Will be getting ECT and want to know your experience

Not only did the person have some memory loss but they were more subdued. It's hard to describe because you had to know the person. They were always between medium/loud but after the ECT, they were quiet in a way that just wasn't their previous personality.

Also if I'm remembering correctly from Ab/Dev Behavior Psyche class in college, people didn't just have ECT one time. It was something that was administered multiple times.

Sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time. I've been there when the drugs you were taking stop working for whatever reason. ECT now is nothing like it used to be. Most importantly, you are completely anesthetized while the shock is delivered.

My experience with ECT.

Well, since you're going under anesthesia you can't eat or drink after midnight the day before. They'll put you on a gurney, and put in an I.V. for the anesthesia. Sometimes they'll give you a drug like Toredal (which I think is just ibruprofen). They also might give you something to dry you up so you won't wheeze and gargle a you're coming out of anesthesia.

The first thing they did was give me paper work to fill out. Depression and drug inventories mostly. Then they took me into a back room, put an IV in, put in the preparatory drugs. In my case it included Imitrex because I always got a migraine after the treatments. Then they would wheel me into the treatment room, put the contact pads on, and had me breathe in pure oxygen. After they do all the checks, like making sure who you are and what they are about to do, they'll administer the anesthesia through the IV. That hurts, or at least it hurt me. Feels like liquid fire running up your vein for those few seconds before you fall unconscious.

The first treatment is longest and the most painful because they are titrating the level of shock needed to induce the seizure. So, they start at a really tiny amount and gradually increase it until they get a seizure. I suffer from migraines and after every treatment I had a migraine. They started giving me Imitrex before hand to try to limit it, but really all I could do after a treatment was curl up in a dark room and try to sleep.

I did experience memory loss, particularly in the interval around the treatment. I used to have a near photographic memory and now I don't. But it's getting better; my last treatment was only couple weeks ago.

But I wouldn't trade it. Not having suicidal thoughts is really kinda cool, for the first time in decades.

As far as personality changes, I don't see it in myself. Some things are a lot easier than they used to be and so sometimes I act differently. I don't know about your condition, but mine was always full of millions of racing and often contradictory thoughts. My mind is quieter now, and it's easier to be really present with people if that makes sense.

I'm still me, and I'm still depressed, but I have hope now when I didn't before. I have the will to do the work I need to get to a decent place.

Just like any other major medical thing, make sure the quality of the doctors and facilities. And stick with it. I had had many treatments before I started seeing positive effects.

Anyway, best of luck. And to be honest, except the migraines which I hope you don't suffer from, the pain is really trivial after the first one. I understand about being scared. It is scary. Even when you have a truthful understanding about what happens it's scary. I mean who wants to be so utterly vulnerable and dependent that someone has to breathe for you? I was nervous the first couple of times, but there after it was old hat. I even have the blood pressure records to prove it.

MY ECT was an inpatient series of treatments about 15-20 years ago. I was in for two weeks. It was a locked ward with the usual psych ward restrictions. I do have memory loss over that period of time which is normal, and for a few days after. I have some memories just not complete memories. I had no issues with the treatment itself, no pain, no issues with anesthesia etc. All went well and as expected. There was also some general group therapy during this time.

I am a medical professional and did my own research into efficacy and side effects and felt it was the right choice for me based on the literature at the time. At that time I was diagnosed with depression and was off work as it was so severe despite multiple antidepressants, etc. (I was later diagnosed with BP 2 but rarely have the hypomania symptoms)

Since the treatment I have had some difficulty with word finding and memory issues. It had a minor effect for me and allowed my antidepressants to have some improvement in efficacy but was not the complete answer for me. I still feel it was the right choice for me despite the side effects. Over the course of time with an accurate diagnosis and the right meds I was able to return to work as a medical professional even with the minor memory issues I was left with. Do I wish my memory was what it used to be? Sure, but how much I have left is due to years of medications and illness versus ECT would be hard to say at this time. The important thing for me is it did not interfere with my ability to work, though my illness eventually did interfere again and I am off work once again.

Hope my experience is helpful for you as some people do have dramatic improvement with this treatment, just not all of us.

Prayers for you!!!!!