Hello everyone and God bless. I just ask you to take a look at my thread and pray for me or offer me some support and encouragement. I REALLY am struggling. I am so scared. It almost feels like I am bleeding on the inside.
So the thing is, I have this very strong fear of death and sickness. I am not scared of myself getting sick or dead, but my loved ones (or should I say one - my best friend and ministry partner). It is so intense and so powerful. I can't take it anymore. I am so scared that she will get cancer or some other terrible disease and then die. I am scared to the point that when something minor happens, like a pimple or a minor headache or stomachache I am all like, goodness, I'm so scared, what if you die. I know where this came from - my other best friend has/had cancer, my mom had it, and I am used to being scared that the people I hold close to my heart will die. Also, I can't help but think of all the innocent people, even God-loving Christians who die of these terrible sicknesses every day, and I find myself so intensely scared and just plan unable to trust God that all will be ok. I know the Bible tells me not to be scared but trust God and that His plans are good and so is His will but then again I can't help but doubt - there are so many Christians suffering and dying in agony. I just feel so scared and so insecure.
Please, please take this seriously. Please help me. Someone, anyone.
So the thing is, I have this very strong fear of death and sickness. I am not scared of myself getting sick or dead, but my loved ones (or should I say one - my best friend and ministry partner). It is so intense and so powerful. I can't take it anymore. I am so scared that she will get cancer or some other terrible disease and then die. I am scared to the point that when something minor happens, like a pimple or a minor headache or stomachache I am all like, goodness, I'm so scared, what if you die. I know where this came from - my other best friend has/had cancer, my mom had it, and I am used to being scared that the people I hold close to my heart will die. Also, I can't help but think of all the innocent people, even God-loving Christians who die of these terrible sicknesses every day, and I find myself so intensely scared and just plan unable to trust God that all will be ok. I know the Bible tells me not to be scared but trust God and that His plans are good and so is His will but then again I can't help but doubt - there are so many Christians suffering and dying in agony. I just feel so scared and so insecure.
Please, please take this seriously. Please help me. Someone, anyone.
