HELP! Sex during engagement!

Wearecommandedtojudge said:

Then I guess incest is ok unless it's with your stepmother since Jesus never talked about it in the New Testament and Paul commanded the Church at Corinth to kick out a member who was having physical relations with his step mother...but that is the only time incest is mentioned in the New Testament. So bio mom, sister, aunt, and so on is ok? Well not if your a girl I suppose since homosexuality is forbidden in the NT several times.

inappropriate behavior with animals is never mentioned in the NT though and neither is necrophilia. Are those fair game?

Jesus is God!(Isaiah 9:6, John Chapter 1, John 10:30) He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)

What dose Jesus have to say about "We don't take our instruction from the OT, but in the NT" in the Sermon on the Mount!


Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 5:17-19)

I haven't been outside for about 45 minutes to an hour. Is Earth still around or did it blow up? Can you go outside and check for me, I want to take a nap and am to lazy to check for myself.




As far as the OP...I am truly glad those two people are repentant and are trying to stop!!! I am extremely glad they are not trying to justify it or make excuses for it.

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Excellent post!

[FONT=&quot]First let me say this; If you and your fiancé have believed in Christ for eternal salvation (eternal life); that is, you simply believed Jesus is the Son of God (The Christ—Messiah - John 20:30-31), always remember, you can never lose the eternal life God has already given you (John 10:28-29). Also remember, being saved eternally from the lake of fire doesn’t mean you will automatically stop sinning, we are all stuck with our old sin nature until we die physically to go home to be with our Lord.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The point is, it will take a while to get sinning under control in your life, remember, nobody will ever be totally sinless. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]However, God gave us a promise for all our post salvation sins, including sex before marriage (Rom 1:29), which is found in 1 John 1:9, which says: "If we confess our sins (post salvation sins), He (God) is faithful and just to forgive us our sins (known sins) and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness [unknown or forgotten sins]." NKJV. At your point of faith in Christ, all your past sins were 100% forgiven. However, whenever we commit a post salvation sin we lose our fellowship with God (not our salvation), confession of our post salvation sins always restores us back into fellowship with God. However, 1 John 1:9 is not a license to sin. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]With that said, the most important thing you and your fiancé can do is, if you have not already started to do so, is to begin growing spiritually. This is taught in Romans 12:2 which says: Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect. GNB. Transforming your mind is learning and applying Gods Word to your life which can take years and lots of effort saying no to the temptations you will always be faced with. You will find that the more you grow spiritually, the less you will succumb to temptation and/or want to sin.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Right now, if you can’t control it until you are married in June, you’re both in kind of a catch-22 situation because both sexual activity before marriage (fornication) and guilt (mental attitude sin) are sins; my suggestion while you are still dating before you get married, when you meet on a date, both of you could pray together (in like manner to praying of food at the dinner table) that God will help you to not succumb to any temptation of a sexual nature. Do this on every date till the wedding date. If you fail on a date, use the promise of 1 John 1:9 and keep moving forward in your spiritual growth.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I post a Church service with a sermon and weekly bible study right here in this group. It’s a place to begin growing spiritually by supplementing what you learn from your local church. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]By His Grace,[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Mark [/FONT]

I'm in exactly the same situation as the original poster... I'm the guy who was addicted to inappropriate content, and we've both been promiscuous. Now we both believe and are saved, and we want to be married, but if I marry her, (and she doesn't make that much) but I will lose all my Medicaid benefits for all my doctor apt treatments and meds and procedures.. (I'm disabled and have mental disorder, diabetes, and kidney problems). We can't afford Obamacare with my expenses, we're stuck. It could be worse, original poster. I don't want to hijack the thread, just if someone could pray for us that would be great.

Christownsme said:

but if I marry her, (and she doesn't make that much) but I will lose all my Medicaid benefits for all my doctor apt treatments and meds and procedures.. (I'm disabled and have mental disorder, diabetes, and kidney problems).

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You can have a Pastor marry you, sign the back of your Bibles, make a private contract(a marriage covenant), and have a nice wedding. You don't have to get "legally married" by applying for a marriage license.

