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Could this confession/prayer stem from OCD?

Lik3

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Today I behaved badly. My words were not godly and my thoughts were even less godly. I am sorry for behaving so badly. I was late for my appointment and that is what started it all as well as a family of people filling up the bus. I felt horrible at the reaction of the people on the bus. It all stems from caring what other people think of me. I am deeply ashamed of my reaction and how I felt about them. I found myself to be close-minded and bigoted.

My thoughts were those of rudeness and pure hatred for them for no good reason whatsoever. I felt like a total hypocrite because I behaved like a hypocrite. I didn't feel joyous or happy. My prejudice made me miserable. God, forgive me and help me overcome this prejudice that I have. What is so wrong with me that I have rude thoughts about people who didn't judge me, or anything like that? They were just like every other passenger, they were minding their business. I still feel somewhat icky. Looking at someone's character is of the utmost importance, not their outside. I am sorry, Father, and I wish I could take back those thoughts.

I usually don't go out of my way to hate on people who were different from me. I didn't want to be around someone who is not like me. I usually believe that we are all equal but we are all different and that differences are not a bad thing to be afraid of. I found myself with continuous terrible thoughts of hatred and dislike and mistrust. I didn't and usually don't want to sit around someone who is different from me, much less someone who is like me. I like to have my own space and I tend to feel uncomfortable around other people period. But today, it dawned on me that there is something wrong with me. Why do I feel this way? Why did I have these thoughts? Am I really that bigoted and close-minded? Why do I seem so obsessed with this issue?
 

emilie mayer

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Well the good news is your forgiven. The moment you accepted Christ. I know how your feeling. I also have had hateful,prejudice thoughts. I think we feel badly when we act like that because we feel we let God down when we behave that way. We need to realize God knows us better than we know us. He knows every hair on our heads. We need to pray that He helps us to learn to love others the way He does. We need to trust that He is working with us when we stumble. Praying for you
 
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com7fy8

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Trust our Father as your Judge of this.

And if you get to where you find yourself to be forgiven and have peace, now have compassion for others who have problems, and forgive others.

"He can have compassion on those who are ignorant and going astray, since he himself is also subject to weakness." (Hebrews 5:2)
 
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jesuslover94

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It sounds like something similar I go through. It used to be so much worse, but it's like I think bad thoughts about people. I hate doing it, but it just happens. For example, I'm not rascist, but I get thoughts that make me feel like I'm rascist though. It really stinks. I get thoughts calling people ugly/fat, stuff like that. I hate it, but it's not like it used to be. Not really advice, just wanted you to know.
 
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gracealone

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So.. you were late and that triggered a bad mood, and then the family that was taking up time filling the bus made you feel even more irritated because you were late... and then, boom, your OCD took this as an opportune moment to send you a bunch of those unwanted and intrusive racist/bigoted thoughts which totally disgust and terrify you. Then it made you feel, because you were in a bad mood about being late that you really wanted to think those things.. that they were coming from inside you, a part of your true character. This then made you feel condemned and contaminated in side and then you had to fix it by confessing and beating yourself up about it.. probably over and over. Is this anywhere near to what you experienced?
OCD will take every opportunity it gets to cause us to have those ugly spikes and to try and convince us that it's really us, wanting to be bad and wanting to act and think evil things. If we have Religious OCD and we have an angry moment then our OCD can send a bunch of evil and blasphemous thoughts into our brain and use a normal episode of anger or irritation to make us feel like we hate God etc. It's an opportunistic disorder. I think that maybe your OCD just took your irritation and anger over being late and attached the intrusive thoughts to the situation. Just my take on what may have happened here. Anyhow, IF you think that this may have been what happened then you have to let go of the need to confess the intrusive thoughts and label them as symptoms of your OCD. Ignore them, don't attend to them and they, eventually won't seem so utterly urgent and distressing to you. Praying, Mitzi

Today I behaved badly. My words were not godly and my thoughts were even less godly. I am sorry for behaving so badly. I was late for my appointment and that is what started it all as well as a family of people filling up the bus. I felt horrible at the reaction of the people on the bus. It all stems from caring what other people think of me. I am deeply ashamed of my reaction and how I felt about them. I found myself to be close-minded and bigoted.

My thoughts were those of rudeness and pure hatred for them for no good reason whatsoever. I felt like a total hypocrite because I behaved like a hypocrite. I didn't feel joyous or happy. My prejudice made me miserable. God, forgive me and help me overcome this prejudice that I have. What is so wrong with me that I have rude thoughts about people who didn't judge me, or anything like that? They were just like every other passenger, they were minding their business. I still feel somewhat icky. Looking at someone's character is of the utmost importance, not their outside. I am sorry, Father, and I wish I could take back those thoughts.

I usually don't go out of my way to hate on people who were different from me. I didn't want to be around someone who is not like me. I usually believe that we are all equal but we are all different and that differences are not a bad thing to be afraid of. I found myself with continuous terrible thoughts of hatred and dislike and mistrust. I didn't and usually don't want to sit around someone who is different from me, much less someone who is like me. I like to have my own space and I tend to feel uncomfortable around other people period. But today, it dawned on me that there is something wrong with me. Why do I feel this way? Why did I have these thoughts? Am I really that bigoted and close-minded? Why do I seem so obsessed with this issue?
 
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Lik3

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So.. you were late and that triggered a bad mood, and then the family that was taking up time filling the bus made you feel even more irritated because you were late... and then, boom, your OCD took this as an opportune moment to send you a bunch of those unwanted and intrusive racist/bigoted thoughts which totally disgust and terrify you. Then it made you feel, because you were in a bad mood about being late that you really wanted to think those things.. that they were coming from inside you, a part of your true character. This then made you feel condemned and contaminated in side and then you had to fix it by confessing and beating yourself up about it.. probably over and over. Is this anywhere near to what you experienced?
OCD will take every opportunity it gets to cause us to have those ugly spikes and to try and convince us that it's really us, wanting to be bad and wanting to act and think evil things. If we have Religious OCD and we have an angry moment then our OCD can send a bunch of evil and blasphemous thoughts into our brain and use a normal episode of anger or irritation to make us feel like we hate God etc. It's an opportunistic disorder. I think that maybe your OCD just took your irritation and anger over being late and attached the intrusive thoughts to the situation. Just my take on what may have happened here. Anyhow, IF you think that this may have been what happened then you have to let go of the need to confess the intrusive thoughts and label them as symptoms of your OCD. Ignore them, don't attend to them and they, eventually won't seem so utterly urgent and distressing to you. Praying, Mitzi

That is exactly what I experienced. It was very weird it seems. Being late wouldn't make me the least bit worried if I had no reason to be worried about. All I to do was just call if I were going to be late. I am glad that it is just the OCD and not me. Sometimes it is just a way of wondering if I should get more help or if it is the enemy attacking me, or both.
 
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gracealone

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When ever there is intense anxiety attached to these scenarios and when you find yourself really craving the kind of certainty which you think will make you feel less anxious it's best to label it OCD and treat it accordingly.
Sorry you are struggling. Mitzi

That is exactly what I experienced. It was very weird it seems. Being late wouldn't make me the least bit worried if I had no reason to be worried about. All I to do was just call if I were going to be late. I am glad that it is just the OCD and not me. Sometimes it is just a way of wondering if I should get more help or if it is the enemy attacking me, or both.
 
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