science is just now finding out just how destructive it is to the brain. Using inappropriate contentography radically changes the neuro-pathways in the brain by causing the body to inject strong neuro-stimulants directly into the pleasure center of the brain. Repeatedly doing this means the structure of the brain itself is altered and the effects are devastating. As one psychologist puts it, "inappropriate contentography hijacks the proper functioning of their (men in particular) brains." More:
Viewing inappropriate contentography is not an emotionally or physiologically neutral experience. It is fundamentally different from looking at black and white photos of the Lincoln Memorial or taking in a color map of the provinces of Canada. Men are reflexively drawn to the content of inappropriate contentographic material. As such, inappropriate contentography has wide-reaching effects to energize a man toward intimacy. It is not a neutral stimulus. It draws us in. inappropriate content is vicarious and voyeuristic at its core, but it is also something more. inappropriate content is a whispered promise. It promises more sex, better sex, endless sex, sex on demand, more intense [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], experiences of transcendence.

inappropriate contentography "acts as a polydrug," Struthers explains. As Dr. Patrick Carnes asserts, inappropriate contentography is "a pathological relationship with a mood-altering experience." Boredom and curiosity lead many boys and men into experiences that become more like drug addiction than is often admitted.

Why men rather than women? As Struthers explains, the male and female brains are wired differently. "A man's brain is a sexual mosaic influenced by hormone levels in the womb and in puberty and molded by his psychological experience." Over time, exposure to inappropriate contentography takes a man or boy deeper along "a one-way neurological superhighway where a man's mental life is over-sexualized and narrowed. This superhighway has countless on-ramps but very few off-ramps.

inappropriate contentography is "visually magnetic" to the male brain. Struthers presents a fascinating review of the neurobiology involved, with pleasure hormones becoming linked to and released by the experience of a male viewing inappropriate contentographic images. These experiences with inappropriate contentography and pleasure hormones create new patterns in the brain's wiring, and repeated experiences formalize the rewiring.

And then, enough is never enough. "If I take the same dose of a drug over and over and my body begins to tolerate it, I will need to take a higher dose of the drug in order for it to have the same effect that it did with a lower dose the first time," Struthers reminds us. So, the experience of viewing inappropriate contentography and acting out on it creates a demand in the brain for more and more, just to achieve the same level of pleasure in the brain.

While men are stimulated by the ambient sexual images around them, explicit inappropriate contentography increases the effect. Struthers compares this to the difference between traditional television and the new high definition technologies. Everything is more clear, more explicit, and more stimulating.

Struthers explains this with compelling force:
Something about inappropriate contentography pulls and pushes at the male soul. The pull is easy to identify. The naked female form can be hypnotizing. A woman's willingness to participate in a sexual act or expose her nakedness is alluring to men. The awareness of one's own sexuality, the longing to know, to experience something as good wells up from deep within. An image begins to pick up steam the longer we look upon it. It gains momentum and can reach a point where it feels like a tractor-trailer rolling downhill with no brakes.
So, what can we do about it?

There are a few options. If you think you are an addict, then you need to see a mental health professional who specializes in addictions. Don't wait and think you can kick it on your own. The Austin Diocese can help you find a counselor with expertise in this area.

If you are not an addict, but you are having trouble stopping, then I recommend you try our accountability group at St. Mary's (if you are a male college student) or asking for help from a pastoral team member, but don't be surprised if you are referred to someone else who is able to help you. For other recommendations on behaviors that can help, see this previous post.
 
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Michie

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And from the commentary:

Could you please provide a reference to a scientific journal for the claim that inappropriate contentography is more addictive than heroin? I don't think anyone would dispute the addictive nature of inappropriate contentography but heroin is nearly immediately addictive and has unbelievably strong withdrawal symptoms, whereas clearly not everyone who has ever viewed inappropriate contentography is addicted to it.

Is inappropriate contentography a brain addiction? | Forward Press Publishing | Donald L. Hilton Jr. MD | inappropriate content Addiction

http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2004/11/65772

It's addictive as cocaine and just as damaging: So is YOUR husband hooked on internet inappropriate content? | Mail Online

http://mentalhealthlibrary.info/lib...s/victorcline/inappropriate contenteffect.htm
 
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Nani-Day

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I've been addicted to inappropriate content since I was 13, and it's eating me alive. Nothing I think of can sexually satisfy me anymore. Im always looking for the next level of intense pleasure. Only watching inappropriate content calms me down. Everything else has gradually grown more and more boring. I've been playing with idea of uploading my own videos lately. I dont actually want to, but occasionally the idea gets me excited. I'm pathetic for giving in so easily and i pray everyday for help, but I know inappropriate content is what helped me to become such a perverted monster.
 
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Michie

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I've been addicted to inappropriate content since I was 13, and it's eating me alive. Nothing I think of can sexually satisfy me anymore. Im always looking for the next level of intense pleasure. Only watching inappropriate content calms me down. Everything else has gradually grown more and more boring. I've been playing with idea of uploading my own videos lately. I dont actually want to, but occasionally the idea gets me excited. I'm pathetic for giving in so easily and i pray everyday for help, but I know inappropriate content is what helped me to become such a perverted monster.
Women deal with it as well. Maybe you can seek out professional help? Prayers for you Jaded.:crossrc:
 
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Rhamiel

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I've been addicted to inappropriate content since I was 13, and it's eating me alive. Nothing I think of can sexually satisfy me anymore. Im always looking for the next level of intense pleasure. Only watching inappropriate content calms me down. Everything else has gradually grown more and more boring. I've been playing with idea of uploading my own videos lately. I dont actually want to, but occasionally the idea gets me excited. I'm pathetic for giving in so easily and i pray everyday for help, but I know inappropriate content is what helped me to become such a perverted monster.

you are not a monster
you are a sinner like the rest of us, who hopes on the Mercy of Christ

you are a human being made in the image and likeness of God

you are a hostage who Christ paid a great price for to save from slavery to death and sin

I am so sorry that you are going through this :(

thank you for being so brave and speaking so candidly
 
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Michie

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you are not a monster
you are a sinner like the rest of us, who hopes on the Mercy of Christ

you are a human being made in the image and likeness of God

you are a hostage who Christ paid a great price for to save from slavery to death and sin

I am so sorry that you are going through this :(

thank you for being so brave and speaking so candidly
Amen.

inappropriate content brings a shame to those who use it though. Another reason it is unhealthy.
 
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