How did people get married before the US Government granted marriage licenses?

This isn't the route I would usually recommend for someone but I think it might be something you should consider considering your situation Chris.

Ticket2Heaven said:

[FONT=&quot]First let me say this; If you and your fiancé have believed in Christ for eternal salvation (eternal life); that is, you simply believed Jesus is the Son of God (The Christ—Messiah - John 20:30-31), always remember, you can never lose the eternal life God has already given you (John 10:28-29). Also remember, being saved eternally from the lake of fire doesn’t mean you will automatically stop sinning, we are all stuck with our old sin nature until we die physically to go home to be with our Lord.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The point is, it will take a while to get sinning under control in your life, remember, nobody will ever be totally sinless. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]However, God gave us a promise for all our post salvation sins, including sex before marriage (Rom 1:29), which is found in 1 John 1:9, which says: "If we confess our sins (post salvation sins), He (God) is faithful and just to forgive us our sins (known sins) and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness [unknown or forgotten sins]." NKJV. At your point of faith in Christ, all your past sins were 100% forgiven. However, whenever we commit a post salvation sin we lose our fellowship with God (not our salvation), confession of our post salvation sins always restores us back into fellowship with God. However, 1 John 1:9 is not a license to sin. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]With that said, the most important thing you and your fiancé can do is, if you have not already started to do so, is to begin growing spiritually. This is taught in Romans 12:2 which says: Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect. GNB. Transforming your mind is learning and applying Gods Word to your life which can take years and lots of effort saying no to the temptations you will always be faced with. You will find that the more you grow spiritually, the less you will succumb to temptation and/or want to sin.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Right now, if you can’t control it until you are married in June, you’re both in kind of a catch-22 situation because both sexual activity before marriage (fornication) and guilt (mental attitude sin) are sins; my suggestion while you are still dating before you get married, when you meet on a date, both of you could pray together (in like manner to praying of food at the dinner table) that God will help you to not succumb to any temptation of a sexual nature. Do this on every date till the wedding date. If you fail on a date, use the promise of 1 John 1:9 and keep moving forward in your spiritual growth.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I post a Church service with a sermon and weekly bible study right here in this group. It’s a place to begin growing spiritually by supplementing what you learn from your local church. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]By His Grace,[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]Mark [/FONT]

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Sorry, Ticket to Heaven, but I think you gave this young lady very bad advice. There is no "ticket to Heaven" as your name implies. There is no "once saved-always saved" ticket. The Bible says, OVER AND OVER again in many different ways,

2 Chronicles 7:14
(14) If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Sin separates us from God. Unless we separate from our sins, God cannot forgive us, and we will be lost. He is ever ready to forgive us when we fall, if we truly repent. But if we think we can go on sinning and that God is going to save us IN our sins, we are sadly mistaken and will be eternally lost. Jesus died to save us FROM our sins, not IN our sins.

