has anyone else doubted

Oh yeah... lots of times. That's a pretty common thing to have crop up in the midst of this. And.. sadly some are so afraid that this might be true that they will actually avoid getting help because: "what if the therapist says that the doubt is real and not due to OCD?"
Here's the problem though with me "reassuring" you about this. It won't make you feel better. It might provide a temporary feeling of reassurance but in the end it only makes the whole root theme seem to be valid and worthy of attention.
Anyhow... OCD wise, you seem abnormally, normal.
Mitzi

1ofGodsChildren said:

That you even have OCD and scared its just you? I do just wondering if I'm the only one.

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gracealone said:

Oh yeah... lots of times. That's a pretty common thing to have crop up in the midst of this. And.. sadly some are so afraid that this might be true that they will actually avoid getting help because: "what if the therapist says that the doubt is real and not due to OCD?"
Here's the problem though with me "reassuring" you about this. It won't make you feel better. It might provide a temporary feeling of reassurance but in the end it only makes the whole root theme seem to be valid and worthy of attention.
Anyhow... OCD wise, you seem abnormally, normal.
Mitzi

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Totally agree Mitzi, its like throwing oil on the fire. the end goal of course is to get to the point where you dont need to ignore your OCD and you wont need to argue with it, to just let it be there. Its what you taught me and im working towards that Goal.

We are always working on this goal on and off throughout living with OCD. Sometimes we go for a long period of time and do really good. But then stress or something else triggers us and the next thing we know we are back on the hamster wheel with some other theme or even one we'd thought we'd gotten over. I'm just thankful for the periods when I'm able to really just "let it be" and not be at all freaked out about it. But I'm also thankful when I recognize that I'm obsessing before I get too far down that miserable trail. Once I realize what I'm doing I am usually able to nip it in the bud before it gets the best of me.
Still... being ambivalent about our OCD in regard to whether or not we might get really "sick" again is the best attitude: "Yeah... I might go through another bad bout, but then again I might not.... whatever the case might be, I'll just cross that bridge when or if I get to it. I hate it when my OCD theme is about my OCD... "I hope I don't get really sick again!! What if I do? I'm having a bad day. Does this mean I'm headed for another bad flare?" Stupid OCD!
Hope you are doing well my friend. God Bless! Mitzi

Christian-Catholic said:

Totally agree Mitzi, its like throwing oil on the fire. the end goal of course is to get to the point where you dont need to ignore your OCD and you wont need to argue with it, to just let it be there. Its what you taught me and im working towards that Goal.

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gracealone said:

Still... being ambivalent about our OCD in regard to whether or not we might get really "sick" again is the best attitude: "Yeah... I might go through another bad bout, but then again I might not.... whatever the case might be, I'll just cross that bridge when or if I get to it. I hate it when my OCD theme is about my OCD... "I hope I don't get really sick again!! What if I do? I'm having a bad day. Does this mean I'm headed for another bad flare?" Stupid OCD!
Hope you are doing well my friend. God Bless! Mitzi

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Im doing much better then when I first came into the forum Mitzi. Your advice was the catalyst that got me to look at my OCD for what it is and to be ok with it
God bless you my friend and thank you so much again for the tireless work you do on here.

1ofGodsChildren said:

I've avoided getting help for 7 years thinking it was just me. I can't tell you how physically and emotionally exhausted I am. I have just now gotten a Christian therapist who knows exactly what I'm going through. Now I have to wait a month to see a psychiatrist.

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I know what its like my friend, but its great now that you have gotten a Christian therapist that understands what your going through, it will really help you as you will feel more comfortable to open up to him/her about this.

And yes it can feel at times like you dont have anything left in the gastank, but you made it this far my friend, and that takes real courage and grace, both gifts from our lord.

Keep us updated on how it goes ok?
Your in my prayers
I have a feeling your best days are still to come

I know what that's like too. The idea of opening up and revealing all those horrid thoughts and images to anyone was terrifying to me. And yes, it is so exhausting, actually debilitating when it's been bad for a very long time. It robbed me of being able to eat, sleep and of just being able to feel normal for any length of time. The mental war is excruciating.
So glad you are going to be getting some professional help for this. I will be praying for you.
Also... what you've been through, are still going through, the heartbreaking losses in your life.. that hits home with me in a very personal way as our son is right now going through the exact same thing. He was a Pastor too. He has two small children to care for on his own now. He also has OCD... so I just want you to know that you have my heartfelt empathy and fervent prayers. God has a plan for you. It's so hard to understand the "whys" of what we go through, but the focus that strengthens us throughout it is "who" is over and above it all. Warmly, Mitzi

1ofGodsChildren said:

I've avoided getting help for 7 years thinking it was just me. I can't tell you how physically and emotionally exhausted I am. I have just now gotten a Christian therapist who knows exactly what I'm going through. Now I have to wait a month to see a psychiatrist.

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It happens to me a lot to doubt sometimes things look like nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna get better...But hope is in God, and I'll cling to it. I wish deep from my heart that He'll save me. Satan is doing all in his power to make me belive that I'm totally lost, but I stay strong !

Has anyone else ever doubted that you've received Christ as Savior even though you've done all you know to do regarding that. That is my obsession. It's horrible!!!!Please someone reply if you can, Thanks!

1ofGodsChildren said:

That you even have OCD and scared its just you? I do just wondering if I'm the only one.

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How can you separate your identity from the OCD. It is part of who you are after all. Doubting you have OCD is like doubting you have blue eyes.