[FONT=&quot]Hi Tammy,[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Ticket to Heaven is the name of a gospel tract, if you haven’t read it yet, the internet address is: God's Gift of Eternal Life Blog: Ticket to Heaven, I suggest you read it in light of your comment about me giving wrong gospel information. I wrote and posted it about 7 years ago on the AARP website and signed on with them as Ticket2Heavan. Of course there is no literal ticket someone can get or buy to go to heaven.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]You quoted 2 Chronicles 7:14 which is applicable to the OT (Old Testament) covenants to Israel (the Jewish people), the OT was written to the Jews of the OT. The NT (New Testament) was written to both the Jews and the Gentiles and contains the mystery doctrine for the church age which was not written in the OT.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]2 Chronicles 7:14 In this verse, God was speaking to Solomon telling him to communicate the message to the people of Israel: paraphrasing: if they (Israel) would do three things, God would respond in three ways. God told Solomon that His people needed to become humble, that is, confess; they needed to pray, or repent; and they needed to turn, or come back to Him. If they did, God would hear, forgive and heal their land. To get a better perspective of 7:14, you should read the entire chapter. Although the OT is profitable for rebuke and instruction in righteousness, the NT was written by the Apostles who were eye witnesses of Christ’s miracles and were taught by Jesus Himself.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]If an unbeliever were to only believe that they need to just be humble, confess, seek the face of God and turn from their wicked ways, they will not be saved.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]To be eternally saved (i.e., saved from the lake of fire—hell, which is eternal separation from God), one must simply believe that His Son, Jesus Christ is the Messiah, the Son of God (John 20:30-31 – 30 “And truly Jesus did many other signs in the presence of His disciples, which are not written in this book; 31 but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name.” NKJV) and believing he/she instantly receives God’s gift of eternal life (everlasting life and eternal life are synonymous terms in the New Testament). For more proof, see: John 3:15-18; 3:36; 5:24, 6:47 just to name a few verses in John’s Gospel, the only book in the bible that is written primarily to the unsaved, all the other 65 books of the bible are written to believers. The following are the verses I’ve listed in this paragraph from the New King James Version that support what I’ve said about receiving eternal salvation: [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]John 3:14-18: And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up, 15 that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. 16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18“He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. NKJV[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]John 3:36: [/FONT][FONT=&quot]36 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]He who believes in the Son has everlasting life; and he who does not believe the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him.”[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]John 5:24: 24 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]John 6:47: [/FONT][FONT=&quot]47 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me has everlasting life.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I also encourage you to read the entire Gospel of John, here’s the address to a version written by some of the same editors & writers of the NKJV: Living Water - The Gospel of John. It also explains a lot of the more difficult verses in John’s Gospel. To flip the pages in the eBook, just click the upper right corner of the book. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]You also seem to believe that we can lose our eternal salvation when we sin. We can never lose our eternal salvation, once saved always saved is clearly taught in Johns Gospel. If you have believed in Jesus Christ alone for eternal life, you can never lose it, no matter what. Do you think that God with his infinite knowledge would use the words everlasting life or eternal life in the bible written to use if He didn’t mean what He was saying? How long do you think everlasting life is? The bible tells us it is “forever”; that’s what “everlasting life” means. How long is forever? I believe it means “forever.” [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The following verses clearly state that one can never lose their eternal salvation: John 10:28-29, this is Jesus Himself speaking (28 And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand.); Romans 8:38-39.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Whenever we do commit a post salvation sin, we do lose fellowship with God the Father. When we are saved, no only are all our sins forgiven but we enter into fellowship with God the Father, at least until we commit our first post salvation sin. In my original post, I explained about 1 John 1:9 which is the promise of God that if we confess our sins (privately with our thoughts directed only to God the Father) He will forgive us our sins (known sins) and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (unknown or forgotten sins); if we do confess our fellowship is then restored. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]When Christ died for our sins on the cross, he died for all past, present and future sins of everyone in the world who ever lived or will life (that does not mean that everyone was saved eternally by his work on the cross). No one will ever go to hell because of their sins. They go hell because they did not believe in Jesus Christ. At the great white throne judgment (for unbelievers only) at the end of time (Rev 20:11-15 see below) which is the unbelievers fair trial, books are opened and every unbeliever is judged for their works to see if they were good enough to save them from hell (lake of fire), this is their fair trial so-to-speak like we have here in the USA, then the book of life is opened to see if their name is listed in it, if it isn’t, that means they never believed in Christ in time and they are cast into the lake of fire. That does not mean that everyone was saved eternally for his work on the cross.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Revelation 20:11-15[/FONT][FONT=&quot] - 11 Then I saw a great white throne and Him who sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away. And there was found no place for them. 12 And I saw the dead, small and great, standing before God, and books were opened. And another book was opened, which is the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to their works, by the things which were written in the books. 13 The sea gave up the dead who were in it, and Death and Hades delivered up the dead who were in them. And they were judged, each one according to his works. 14 Then Death and Hades were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. 15 And anyone not found written in the Book of Life was cast into the lake of fire.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]By His Grace,[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Mark[/FONT]

Mark, I believe you are really misinterpreting the Bible.
And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house. Acts 16:31.

Believing on the Lord translates into OBEYING the Lord. If we don't OBEY the Lord, then we really don't BELIEVE the Lord. We cannot obey on our own, but "all things are possible to them that believe"...with God's help, we can obey Him.

And "once-saved, always-saved" is a doctrine straight from Hell. It is a license to continue to sin, while all the time claiming to be a Christian on your way to Heaven. Our God is a God of FREEDOM. If we decided TODAY to serve Him, and TOMORROW we change our mind and choose to leave Him, He will let us go...He will not force us to stay.

Much of the Old Testament was not written for the Jews....the 10 Commandments in point...there were not any Jews when the 10 Commandments were given to Moses...the 10 Commandments were written for ALL people, Jew & Gentile, as was MUCH of the Old Testament and the New.

[FONT=&quot]Tammy, [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]You really need to look at the full context of what the bible is saying. Lets back up and read Acts 16:25-34 to provide you and the other readers a better perspective of the context.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Acts 16:25-34—25 But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. 26 Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone's chains were loosed. 27 And the keeper of the prison, awaking from sleep and seeing the prison doors open, supposing the prisoners had fled, drew his sword and was about to kill himself. 28 But Paul called with a loud voice, saying, "Do yourself no harm, for we are all here." 29 Then he called for a light, ran in, and fell down trembling before Paul and Silas. 30 And he brought them out and said, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" 31 So they said, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household." 32 Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. 33 And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their stripes. And immediately he and all his family were baptized. 34 Now when he had brought them into his house, he set food before them; and he rejoiced, having believed in God with all his household. NKJV[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The following info is from the Grace New Testament Commentary which was over 20 years in the making, written mostly by Dallas Theological Seminary Graduates who are continuing to teach from studying the original languages, both OT and NT: [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Acts 16:31 - So they said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.” NKJV[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Paul and Silas answered the jailer’s question concisely, accurately, and conclusively: “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.” The offer applied to everyone in the house. Paul and Silas assured salvation to everyone in the jailer’s family who believed. Nevertheless the belief of one member does not guarantee that eventually all will come to believe in Jesus. Paul and Silas gave the prison keeper a promise of what God does for a believer (i.e., saves him) rather than a prediction regarding who or how many in his household would believe. (In this case everyone did believe; see v 34.)[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The Gentile prison keeper would have to believe that he would be saved on the single condition of belief in Jesus. The jailer might have learned more about Jesus later, but the condition would not have changed. Saving faith is the persuasion that one right now has everlasting life by faith alone, not the persuasion that God might give him everlasting life on some future day if he remains faithful. The “Grace New Testament Commentary”[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]All of the Old Testament was written to and for the Jews. It was not written to the Gentiles but they could read it and believe it. If a Gentile believed in the coming of Messaih, they would be eternally saved. The 10 commandments (Exodus 20) were written to the Jews (Exodus 20:2) but again Gentiles could also apply it to their lives as well.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]You are providing your opinions about what a verse is saying, but nothing you’ve said is backed up by scripture. Therefore, I think it may be time for us to agree to disagree. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]By His Grace,[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Mark[/FONT]

If you truly believe you are supposed to be together move the marriage date up, like immediately. If you believe in what you are doing what are you waiting for? If you aren't confident in marrying them right now then you shouldn't be having sex.

Tammy said:

And "once-saved, always-saved" is a doctrine straight from Hell. It is a license to continue to sin, while all the time claiming to be a Christian on your way to Heaven. Our God is a God of FREEDOM. If we decided TODAY to serve Him, and TOMORROW we change our mind and choose to leave Him, He will let us go...He will not force us to stay.

Much of the Old Testament was not written for the Jews....the 10 Commandments in point...there were not any Jews when the 10 Commandments were given to Moses...the 10 Commandments were written for ALL people, Jew & Gentile, as was MUCH of the Old Testament and the New.

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As a man of the Arminian path, I love this.
OSAS is a mess. I cannot stand the idea that puts people on a pedestal. People say that if you say commit murder, you 'weren't really saved in the first place!'
Rubbish, if a Christian commits murder he has fallen from grace by his own freewill.
Go Wesley!
erm....
Sorry tangent.